I was just thinking.....

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Location: United States

How was my day? Let me tell you....

Friday, June 27, 2008

Just another day at the beach......

My friend Sandy called yesterday and invited the kids and I to hang out at the lake with her.

Fun! Fun! Fun!

It's just too bad I didn't have my camera with me, I could have literally kicked myself on a couple of occasions.

As usual, the weird and bizaar were all around. From the gang of men with the metal detectors and treasure hunting t-shirts that were combing the beach in search of burried treasure to the teenage boy who was cruising the beach scoping for chicks with his ass hanging out of his shorts, I pretty much witnessed it all.

At one point a group of people had begun feeding the seagulls near us. Their plan was to burry one of their group in the sand in hopes to, I'm assuming, catch one of the birds.

Let's just say, the plan didn't work.

So they burry this boy under a mound of sand with a stick and place doritos in the sand all over him. He had to have been there for at least 5 minutes, not a single bird. I actually wondered just how long this kid was going to lay there....

By now quite a crowd of people had gathered to see the spectacle. Fortunately for Sandy and I, they burried this kid about 15 feet from us so we got the birds eye view.

Just when I thought this kid was going to be burried for the rest of the afternoon one of the guys in the group threw a football at the mound of sand and out popped an arm with a stick, waving wildly at what he thought was a seagull.

The sight was absolutely hilarious.

At the end of the afternoon I even discovered that, after several hours of sitting next to the man in the green chair, it was in actuality a WOMAN sitting in the green chair.

Next time, I'm definitely going to be camera ready!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

A lighter, a bottle rocket, 2 14 year old boys, and a shoe box full of fire crackers.

What do you get when you mix all of the above?

You get a 34 year old woman who is on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

I went to the dentist on Thursday and found out that I have started to unconsciously clench my teeth.

Yep, that's right, I couldn't have developed some normal, everyday stress tick like, oh..... let's say, biting my nails or fidgeting. Nope, I've got to clench my teeth to the point that they are crumbling in my mouth.


For years now I've had perfect checkups. No cavities, not stress fractures, just teeth in relatively good condition.

Until now.

Now I have stress fractures all over my teeth and one tooth actually cracked to the point it needs a crown.

At this rate, I'll be in dentures before Zach graduates from high school.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

And this is precisely why......

Men should NOT wear sweatpants!

I was at the public library yesterday with Thomas.

It's our new thing..... He picks out a book, I end up seeing someone I know and chat for a few minutes, we both get a kick out of it.

Now, I know that not everyone in life is as conciencious of their appearance and what they are wearing as I am, but, come on!

When you are in a public library please be sure to keep the goods under wraps!

So, I'm talking with Pat, one of my former bosses, and I excuse myself to see what Thomas is up to. Accidentally heading down a dead end isle, I turn to leave only to discover a man wearing quite possibly the smallest pair of sweatpants on earth has blocked my exit.

Was it my imagination? Or.... Could I really see the entire silhouette of his 'manyly parts'.

Yep, upon further examination, I could indeed see every last nook, cranny, crevice, and bulge through the deceptively thin material of his skin tight sweatpants.

I'm sure you're wondering, now, why on earth would Sherri be checking out some guys 'manly parts'?

Well, to be honest, I just couldn't help myself. It was kind of like seeing someone with a really bad hair cut or a gigantic zit on their nose.....

You just can't help but stare!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Like a scene from a horror movie.....

The following post was not meant for the faint of heart. Readers beware....

Thinking nothing of it, I sat Hannah on the floor this morning to grab a few cheerios for her to snack on. No big deal, I let her crawl around on the floor quite a bit now. Up until today, I was fairly confident in my ability to keep the floor clear of any objects that should not be within reach of an infant.

I will assuredly have nighmares for the rest of my life about what happened next.

Staring in horror and disbelief, I watched as my precious little Princess Hannah opened her mouth and out fell a June Bug.


Even now, hours later, I'm still cringing at the thought.

On a related note: I attended a graduation party today that was held outside in a wooded lot. While I was sitting with Hannah talking to Geoff and Scott, Geoff absently flicked a cricket from his head onto my arm. June Bug moment fresh in my mind, I completely freaked out and shrieked like a moron jumping out of my seat, flailing my arms wildly as everyone stared on.


I'm so embarrassing.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

What color are you?

You Are a Yellow Crayon

Your world is colored with happy, warm, fun colors.

You have a thoughtful and wise way about you. Some people might even consider you a genius.

Charming and eloquent, you are able to get people to do things your way.

While you seem spontaneous and free wheeling, you are calculating to the extreme.

Your color wheel opposite is purple. You both are charismatic leaders, but purple people act like you have no depth.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Stalker

When I was 25 I worked with a woman named Shawn.

She terrified me.

Not in the ways you may be thinking.... She definitely wasn't an axe wielding psychopath hovering beneath a pile of leaves in my back yard but she did terrify me.

Shawn was absolutely fixated on me for some reason.

It started out when she was first hired on at work. Roz and I had asked Rick for a third person in our area to help with the reel counting and kit pulling. Along came Shawn. She had fit in, in her own anti-social way.

That is..... Until she started to become my much taller, much heavier shadow. She was married and had been for 17 years but I was certain she had developed some sort of a crush on me.

It was Roz who had gone to Rick and explained to him how Shawn had started overstepping boundaries. Roz, herself, had begun to feel creeped out by her as well. Rick, in turn, had pulled Shawn aside and had a 'talk' with her.

It did not go well.

Immediately after the talk I had Shawn approach me to apologize for her obsessive stalker behaviors. I was like a deer caught in the headlights, staring at an oncoming car waiting to be hit.

Shawn had been one of the original 96 people who had been layed off back in 2000 and, to be honest, I hadn't given her any thought.

That is.... until today.

Thomas and I were shopping at Wal Mart when I had heard my name being called from behind me.

It was Shawn!

She had certainly changed in appearance but I knew right away who it was. It had been so long since I had even given her a thought that I didn't even remember her name. I was pleasant and tried to be friendly but I was still on edge just being near her.

She had explained to me that her husband divorced her, that she had a family tragedy that removed her from town for 2 years, she was unable to support herself so she was living with a guy because she was still recovering from skin cancer on her forehead.... I could go on but I won't.

The part that freaked me out was the fact that she KNEW about several things in my life that have happened POST layoff.

The first thing she did was congratulate me on the birth of my daughter.

Now, how in the heck would she know about that??

She also knew I had gotten married and that I married Charlie. Somewhere, somehow, she knows someone who knows me as well. I find it odd, though, that I have been completely unaware of this mutual friend all this time.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Right now....

I'm scared of what my future holds for me.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Watch out world.....

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I've Got Teeth!

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Does this happen to you?

I never know what to do in an uncomfortable situation.

You know that moment..... You walk into a room where people are talking and they suddenly stop, look at you, and say nothing. Of course you notice and sort of stop in your tracks.

Do you keep walking, do you retreat, what do you do?

Every little thing is just magnified to the millionth degree. Your mind is racing, nervous habits and tendencies make themselves known and you are painfully aware of everything.

My shoe is making a noise with each step I take..... I can hear a whistle in my nose as I exhale..... I hope my capri pants don't make me look fat..... My hair is looking kind of flat at the moment, why oh why didn't I put a little gel in it this morning.... Why are they staring at me!! I should just leave right now......

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