Easter
I've come to realize that no matter how hard I try, or how much I want everything to work out, it never does.
I can safely say that this Easter was probably the worst Easter I've ever had.
Now, I know that Easter just isn't about gifts and candy, it's about the resurrection of Jesus.... etc, but it really hurts to not be able to do the gifts and candy.
This is the first year that I have ever had where I was unable to afford anything for my kids on easter. And, by anything, I mean ANYTHING. No candy, no toys, nothing.
I almost can't even live with myself because of it.
When I got up yesterday Charlie and the kids were already up. Zach had looked at me when I came down the stairs and asked if they really didn't get anything for Easter. I had to tell him yes, which broke my heart. I sat on the couch next to Thomas and Charlie decided to tell the kids he shot the Easter Bunny. What an ass, I could kill him pretty much most of the time.
Thomas asked me why the Easter Bunny didn't come to our house so I told him it was because we didn't have enough money to give to the Easter Bunny so he could get us goodies and toys. Like most kids, he looked at me quizzically and said ok.
I wanted to explain to the kids that it wouldn't be like this always, I wanted to tell them that I was 6 weeks behind on my unemployment checks but we had finally gotten it straightened out on Thursday, I wanted to tell them that I really wasn't a complete scum loser parent..... But I didn't.
Instead I reassured them that the Easter Bunny hadn't forgotten them, they were still going to get a visit, it just wouldn't be until this weekend. I felt like a complete lame ass.
And that was that. Not another word was said by either kid about Easter.
I have no idea if they felt hurt, or sad, or really didn't care.
And to be honest, I think I like it better that way.
I wish I could say this would be the end of the drama for the day, but it was not.
Like we do every year, Charlie, the kids, and I all dressed up and went down to Charlie's mom's house for Easter dinner. While I have absolutely no idea how it happened, we somehow managed to all pile out of the car and lock Hannah, along with the car keys, inside my car.
Personally, I think it was because the car is posessed.
So, needless to say, since I was already having the most terrible day, this only made things that much worse. Charlie and I were yelling at each other out in the drive way as I turned to head into the house and see if I could borrow a vehicle to go get my spare keys. Not realizing my mother-in-law's driveway was a complete sheet of ice, I fell flat on my back and totally wrenched my bad knee.
I was a crying, sobbing mess.
Thank God Hannah was asleep or she would have been screaming and crying locked up inside that car all by herself.
I sure hope things get better.
I can safely say that this Easter was probably the worst Easter I've ever had.
Now, I know that Easter just isn't about gifts and candy, it's about the resurrection of Jesus.... etc, but it really hurts to not be able to do the gifts and candy.
This is the first year that I have ever had where I was unable to afford anything for my kids on easter. And, by anything, I mean ANYTHING. No candy, no toys, nothing.
I almost can't even live with myself because of it.
When I got up yesterday Charlie and the kids were already up. Zach had looked at me when I came down the stairs and asked if they really didn't get anything for Easter. I had to tell him yes, which broke my heart. I sat on the couch next to Thomas and Charlie decided to tell the kids he shot the Easter Bunny. What an ass, I could kill him pretty much most of the time.
Thomas asked me why the Easter Bunny didn't come to our house so I told him it was because we didn't have enough money to give to the Easter Bunny so he could get us goodies and toys. Like most kids, he looked at me quizzically and said ok.
I wanted to explain to the kids that it wouldn't be like this always, I wanted to tell them that I was 6 weeks behind on my unemployment checks but we had finally gotten it straightened out on Thursday, I wanted to tell them that I really wasn't a complete scum loser parent..... But I didn't.
Instead I reassured them that the Easter Bunny hadn't forgotten them, they were still going to get a visit, it just wouldn't be until this weekend. I felt like a complete lame ass.
And that was that. Not another word was said by either kid about Easter.
I have no idea if they felt hurt, or sad, or really didn't care.
And to be honest, I think I like it better that way.
I wish I could say this would be the end of the drama for the day, but it was not.
Like we do every year, Charlie, the kids, and I all dressed up and went down to Charlie's mom's house for Easter dinner. While I have absolutely no idea how it happened, we somehow managed to all pile out of the car and lock Hannah, along with the car keys, inside my car.
Personally, I think it was because the car is posessed.
So, needless to say, since I was already having the most terrible day, this only made things that much worse. Charlie and I were yelling at each other out in the drive way as I turned to head into the house and see if I could borrow a vehicle to go get my spare keys. Not realizing my mother-in-law's driveway was a complete sheet of ice, I fell flat on my back and totally wrenched my bad knee.
I was a crying, sobbing mess.
Thank God Hannah was asleep or she would have been screaming and crying locked up inside that car all by herself.
I sure hope things get better.
@ 2:54 PM
5 Comments:
:(
It'll be ok. :)
We would have been in good shape if we didn't have to have propane delivered last friday. 4% just wasn't going to make it through one more week.
I'm so sorry Sherri! That whole story blows. But if it makes you feel any better, I have NEVER ever celebrated Easter with my kids. I get the church stuff but even as a kid I never understood all that bunny stuff. So, I never perpetuated it with my kids. (Now that makes me SUCK!)
If you were a,"complete scum loser parent" or a "complete lame ass" you wouldn't give a sh*t at all. You love your kids with your whole heart and don't want them to want or hurt for anything. To me that makes you a pretty darn wonderful parent. I think you handled it just right so stop beating yourself up for it. The Princess won't even remember the (knee) pains you went through to save her from the possessed car.
Oh and poke Charlie in the eye for me...
big mama, I poked him in the eye. He was not happy. LOL!!!
Awe hon - I'm sorry to hear about your Easter. I remember once I had a Christmas with my children, like your Easter. I told my sad story to a group of women at a meeting, and afterward a woman came up to me and pressed a 20 dollar bill into my hand. I was so grateful - and spent it at the Goodwill store on reused toys for my kids' Christmas presents. It isn't a problem when it is just you, but when it is your kids that have that sad look in their eyes, it is unbearable. Hang in there Sherri, it does get better. Hugs.
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