9:25 pm and Still 90 Degrees!
I may not make it through this heat wave alive......
Work was absolutely miserable today. If I didn't know any better I would have guessed I was in hell.
From what I can see, tomorrow is going to be just as bad.
Mary approached me today and asked me how I was doing, she claimed to be worried about me. She told me that I hadn't been my self lately, that I always looked tired anymore and I lacked the enthusiasm I once had. I just stared at her for a moment. I thought, for just a second, about lying to her and just pretending that everything was fine and she was imagining things. But, I didn't. I was honest for once and told her I thought that I was suffering from some of the symptoms of depression and I just couldn't snap out of it.
She agreed with me and told me there was nothing wrong with seeking help, that a lot of people out there are in the same boat that I'm in. The reality is, I don't think I'll be able to snap out of this. Just taking drugs isn't going to fix any of the issues that have created this depression within me.
Work was absolutely miserable today. If I didn't know any better I would have guessed I was in hell.
From what I can see, tomorrow is going to be just as bad.
Mary approached me today and asked me how I was doing, she claimed to be worried about me. She told me that I hadn't been my self lately, that I always looked tired anymore and I lacked the enthusiasm I once had. I just stared at her for a moment. I thought, for just a second, about lying to her and just pretending that everything was fine and she was imagining things. But, I didn't. I was honest for once and told her I thought that I was suffering from some of the symptoms of depression and I just couldn't snap out of it.
She agreed with me and told me there was nothing wrong with seeking help, that a lot of people out there are in the same boat that I'm in. The reality is, I don't think I'll be able to snap out of this. Just taking drugs isn't going to fix any of the issues that have created this depression within me.
@ 9:25 PM
7 Comments:
The heat certainly doesn't help. I wish you luck in getting better.
no, the heat certainly doesn't make it any better. Things tend to seem absolutely unbearable when you are miserable.
I thought about you all last night after reading this post. I have battled clinical depression most of my life. Thanks in great part to my father who also suffers. Sometimes you can "snap out of it" but sometimes you can't. My problem is chemical, I can't help it. It's not severe by any means. It is just there.... I had post pardum depression as well (that was fun). Please don't be afraid to seek help, even if it is just to talk to someone. You deserve to feel like yourself again. I really like you and I think you are an awesome person and a good writer. ((((Sherri)))) there I gave you some hugs. Oh and yes the heat makes it MUCH worse!!!! Keep us posted.
Oh Sherri, I suffered depression for most of my life and never knew it. I thought it was just the way we all felt. Fortunately, my depression wasn't chemical. Taking drugs never helped it at all.
I decided after about 33 years of living through this, that I needed to do something about it. I was just sitting there on the couch and suddenly it just came to me: Drop the walls of emotional protection you've been holding up, the walls that keep you from feeling pain. These are the same walls that kept me from feeling ANYTHING, and so my life up till then has been mostly made up of cardboard!
I just dropped the walls and started actually "using" my five senses (I hardly ever did before) to experience this world we live in, and now... yes, I do feel pain, but I also feel joy and everything else. Each feeling I experience, I work with it, even pain and sorrow. I literally FEEL it, look at it, learn from it, then let it go.
Everything is so much more real and vivid now! Even things my wife and I have fun with. But that's how I got over my depression. Like I said, though, it wasn't chemical for me. It's different for others I think.
Good luck to you!
Always,
Jas...
PS, I deleted my ask nerdboy blog. Sorry I missed you! Please say hello at my regular blog, okay? :D
big mama, thanks for the hugs. :) You're such a kind person, that's one of the things I like so much about you.
redneck nerdboy, that's a very tough thing to do! You deserve so much credit for being able to work through it all... I'll be sure to stop by your regular blog and say Hi!
Sherri, it really is crummy to feel that way, day after day. I hope you are able to get some help. I started taking St. John's Wort when I was at the end of my rope... it seemed to help.
GIANT *HUGS*...
Thinking about you...
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