10 Reasons Why I have been Absent from my Blog
1. Aliens abducted me, performing one hellish experiment after another until I finally made my escape, using a tube sock, a turkey baster, a roll of duct tape, and an anal probe.
2. I was trapped beneath a 500lb man named Bubba when he sat beside me on a bench at Wal Mart.
3. I had fallen and couldn't get up.
4. Disregarding my better judgment, attempting to live life on the wild side by eating bagged spinach and contracted ecoli poisoning.
5. I ate an entire bag of Cheetos, making it absolutely impossible for me to touch anything for days because of Cheeto Fingers.
6. 3 fashion magazines showed up in my mail box at the same time. In my normal compulsive manner, I immediately got down to business checking out each and every perfume sample in all 3 books.
7. The overwhelmingly powerful fumes from the perfume samples in the 3 fashion magazines caused temporary paralyses on the right side of my body.
8. The weight from the snow collapsed the power lines leaving the computer useless.
9. I joined the witness protection program to escape the unhealthy clutches of the new quality engineer.
10. I ran away, but was forced to come back.
2. I was trapped beneath a 500lb man named Bubba when he sat beside me on a bench at Wal Mart.
3. I had fallen and couldn't get up.
4. Disregarding my better judgment, attempting to live life on the wild side by eating bagged spinach and contracted ecoli poisoning.
5. I ate an entire bag of Cheetos, making it absolutely impossible for me to touch anything for days because of Cheeto Fingers.
6. 3 fashion magazines showed up in my mail box at the same time. In my normal compulsive manner, I immediately got down to business checking out each and every perfume sample in all 3 books.
7. The overwhelmingly powerful fumes from the perfume samples in the 3 fashion magazines caused temporary paralyses on the right side of my body.
8. The weight from the snow collapsed the power lines leaving the computer useless.
9. I joined the witness protection program to escape the unhealthy clutches of the new quality engineer.
10. I ran away, but was forced to come back.
@ 7:00 PM
4 Comments:
I have a 400-pound brother-in-lawn whose nickname is Bubba. Maybe he's only 350...
"Brother-in-lawn." Someone needs to learn to poofread.
LOL! And, if I remember right, weren't you once one of those people who proof read for a living?
HA HA - any single one of those is great! I like Number 7 - I can relate.
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