The last thing on earth I wanted to hear...

was my store manager at the gas station tell me all about her bathroom exploits after eating an entire plate of brussel sprouts.

Can we say... TOO MUCH INFORMATION?!

Thought I was going to die.

On another work related note, I did notice one of my coworkers has developed black pits in a few of his teeth, up along the gum line. Very surprising, considering he had somewhat normal, healthy looking teeth just a few months ago. I hope he hasn't gotten himself involved in some sort of drug abuse situation. That could be very bad....

Lastly, and FINALLY, I've changed that antiquated profile picture I've been sporting since 2007. Gave myself a mini-makeover on Sunday, and I'm still trying to get used to the new look. I'm not quite sure what I think of it yet, but, it's hard to tell at first. Sometimes change takes time to get used to, what you see in your mind's eye isn't at all what you actually see in real life.

Considering I'm one of those people who are naturally insecure about their appearance to begin with, even slight changes cause me great pains....

Kids and Vegetables

I know what you're thinking.

Kids? Vegetables?? Oil and water....

But, I'm here to say, not my kids. My kids LOVE vegetables. What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

I spent the better part of an hour this morning yelling at my kids to QUIT fighting over the carrot sticks.

I can think of better ways to start my day.

Can I start over at the beginning?

What a day from hell!

Discovered the cashier forgot to take the theft senser off my sweater last night when I stepped through the door at work this morning. I immediately set off the alarm, catching the attention of EVERY Kohl's employee within a 50 mile radius.

Attempted to portray a professional and business like persona only to have it thwarted by my 17 year old son when he SHOWED UP at Kohl's and had me paged out of my INTERVIEWS! He apparently wiped out on his 4 wheeler last night and showed up looking for sympathy and a parent to excuse him from school. If his foot hadn't been the size of a tree trunk, I would have kicked his ass.

Discovered I lost my car keys 5 hours after I got to work. Would not have found the keys had I not been arguing with my ex in the parking lot.... One of the sales girls overheard me and graciously told me they had found a set of keys at register one and that I should take a look in the drawer and see if they were mine.

Thank GOD for small miracles.

Screamed at the top of my lungs when my downstairs neighbor somehow managed to get behind me without my noticing, and said 'hi'. I apologized, and trying to rationalize that I'm not normally that jumpy.... The problem is, I think I kind of 'am' that jumpy.

I hope all my readers out there are having a better day than what I've had.....

For the third day in a row....

The house was locked up and EMPTY when I drove out to pick my kids up after work.

I'm totally pissed.

When I called Charlie to ask him where the fuck everyone is, he says to me "I'm on my way into town. How am I supposed to know what your schedule is??"

Fucking PRICK!!

It's a SET schedule. I work these SAME hours EVERY Monday!!!

Time to start making his life miserable for a change. It's been a while since I've been this fucking pissed off at his miserable ass.

Looks like I'll be calling Friend of the Court tomorrow. This situation needs to finally be put to rest, and it's clearly obvious, he and I aren't capable of working things out on our own.

Prick! Prick! Prick! Prick! Prick!!!!!!!!

The problem with having a name like Sherri?

Men always feel like they have to burst out in song when they say your name.

A black guy in golf clothes with an orange towel on his shoulder burst out in song as he stepped up to the register today. As if the bad teeth and horrible singing voice weren't bad enough, his main focus for today's shopping trip was to pick up orange Zig Zag's and a Black and Mild cigar.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Hopelessly Addicted

Curse you Facebook!!!

All your allure, and time sucking charm......

You would think a woman with 2 jobs and 3 kids would value what little spare time she has 'enough' to spend what little of it she gets doing something a lot more productive than harvesting imaginary crops and populating imaginary cities.

Yet, here I am, day after day, waking up just a little earlier than I have to, bringing the laptop to bed with me at night, craving the satisfaction of knowing all of my electronic time wasters will be there next time I log in, waiting for me to accomplish new set of tasks.

As Susan Powter once screamed, "Stop the insanity!"

Do Not Eat

Why do you suppose they put that warning on the outside of desiccate packs?

Let me tell you...

I bought a package of pepperoni tonight to make cheese and cracker snacks for my kids and I. Barely paying attention to what I was doing because my kids were on my fucking LAST nerve, I popped a few slices of what I thought were pepperonis into my mouth.

It was NOT a pretty sight.

A gritty pocket of bitter sand burst into my mouth as I bit through the desiccate packaging and released it's contents.

I've never tasted anything so horrible in my life.

God help me if I sprout a third arm and suddenly develop the ability to move things with my mind as a result of all this.....

Insecurities

I'm having a bad day today.

Bad things haven't happened to me, but I'm filled with insecurity and doubt, wishing my life was in a million ways different.

Loneliness has taken it's toll on me, I think. I'm beginning to wonder if this is how I'm going to be spending the rest of my life.

I certainly hope not....

Watch your damn kids!!

That's exactly what the guy with the classic, baby blue Impala said to me when my neighbor's daughter threw an open can of root beer at his car.

I wanted to die.

Not only was it NOT my kid, her mother was standing RIGHT THERE!

I can't imagine, for the life of me, how a person can let their children be so out of control. What type of person just sends their kids across the street because they're hungry?

For Christ's sake, I'm a single mother to!

Today I decided, I've had enough. I am not letting her borrow my car anymore. I am not feeding her kids only to have my own go without. I am not going to wind up spending my every spare moment of my day watching her brats.

Most of the day went well, mainly because I made an excuse to not be home all day, but as usual, it all came crashing to a screeching halt.

Kitty asked me if I had any Mt. Dew.

Of COURSE I had Mt. Dew, considering it's my drink of choice, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her no. The next thing I know, her oldest daughter is running down my stairs asking me if she could have an orange juice. Again I couldn't say no.

Before I knew it, 6 orange juices were gone, most of my hard salami, and half a pound of colby cheese.

I was pissed!

Grabbing my cup and throwing out the garbage her kids had thrown all over my driveway, I told them all it was time for my kids and I to go upstairs.

To be honest, my last nerve had been worked and I was about a breath away from telling them all to just FUCK off.

What kind of person just goes over to someone elses house and makes themselves at home in their fridge?

Does she think I'm rich or something?

It's time for me to pull out the turtle shell. I have a feeling I'm going to have to get ugly and be mean in order to get the point across. Apparently telling her kids they aren't allowed in my apartment and they can't get into my cupboards and refridgerator isn't concise enough to get the point across.

The County Clerk

I awoke this morning to find a pair of thong underpants hanging from the rear view mirror of my car and a note on the passenger side telling me that if I like old guys so much I should start a business. There was a crudely drawn picture of a penis toward the bottom and a fake phone number that said "1-800-suck dick."

He's a crafty one, isn't he.

So, tired of all the bull shit, I went to the city police department and filed a complaint. I then went to the county clerks office and filed for a personal protection order.

He has made my life just absolutely miserable.

My whole life has been hard, I guess I should expect this to be too. Why would I expect anything less from someone who has never once ever put any thought into me. It has always been, all about him.

Halloween, a complete nightmare.

Doing anything at all, with Charlie, is a struggle for me. Just being around him leaves me upset and at the brink of tears more often than not.

I wish he would just crawl into a hole somewhere and die.

Last night was no different, holiday or not. Between being urged to become a prostitute and being put down for my looks, it was impossible for me to enjoy my favorite night of the year with Thomas and Hannah.

I hate Charlie for making me feel terrible about myself. I hate him more because he finds such delight in destroying me emotionally.

He didn't deserve someone like me.

Now I will forever pay the price of thinking that I could somehow manage to make my life normal with that monster.