And my oldest son turns 12......
Yesterday was Zach's birthday, I can't believe he's 12 already. I don't feel like the mother of a 12 year old, it seems like just the other day I was bringing his tiny little body home from the hospital.
But that's life, I suppose. It's over in the blink of an eye. Before I know it he'll be 18 years old and leaving me to go off to college or a trade school of some kind.
My mother-in-law stopped by the house last night while I was getting Zach's birthday cake set up with the candles on it. The minute she entered the kitchen she commented "Gee, I'm glad you invited me." Instant guilt trip for me. I didn't invite anyone. Charlie and I are having serious problems at the moment and the last thing I want is to have anyone see that I've given up.
Poor Zach, Charlie left the room and went back outside at one point, and Zach told his grandma "I hope Dad feels better tomorrow."
My mother-in-law looked at him and said "Is he sick?"
Zach just replied "No, he's just like that."
It literally made my eyes well with tears. This day was supposed to be special for him, and he has this to deal with.
When Zach called me at work yesterday and asked me to tell his Dad not to drink beer for his birthday I wanted to cry. Flashbacks of my own childhood raced through my mind. I remember seeing my Dad beat the shit right out of my mom for the first time. He was a sullen drunk. I remember crying to the point of nausea at the neighbors house because my Dad had been hauled off by the cops in hand cuffs and my Mom had been taken to the ER because her wrist had been slammed in a door. I remember the nights my mom would drag us kids from bar to bar looking for my dad. I remember the day I decided I didn't want friends to come over to my house anymore, I was 9 years old.
One thing I promised myself was that my kids would never have to go through life the way I did, and I'm going to keep that promise.
Yikes! I didn't intend for this post to get so emotional... But, it's out there, now, so I'm going to leave it. Sometimes you have to give up a secret now and then or they'll eat you alive.
But that's life, I suppose. It's over in the blink of an eye. Before I know it he'll be 18 years old and leaving me to go off to college or a trade school of some kind.
My mother-in-law stopped by the house last night while I was getting Zach's birthday cake set up with the candles on it. The minute she entered the kitchen she commented "Gee, I'm glad you invited me." Instant guilt trip for me. I didn't invite anyone. Charlie and I are having serious problems at the moment and the last thing I want is to have anyone see that I've given up.
Poor Zach, Charlie left the room and went back outside at one point, and Zach told his grandma "I hope Dad feels better tomorrow."
My mother-in-law looked at him and said "Is he sick?"
Zach just replied "No, he's just like that."
It literally made my eyes well with tears. This day was supposed to be special for him, and he has this to deal with.
When Zach called me at work yesterday and asked me to tell his Dad not to drink beer for his birthday I wanted to cry. Flashbacks of my own childhood raced through my mind. I remember seeing my Dad beat the shit right out of my mom for the first time. He was a sullen drunk. I remember crying to the point of nausea at the neighbors house because my Dad had been hauled off by the cops in hand cuffs and my Mom had been taken to the ER because her wrist had been slammed in a door. I remember the nights my mom would drag us kids from bar to bar looking for my dad. I remember the day I decided I didn't want friends to come over to my house anymore, I was 9 years old.
One thing I promised myself was that my kids would never have to go through life the way I did, and I'm going to keep that promise.
Yikes! I didn't intend for this post to get so emotional... But, it's out there, now, so I'm going to leave it. Sometimes you have to give up a secret now and then or they'll eat you alive.
@ 6:44 AM
5 Comments:
Happy belated birthday to Zach.
Sorry to hear about your problems at the moment. Hoping they will be solved soon :)
Happy birthday Zach! I too am the recent mother of a 12 year old. (June 29th) I am far from old!!! And so are you!
I'm sorry you are sad. I wish there was a magic spell to make it all go away and you could feel normal again. Just remember we are all here for you. We have big shoulders and strong backs if you ever need to lean on us. I think I speak for all of us when I say that. Hang in there.
Happy belated birthday to your son.
I hope that things pick up for you on the homefront. I wish you the best on this. It is a problem that I am well aware of and is one reason that I am not much of a drinker. Memories of childhood can last a lifetime.
Oh man I feel sorry for him...
Happy B/Day guy!
Zach is lucky to have a caring and understanding mother like you are Sherri. This is a tough time you are dealing with... Hugs.
Post a Comment
<< Home