Thought for the Day
Life is just one damned thing after another.
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
I have come to believe that there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel, never a means to an end, never a final culmination, life is merely an ongoing saga of great highs and lows forever coming.
One of my greatest goals in adulthood was to live a comfortable life and be happy. You have no idea how hard a goal this is to achieve! I long for the day that is stress free, the day that I don't feel a mountain of responsibility on my shoulders, the day where I can just open my eyes and be happy with my life.
I often wonder if it's just me.
I was a horrible mother today. I was trying to get ready for work this morning and Thomas was irritating the heck out of me. After yelling down the stairs and asking Zachary to make Thomas a bowl of cereal, I continued on getting ready for work. I could hear Thomas whining down stairs, and Zachary being mean to him. I totally lost it.
I did one thing I promised myself I would never do.
I yelled at Zachary, really yelled at him, for not taking care of his brother. I told him I expect him to help out, when I ask him to do something, I expected him to do it. I continued on by yelling that we had to leave the house in 10 minutes and Thomas was still without breakfast, and not dressed. I went back upstairs, finished getting ready, and when I returned back downstairs Thomas was good to go.
It wasn't until just a few minutes ago that I had realized what I had done, and now I feel terrible. It is my firm belief that siblings should not be responsible for the care of younger ones. That's what parents are for, I'm the one who decided I wanted another baby, Thomas is my responsibility, and I completely forced my 11 year old son to carry my weight.
I feel like I make so many mistakes with parenthood. It's not easy learning everything from scratch, at times like this, I sure wish my Grandma was still alive.
Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
I have come to believe that there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel, never a means to an end, never a final culmination, life is merely an ongoing saga of great highs and lows forever coming.
One of my greatest goals in adulthood was to live a comfortable life and be happy. You have no idea how hard a goal this is to achieve! I long for the day that is stress free, the day that I don't feel a mountain of responsibility on my shoulders, the day where I can just open my eyes and be happy with my life.
I often wonder if it's just me.
I was a horrible mother today. I was trying to get ready for work this morning and Thomas was irritating the heck out of me. After yelling down the stairs and asking Zachary to make Thomas a bowl of cereal, I continued on getting ready for work. I could hear Thomas whining down stairs, and Zachary being mean to him. I totally lost it.
I did one thing I promised myself I would never do.
I yelled at Zachary, really yelled at him, for not taking care of his brother. I told him I expect him to help out, when I ask him to do something, I expected him to do it. I continued on by yelling that we had to leave the house in 10 minutes and Thomas was still without breakfast, and not dressed. I went back upstairs, finished getting ready, and when I returned back downstairs Thomas was good to go.
It wasn't until just a few minutes ago that I had realized what I had done, and now I feel terrible. It is my firm belief that siblings should not be responsible for the care of younger ones. That's what parents are for, I'm the one who decided I wanted another baby, Thomas is my responsibility, and I completely forced my 11 year old son to carry my weight.
I feel like I make so many mistakes with parenthood. It's not easy learning everything from scratch, at times like this, I sure wish my Grandma was still alive.
@ 12:00 PM
5 Comments:
Don't worry about it. We all have our moments. One time I was so mad at my eldest daughter for her back talk (she was 5 or 6 at the time) that I heaved the grapes I was holding in my hand at her as hard as I could throw them.... she never forgot it, but we have to laugh about it now. I'm just glad I wasn't holding forks or something...
I have blown up at my son more than once for things that I shouldn't. I do talk about these sudden "mommy-outbursts" with him and apologize for being a big huge jerk. But I also explain to him that I get frustrated having to carry the majority of the kid-load by myself and sometimes I really need his help. He is a very forgiving person and he understands that I wouldn't ask him to do things if I didn't really REALLY need his help. I'm sure your son understands too. As long as you and your son talk about it and keep those communication lines open, you will do great, you are an awesome mom!
Take it from me, I am THE Big Mama!!!
Don't be so hard on yourself. It is what we do on an everyday basis that will be remembered in the end. Not the little moments when we all make mistakes. Everyone has those little moments. It is what makes us human.
I know you feel bad about it, but it might have taught the older son a lesson. He should help, he should be big brotherish to the little guy, and he should know that you love him either way it goes...but it's all part of growing up.
Blowing up is never good, and that's perfectly human. We all make mistakes.
However, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask an older sibling to help out. A family is a team afterall.
As the oldest kid, I was just expected to help out with my two younger siblings. It's made me be a more responsible parent, I believe.
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