Quite possibly the most disgusting thing you will ever hear me say

All I can say is, some people have no shame. I've witnessed disgusting before, but this really takes the cake.

(The identity of this coworker shall remain anonymous even though I know he could care less whether I mentioned it or not.)

Anonymous and I are standing near my desk talking about tomorrows luncheon that I'm supposed to be putting together. (Wish me luck, I haven't even started. I plan on winging it, it's always worked in the past.) After a brief lull in conversation, anonymous passes gas, very loudly, and laughs. Staring in horror, I can't believe what has just happened. Grossed out, I walk away, leaving him standing at my desk.

Unfortunately, the story gets worse.

Several minutes later, I return to my desk and find Dave milling around, looking at a print on the cart near my desk. Looking up at me, he says "Mmmm.... smells like someone's cooking beans back here, was Joe eating at his desk again?"

I thought I was going to die. Not only could I not stop laughing, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth either.