Man vs. Woman - The Shower
How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
Get in the shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
@ 1:47 PM
8 Comments:
So is this all a common occurance in the Sanders household??? :p
Know the correct definition of a gentleman?
A gentleman steps out of the shower to take a whiz.
Bwuaahaahaaaa!!
LOVED IT!
Howd' you know?
Do you have a camera in my apartment?
LOL!!! Perfect!!! LOL!!! I needed that!
That is just as good if not better than the story of how men and women differ going to the Dr.
The women make sure that no one is coming in get undressed quickly, put the gown on and fold all their clothes making sure to tuck all undergarments under or between the clothes so no one can see them. Grab a magazine and wait quietly.
Men on the other hand take their sweet time getting naked and when it comes to their undies they swing them around their ankle trying to flick them on to the door handle. If the Dr. walks in and gets hit with flying undies, that is just extra points. Oh and gown, what gown???
LOL!!!
The truth comes out :-) Too funny!
Stereotyping at it's best.
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