I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Saturday, July 31, 2010

"It's only creepy when they tap me on the shoulder."

Just how is it that the skinniest of people are usually the ones who eat the most?

I would kill to be one of those people.

I look at a piece of cheesecake and I gain 10 lbs., 20 if I give it a whiff.

A skinny guy with an arm load of junk food and drinks remarked to me today, "I hope this is enough to get me to Detroit."

"I'm pretty sure that's enough. How many people are you traveling with?" I couldn't help but chuckle to myself as I said this. On the counter before me sat a fountain pop, a Brisk raspberry iced tea, 2 king sized peanut butter cup packages, a bag of popcorn, a bag of beef jerky, a Monster energy drink, a fruit pie, and a package of donuts.

"Just me and a dead lady."

"I don't think I want to know any more about this dead lady," WTF??? Did he really say dead lady?? I glanced back at the guy immediately in line behind Snack Food Guy. He is staring at me, with I'm certain the same 'deer in the headlights' I was giving him.

"Really, I am driving a hearse. I don't think she'll be eating much but she's an excellent listener." It is now Snack Food Guy's turn to chuckle. Glancing out into the parking lot, sure enough, I see a big black hearse parked next to pump 3.

"Holy crap! Thank God! I thought you were a murder or something!" The guy in line behind the Snack Food Guy is now cracking up.

I had no idea people in the funeral business were so funny.

Snack Food Guy literally had me in stitches as he joked and told stories about his business.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A Guy Named Jeff

Jeff showed up at the station again today. I know I'm making way too much out of this, but I just think it's so unnerving.

In case you don't know who Jeff is, I'll enlighten you.

Imagine an 18 year old Sherri who has just moved to Gaylord. Young, and clueless, she starts dating a guy named Jeff who she had originally thought had a crush on Jessica, but it turned out she was incorrect.

Now, imagine an already sexually active Jeff, as he begins dating Sherri.

The poor guy didn't know what was in store for him.

I'll never forget the first date we had. We sat in his car, outside Jessica's house, and talked for a little while. He had leaned in to kiss me, and I start to laugh. Hysterically. Utterly and completely humiliatingly hysterical laughter.

We did end up getting a kiss in, a peck on the lips, but I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live.

I ended up dumping Jeff, only a few weeks later, because I just wasn't ready to have that adult of a relationship with him. Now, 18 years later, this guy has entered my life again.

Via the shell station.

One of these days he's going to have to break down and say something to me. I've seen his kids, his friends, and his bad habits. I can't wait to see what his wife looks like, she has yet to be on any of his visits.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Life on the 45th Parallel

How is it possible that everything has changed, yet nothing is really changed at all?

I don't know, but it is.

My life is so very different now, from the way it was when I first started this blog. No longer do I have the comfort and security of the job I once had, the one I had complained about so many times on here. Yet, I have a job. Definitely not as prestigious as my old job, but it is definitely a source of humor in my life.

I am a gas station employee, of all things.

No longer do I have just 2 boys, my preteen and my toddler. I now have a full fledged, license bearing teenage boy, an elementary school aged son, and a toddler daughter!!

I honestly don't know how I handle it all, but I do.

Working the night shift at the shell station has proven to be quite an experience, I must say. At 10:30 tonight two men came strolling in, practically scaring the hell out of me.

"Hey, maybe you can tell me, where is the closest 'adult' bar around here," guy number one says to me, not one shred of humility in sight.

"Adult? Like, topless?" I ask, a little shocked that this was even a topic of conversation.

"Well, yeah!" Guy number two has now eagerly joined the conversation.

"We don't have any topless bars around here, you're in 'the sticks'." I kind of chuckle to myself at the disappointment in these two guy's faces.

Are they serious??

"Well, I guess that's the price you pay for being in 'the sticks'. In Dallas we have 2 on every street corner." On that note, he turned on his heel, and headed for the restroom.

Now, I have to say, these guys were total rejects. Bald, sun burned and peeling, basket ball shorts with button down tops..... I could go on, but it would become redundant. I am left wondering if these two had intended on hiring a couple of girls to do, you know what.


Thank God we don't have any topless bars here in 'the sticks'. I would feel bad for the girls who ended up servicing these guys.

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