I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Just a Mom and her Kids

this is an audio post - click to play

If you're looking for quality and intrigue, you're not going to find it today. :P

Sorry folks, but I'm not feeling well today. For your entertainment purposes, here are my kids. It's funny, though, how Zach can talk your ear off any other time, but clams right up for this. LOL

Monday, January 30, 2006

Buried up to his back tires

Headed to work this morning I see a vehicle buried in the snowbank. Chuckling to myself as I approach, I see him standing in the road waving his arms. Mind you, it's still dark out, and I'm still a distance away, I can't tell who it is yet.

I approach slowly, almost rubbing it in, if they had been driving appropriately for the weather conditions this situation would not have happened.

The closer I get, the more familiar the vehicle becomes. Then, it hits me. It's my husband, standing in the center of the road, waving me down, because he has buried his jeep up to the back tires in the snowbank. I roll my window down as I slow to a stop "You look like you could use some help young lady, is that jeep a little bit much to handle?"

I killed his pride, but we laughed so hard. That is the exact phrase he said to me when I first got my jeep. As embarrassing as it is to admit, the first winter I drove my jeep, I must have spun out a million times.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I hate this winter!

It has rained all day again. I can't believe it's raining in the middle of January!

I stepped outside to start the jeep and nearly killed myself. My intentions were to go grocery shopping, I nearly ended up at the ER. The driveway was nothing but ice under 3 inches of water, I was no match.

I made it about 3 steps toward the jeep when my feet flew out from beneath me, landing me flat on my back, sliding down the driveway, eventually coming to a rest under my vehicle. I would have been ok if I hadn't smacked my head so hard, I'm pretty sure I could see hairs embedded in the ice as I crawled back to the steps.

Let's just say, I didn't get any grocery shopping done today.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

This weeks guest voice - Jessica

Everyone please thank Jessica for allowing me the opportunity to have her as my guest voice, and allowing me to post our ramblings below! What can I say, it's never a dull moment when we get together, there never has been a dull moment with the two of us.

The best way to turn back the hands of time is to get crazy with one of your oldest and best friends.

this is an audio post - click to play

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Tag, You're it!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think? OMG! My eyes are totally bloodshot!

2. How much cash do you have on you? $50 bill

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Arrest

4. Favorite planet? Earth

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Tom Johnson

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? I am a Rock - Simon and Garfunkle

7. What shirt are you wearing? Chocolate brown turtle neck sweater

8. Do you "label" yourself? I try not to

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing now? Union Bay

10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright eye piercing florescent light

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Damasta - she's awesome. :)

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? Don't do any text messaging.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11? On the other side of town by the funeral home.

16. What's a saying(s) that you say a lot? This place sucks!

17.Who told you they loved you last? My little guy when I dropped him off at daycare.

18. Last furry thing you touched? A piece of old cheese I found in the back of the fridge this morning.

19. How Many days of work did you miss this week? Been here every day.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? So many, I have lost count.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 25

22. Your worst enemy? I am my own worst enemy.

23. What is your current desktop picture? The picture of Thomas, from my blog, in the Winnie the Poo hat.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? All right! (cheering on Helen for finding a discrepancy on a broker component)

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose? A million bucks.

26. Do you like someone? I like lots of people.

27. The last song you listened to? Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits

28. Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson? Carmen, Pam has nasty taste in men.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Test For Dementia

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are. Ready? GO!!!

(scroll down)

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!

Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round: There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

Note: Embarrassing as it might be to admit, I got every singe question wrong! LOL

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Just Venting

I'm a bitter and resentful person tonight.

I hate my husband for all of the broken promises he has ever made to me over the years. I hate the fact that I left him once for 3 years and decided to give him another chance because he promised me he had changed. I hate myself for believing him.

I hate that I'm sitting here crying right now as I type this. I swear I'm not a bad person, all I ever wanted was a normal life. Of course, that can never happen because it was abnormal circumstances that brought us together.

I hate that I just don't know what to do.

Secret Confession

Helen has talked non stop this morning about Alex, the Banjo Picker's son. I'm ready to pierce my ear drums with my SMT tweasers.

I had to pretend to go to a meeting just to escape.

The Walls have Ears

I cut my bangs this morning. I don't normally do such crazy stuff, but I couldn't stand how long they had gotten. Chalk it up to a moment of frustration.

Anyway, I show up for work this morning and ask Julie and Helen how my bangs look, then explain to them how I chopped them off in a moment of anger.

Whether or not they told me the truth, I have no idea, but they both said they looked fine.

About 10 minutes later, Joe heads around the corner and stands directly behind me, asking me if I would like some home made jerky. When I turned to speak with him he shouts "Oh My God! What happened to your bangs??" I almost died! I know I turned about 10 shades of red, my body temperature went through the roof.

"Oh my God, do they look that bad?" I was horrified. I thought he was serious. He was joking!! What a putz! He felt bad at this point and told me he was listening in to us talking and wanted to mess with me.

By now it's time for the production managers meeting, so we head in and take our seats. Keith and Jim are next through the door. Joe had gotten to them as well. In a room full of people Keith says to me "Who cut your bangs??" I wanted to kill Joe! Now everyone knows about my temper tantrum this morning resulting in me cutting my own hair.

Somehow I need to get even. I'm just not sure how yet.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Helen Fact of the Day

Helen is beside herself with glee today. Apparently the company I work for has hired the son of The Banjo Picker to work for us.

Yes, folks, I'm as serious as a heart attack. Helen has admitted to being a groupie for this guy. When I got back from lunch today, there she sat, just a smiling away, telling me it was in fact The Banjo Picker's son she heard paged earlier.

New Cell Phone

I can't believe how expensive these things are!! Like a fool, I've been letting my little guy play with my old one, and even lost it several times. It finally had enough and quit working on me, forcing me to go purchase a new one. Ugh!!

Up until this point I had always gotten a free phone with my contract renewel, so I never knew just how expensive they were. Let's just say, now that I know, this baby isn't going to be leaving my grasp.

this is an audio post - click to play


I'm so fricking mad at the moment I could just scream.

I went to the bank this morning to cash my husbands check. Something I've done a million times, no big deal. Only today, it was a big deal.

I get in line in the drive thru and send his check through. His name signed by him, and my name signed by me. The woman comes through and tells me I am not allowed to cash his check. In a hostile tone, I say to her, 'Why not?? I'm his wife, I've been doing this for years!' Apparently, because we do not have a joint deposit account I am not allowed to cash his check. So, I say to her 'Joint account?? We have a god damn mortgage together!'

By now, I'm totally hot. It's not like I'm out here in a ski mask with a voice synthesizer trying to fraudulently cash someone's social security check. I'm cashing my fricking husband's check because he is too lazy to drive into town and do it himself. 'Just send me the check back!' I say to her, I fully plan on driving all the way back home and having a discussion with my husband.

'I can't do that ma'am,' she replies.

'Why not??'

'This check belongs to Charles,'

'I don't have time for this bullshit right now, you either return that check or I'm going to have a nice little chat with your manager.'

'Send me your drivers license'

5 minutes later, assumedly after everyone under the sun has compared my drivers license to the crazy woman sitting behind the wheel of my jeep, the check and my drivers license are returned to me.

From this point forward, I will never again cash another one of my husbands checks.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The House on Springay Road

When I was in 9th grade we lived in a house that sat next to a pond, the only house on Springay Road at the time. It was a typical chalet style house with a walk out basement and wrap around porch, certainly nothing glamorous.

We had lived there for several months and gotten used to the seclusion the house held. It was seldom and far between that we seen a car pass the house, the road was not traveled often. My step dad at the time worked downstate during the week, coming home only on the weekends, leaving my mother, my brother, and I the only ones home.

My bedroom was in the walk out portion of the basement, a large 4' square window in the center of my room. During the day I could look out to the pond, look up and see the deck, look to the right and see the wood pile. Because we lived in such a secluded area, it was never even a consideration that I need a curtain in my window. Nobody could see in, I rarely ever changed in my room anyway. My brothers bedroom was on the other side of mine, facing the road, his only window one of the tiny rectangular windows that most basements have.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a hard sleeper, I can sleep through anything. Which can be a curse, as you will find out.

It was a night in the late fall, all the leaves had already fallen from the trees. I was snuggled up in my bed when my mother had come barreling into my room with a gun. At first thought as I opened my eyes I thought she was going to kill me. She was yelling for me to go upstairs as fast as I could. Someone was banging on my bedroom window, she was screaming. I was too terrified to move, she yanked me off the bed, I fell with a thud onto the cement floor, scrambling to my feet.

I made it to the stairs and my brother was yelling for me to hurry. He was at the top of the stairs looking out the window, someone was just outside that window too. Running up the stairs and into my mom's room, I shut the door just as I heard the gun shot. Picking up the phone, I hit the number for directory assistance. We didn't have 911 at that time yet, I asked for the police, I told the woman our house was being broken into. She began to ask a question as the second gunshot went off. I have no idea who I was talking to, but I kept telling them our house was being broken into. I could hear them banging on the upstairs front door now. I started to cry and couldn't stop.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs, I didn't know if they were my mother or not, I was scared stiff. Then it all just stopped. To this day I have no idea who they were or why they did what they did, but they never came back.

The police arrived after what seemed like an eternity. We each had to give our account of what happened. When the officer had asked me where I was when this happened, I explained how I had been sleeping. He looked through my window, then went outside and shined his light a bit. Outside my window were several unexplained cigarette butts, someone had stood there and smoked, watching me sleep. Out in the front yard someone had cut the tires on my moms car and blocked our dog into the dog house. The officer told my mom she was lucky, he felt certain if she hadn't done what she had done with the gun it could have ended badly.

Sitting here now thinking about this still makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

As stupid as this may sound, now, at the time I was convinced they were devil worshippers. I was so naive to the world! I couldn't understand why someone would break into our house, we didn't have anything of value, I didn't understand what they could possibly be after.

It really saddens me to know there are such sick people out there. And, you never know who they may be. The most normal person could be a secret monster.

What brings this up tonight? Well, it just popped into my mind as I listened to Zach tell Charlie about a guy who pulled up into the driveway in a car with one headlight. Apparently he didn't get out of the car, he just sat there watching Zach and Hank. (Hank is a rotweiler) I immediately turned to Zach and asked him why in the heck he didn't say something to one of us. He just shrugged his shoulders and said the guy backed out and drove away after a minute. I hate to admit it, but it scared me. It could have been something as simple as a guy who is lost and trying to find his way, but what if it was someone who was up to no good?

I still can't believe he didn't say anything to anyone. It bothers me. I thought I had raised him to be more cautious then that. Sometimes I can't help but wonder, what in the heck is wrong with that kid?

How cute is this??

 Posted by Picasa

Saturday, January 21, 2006


Bored on a Saturday. Is there anything worse?

Friday, January 20, 2006

The Nine Layers of My Onion

Because I don't have an original or creative bone in my body today, I have stolen this from Damasta.

Layer One

Name: Sherri
Birthdate: May 18, 1974
Birthplace: Tennessee
Current Location: Michigan
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Reddish brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Sun Sign: Taurus
Innie or Outtie: Innie

Layer Two

Your heritage: 1/4 Irish (I'm an O'Rourke), 3/4 ????? (God only knows)
The shoes you wore today: Brown boots
Your hair: Shoulder length, wavy
Your eyes: Mesmorizing :D
Your weakness: Bying stuff on sale. Who cares if I need it, it's on sale!
Your fears: I'm not a good enough parent, I don't do my job effectively at work, my jeep will break down when I'm totally unprepared.
Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni and bacon, extra cheese.
One thing you'd like to achieve: Finish getting my degree.

Layer Three

Your most overused phrase: Oh My God
Your first waking thoughts: What time is it?
The first features you notice in the opposite sex: Eyes and smile.
Your best physical feature: Smile
Your bedtime: Whenever I end up falling asleep.
Your greatest fear: Death
Your greatest accomplishment: The moment I discovered I had made it, without anyone's help what-so-ever.
Your most missed memory: I try not to think about my childhood, but I do miss the good memories from that time.

Layer Four

Single or group dates: Married..... so, no dates. LOL
Adidas or Nike: Nike
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Mt. Dew
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

Layer Five

Smoke: Nope.
Cuss: Yes, I sometimes make my husband mad when I do.
Take a shower everyday: Absolutely!
Been in love: I think so.
Went to college: I started, but didn't finish.
Liked high school: I hated high school.
Believe in yourself: Sometimes
Type with your fingers on the right keys: Yes
Think you're attractive: I'm average, not beautiful, not ugly either.
Think you're a health freak: No, I'm probably the opposite of health freak.
Get along with your parents: No. I come from an extremely dysfunctional family.
Play an instrument: I wish!

Layer Six

In the past month, did you...

Drink alcohol: Rum and Coke on New Years Eve
Smoke: No
Do a drug: Tylenol
Make Out: Maybe LOL
Go on a date: Dates are for the unmarried, unfortunately
Eat an entire box of Oreos: No
Eat sushi: No
Been on stage: Yes, at Zach's Christmas play, I went up on stage and gave him a hug.
Been dumped: No, but I came extremely close to doing some dumping.
Gone skating: No
Made homemade cookies: Yes, and they were yummy!
Fall in love: No
Go skinny dipping: No
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen anything: No

Layer Seven

Have you ever...

Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes :D
If so, was it mixed company: Yes :o
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh my, more then I care to admit.
Been caught doing something: Yes.
Been called a tease: Yes.
Gotten beaten up: No, thank God, nobody has ever wanted to kick my ass.
Shoplifted: No
If so, did you get caught: No
Changed who you were to fit in: No, I hate it when people do that. It has made me unpopular at times.

Layer Eight

Age you hope to be married: Already married. I was 27.
Numbers and Names of Children: 2, Zachary and Thomas
Describe your Dream Wedding: I was married in Las Vegas, but my dream wedding was to be married on the white sand beaches of Mexico.
How do you want to die: I don't want to die.
What do you want to be when you grow up: A Solid Gold Dancer. LOL
What country(ies) would you most like to visit: Australia, Ireland, and Mexico

Layer Nine [Thank God]

Number of men I have kissed: 6
Number of boyfriends you've had: 3
Number of drugs taken illegally: 0
Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
Number of CD's that I own: 37
Number of piercings: 3 in my left ear, 3 in my right ear
Number of tattoos: 0
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Too many to count.
Number of scars on my body: 1 major one, c-section, 3 very tiny almost unnoticable ones
Number of things in my past that I regret: No regrets, it's because of them I am who I am today.

I can't feel my feet....

Shopping with Sandy is quite possibly the hardest exercise I've had in weeks. OMG! Did I make it home in one piece??

She gives new meaning to the phrase "power shopping". I'm pretty sure I looked at every single thing in the Grand Traverse Mall today.

5 things I noticed at the mall
  1. The people working in the food court scare me. I'm fairly certain I saw the guy who cleaned the table next to ours on America's Most Wanted last saturday.
  2. Teenage mothers should be forced to endure the same treatment they dish out to their babies. Not positive, but I don't think they would like to be stuffed in a walker all day while their children hung out with friends and totally ignored them.
  3. The benches in the mall were put there for old men to sit and stare at you as you come and go from shop to shop.
  4. The colder the weather is outside, the less clothing todays youth wear.
  5. It's impossible for me to pass the cookie stand without buying a cookie. After which, I need to stop at the Orange Julious stand to get something to drink.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Helen's Love Horoscope

I know too much!!

Between the heaving emotions and the fiery flirtations, I couldn't help but laugh as she read on. She then admitted she had plans to go to dinner tomorrow with one of her 'friends'. I asked her if she was going to be getting any action. She says "I'm sure he'll want to play with my....." I had to stop her! I didn't want to know any more! The she finished "delsimer".

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The upper Crust has come to visit

(Yesterday's Dilbert)

The CEO of our corporation is in house today. He rarely ever visits, something must be up.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Freezing Rain Tuesday

The roads are horrible! I'm somewhat afraid to even drive home today.

I'm sure I just knocked 5 years off my life expectancy, added another layer of cholesterol to my
arteries, and possibly put myself one step closer to needing a crane to remove myself from my home one day after I die.

I don't know what's more life threatening, driving on the ice roads or eating from the cafeteria vending machine. I may end up passed out cold from food poisoning this afternoon, but at least I didn't kill myself on the ice covered roads.


How is it that a balding man can be so hairy? What a horrible twist of ironic circumstance! I was talking to Scott this morning about a prototype board that will be coming in today, and God help me, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking about that.

He's a super nice guy, don't get me wrong. But he's so fricking hairy! The hair on his arms extends way down to cover a portion of the top of his hands, he even has a few renegade hairs growing on his fingers. That's why I find it so unbelievable that his hairline has started to recede.

It's almost like a double curse. A balding sasquatch.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Oh Crap

I would hate to be this guy.

Helen Moment of the Day

One of the engineering associates came to the area to look at a pcb this morning. When he left, Helen looks at me and says "Ooooh, he's handsome!"

I almost died! Little Helen was scoping him out. I looked over at her, and laughed. I couldn't help it.

"Hey, just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't look," she says, with a mischievous smile on her face.

She is definitely one to keep me on my toes!

Fashion Question of the Day

I picked these jeans up last weekend, they had immediately caught my eye. This morning, however, as I was dressing, the thought struck me, are they too over the top? Will I show up at work resembling a Spicegirl in training? Keep in mind, as you decide, that flower design ends just below where the picture ends.

OK folks, give me your thoughts.

(I have purposely cropped my head out of the photo just in case, we don't need any photo proof that I wore these jeans to work.)

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Something is amiss

Am I the only one out there experiencing problems with blogger? I'm not receiving my email notifications anymore from posted comments. I'm also posting comments that totally disappear.

Perhaps I've somehow messed up my blog with all the polls and additional things I've added? Whatever has happened, I wish things would go back to normal.

Is it an unreal expectation?

I admit, I do spend quite a bit of time on my appearance. Ensuring my hair looks good, that my makeup is just right, that my outfit is flattering. I guess, in my mind, I do it because of my husband. I want him to be proud to be with me, I want him to feel I am attractive.

Is it an unreal expectation to expect him to do the same for me? I can't understand why he would not want to try to look pleasing to me. Just because you get married it doesn't mean you don't have to shave anymore, or run a comb through your hair.

Note to men out there who may be reading this: when you take the time to look more appealing to your wife/girlfriend, you will definitely 'get lucky' more often.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

My Mother's Twin

No, my mother doesn't actually have a twin, but there is a woman who lives in Gaylord that looks so much like my mother it's unreal. In fact, I seen her at Wal Mart today, and literally thought it was my mother.

I first seen her about 10 years ago when I worked at Wal Mart. It's absolutely uncanny just how much she resembles my mother, right down to her mannerisms and appearance. The one characteristic that they do not share is eye color. Oddly enough, this woman's name is Sherry, and here eye color is blue. My mother has green eyes.

Sherry had started working at Wal Mart at the same time I did, I worked in shoes, she in jewelry. I had many conversations with Sherry over the course of the year that I worked there, not once did I mention how much I felt she resembled my mother. I almost felt like I was observing her, researching the likenesses and differences.

When I seen her in the store today, I have to admit, I immediately began observing her once again, to see how she had changed in the years that had passed.

The Results are In

How did you ring in the New Year?

14% of you went to bed early.
50% of you watched movies and had a few drinks at home.
36% of you partied the night away with a small gathering of friends.

An honorable mention goes to Ranger Tom who had to work on New Years Eve this year.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this weeks online poll! I, myself, had stayed home, watched movies, and drank way too much. LOL

As always, don't forget to check out this weeks online poll.

He's been corrupted!

So cute I had to post this......

Sitting here smelling the perfume samples in my magazine, Thomas approaches saying "Let me smell mom, let me smell."

So, I thumb back to the one I had just looked at and and placed it by his nose. Taking a deep whiff, he says "Mmmm..... smells delicious mom." I couldn't help but laugh.

12 Friends Every Woman Should Have

  1. The friend who won't let you be less then your best, even if you sometimes want to kick her.
  2. The friend who's spent the holidays with your parents, gotten drunk with your brother and lived through the dog-spaying incident on '92. She's family.
  3. The personal comedian, so hilarious that you dare not call her while driving.
  4. The friend who's a little bit evil - so entertaining!
  5. A rich friend who will always buy you dinner.
  6. A poor friend who'll let you buy hers.
  7. The work friend: listener, knower of backstory, saver of sanity.
  8. The friend you can't wait to be Golden Girls with.
  9. The neighbor who'll lend you her drill - or a pair of red stillettos.
  10. The friend who drags out of you all the sexual details you're secretly dying to share.
  11. The friend who rafts the Amazon, gets a pet snake and does speed dating - so you don't have to.
  12. The friend who, instead of asking how she can help, just shows up and does.

Found this list on page 234 of the February issue of Glamour. Hope you found this as entertaining as I did!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Chili anyone??

This joke forwarded from Joe! I laughed so hard Keith could hear me laughing at his desk.

Texas Chili Contest

If you can read this whole story without laughing then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the> chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. The barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.


Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beermaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.


Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. I can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.


Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

Thursday, January 12, 2006

'The Island'

"Human clones mean for harvesting fight back in this sci-fi thriller set in the mid 21st century."

Very good movie! I don't usually like this kind of stuff, but I really liked it. Lots of action, plenty of suspense, a little romance, cool toys, this movie has it all.

It's kind of freaky, in a way, to imagine being able to buy your own clone to harvest for body parts and such.

Humans Thrive on Conflict

I'm absolutely certain of it. Have you noticed how people get a gleam in their eye even at the hint that something is amiss? How they continue to stir the pot when they know they have touched a nerve? How their voice becomes louder and more aggressive when they think they have pointed out a flaw or weak point in someone else?

I'm having a bad day today, not because of anything anyone has said or done, but because I'm just sick of dealing with people. There is never a happy medium ever, one person will always love you and another will hate your guts for the exact same reason.

I can't help it, but I get irritated with people asking me 50 million fricking questions a day because they don't trust their own judgment. I should feel honored, but I don't.

I can't help it, but I get frustrated at some of the people who work for me. Open your eyes chick! The world does not revolve around you, I don't care that you don't want to move your desk because you won't be the center of attention, you're not that wonderful! You're greedy, selfish, loud, and really not that attractive.

I can't help it, but I could care less whether or not someone out on the floor may or may not be getting a divorce. Who cares?? I don't want to be the center of someone's gossip circle, I'm sure he doesn't either.

As I sit here now, typing my thoughts, I can hear 2 of the receivers furiously trying to outdo each other for the Quality Engineer. Each of them battling over who can speak the loudest and put forth the most information in the smallest amount of time.

Maybe it's just me, I just don't fit in with everyone else. The thoughts that travel through my mind are never the same as anyone else's, I never see anything the same way as everyone else.

One last thing that bugs me, I can never pick out that image in those 3-D pictures either!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The 2005 Second Quarter QSR

Went off without a hitch. (For me) Thank God!!

Dave totally froze during his portion. In fact, he actually said, "I have no idea how to interpret this chart." What the heck?? That's why we get these things in advance, so we can research!

All I can say is, I'm so glad my portion is always the first to be done. There is nothing better then getting it done and over with so I don't have to sit through the next 2 hours riddled with anxiety and unable to think about anything but how nervous I am.

Spicegirl has been bedazzled!

The roads were terrible, again!! What's up with this rain in the middle of January?? If it hadn't been for the presentation, I would have stayed home. Ugh!

Spicegirl came back this morning to make sure I made it in to work today, for the QSR. In her usual fashion, her costume jewelry and bedazzled blazer were a sight to see. The sequined tank top beneath the blazer really pulled the outfit together.

Spicegirl and I have a somewhat strained relationship, dating to 'way back when' events that occurred between the two of us. I pretend that I don't even remember anymore, I'm sure she does as well, but I still do remember like it was yesterday.

4 years ago when I was still a planner working for the production control manager and she was a business manager for one of our accounts she had made a comment that I will likely never forget. It had infuriated me at the time and really hurt me. I was sitting in Bob's office (my then boss) in the middle of a meeting between him and I and one other person. Spicegirl had paged me so Bob called her back, putting her on speaker phone. When she had answered the phone Bob said "What do you need Sherri for? I've got her,"

"What are you doing, fucking her?" was the response back from her. I was pissed! Ok, I'm in the room, another individual was in there too, I was not screwing him nor have I ever done anything like that ever, and his door was wide open for anyone in the bull pen to hear the comment.

"You're on speaker phone and Sherri, Ed, and I are all in a meeting at the moment," was Bob's response back. She laughed. I got up and left the room. Words cannot describe how mad I was at that moment. To this day she has never apologized to me, the incident was just swept under the rug.

You would think after this many years have passed that I wouldn't get upset when I think about the comment, but I do. It was really a blow to my intelligence and my caliber or person. Perhaps in her world she had slept with her bosses to get where she was, but, I have more respect for myself then that.

It really sucks, sometimes, that I work for a company that is just absolutely corrupt with this kind of stuff.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

What has gotten into that kid?

I have an 11 year old that thinks he is 45, I swear to God. Whatever happened to the days where the parent told the kids what to do and they did what they were asked? Apparently, those days are long past.

I'm sure it is mostly my own doing, but my son literally thinks he can come and do as he pleases. Chores?? Surely, you jest. When I have finally forced him to take out the trash he hides it around the corner of the house. How did I raise such a lazy kid?? I ask myself that all the time.

Zachary had intermurals today, he was to stay after school and participate with whatever the heck kind of sport they were going to do. So, like a good mom, I left work and drove to the school, waiting in the parking lot for him. I waited and waited, he never appeared. After almost all of the parents had picked their kids up and left I headed into the school to see if he was inside. No sign of him. By now I was furious. The little snot went home on the bus and not once did he try to call me to tell me he was not at the school.

An hour later, after I had picked Thomas up from daycare, I finally made it home to find Zach outside riding his bike. He 'forgot' he was supposed to stay after school. This is the kid that can remember that 2 months earlier I mentioned I might like to rent a certain movie at the movie store but he can't remember 6 hours ago I told him not to ride the bus home to stay after school. I wanted to kill him.

I ended up sending him to his room. He knew exactly what he had done, in fact, he smiled when he told me he 'forgot'. I literally wanted to just kick his cocky little pain in the ass butt!

How in the heck could he have changed so drastically in such a short period of time? I don't think I'm going to make it through the teen years alive!

Monday, January 09, 2006

What is your seduction style?

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.

The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately.

You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.

A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

Thanks Big Momma for posting this neat little quiz on her site

Who are they kidding??

Is it just me, or is 'The Bachelor' the most ridiculous thing on TV?

First, who really falls in love on 4 dates with someone you've never met before? How crazy is that? I lived with my husband for 8 years and still wasn't sure I wanted to marry him.

Second, how convenient the guy is usually richer then rich. Do you think, possibly, those women are after only one thing....... $$$$$$$$

Third, do those women have no self respect? For God's sake, the entire nation is watching them behave like idiots on TV.

Fourth, and last, have you noticed that none of these bachelors have ever made it to the alter?

Ok, so here's my idea for a reality TV show. The camera crew follows around me on my normal day to day activities. Good, bad, and ugly, now that's reality. Normal person with normal problems and a normal job doing normal stuff. Yeah, it does sound kind of boring, doesn't it. But, that's reality, isn't it.

2nd Quarter QSR

I'm frustrated beyond belief at the moment. Here I am, in the first quarter of 2006, trying to compile information for the 2nd quarter 2005 QSR. It's next to impossible. Almost a year has gone by and they now finally decide to do the presentation.

I have 18 charts to talk to. It might as well be a million, I'm not current with what happened last year to make the receipt trend go down in the month of May, or why the incoming acceptance rate went drastically down in June. Ugh!!!

Wish me luck, the VP of operations is in house for the QSR.

Production Managers Gone Wild

What does Jim, a gold speedo, a table cloth, and a calendar have in common?

Why, the next endeavor for the Production Managers Gone Wild. The latest idea is to create a calendar complete with each production manager assigned to a month.

So far:

  • January - Me - I'm standing, presumably scantily clad, in a pile of paperballs.
  • February - Keith - Not yet decided, leaning toward posing Keith on the hood of his bus wearing a beer can and a nascar hat.
  • March - Deb - Yet to be determined.
  • April - Barb - Yet to be determined.
  • May - Jim - Jim in the buff and a pair of roller skates. His goal, to be the first human pull toy.
  • June - Tammy - nobody really wants her in the calendar! So far the only input was to drape the table cloth from the Huron room over her. Yikes!
  • July - Jeff - Just Jeff and a Hawaiian shirt, nothing else. Maybe a pineapple.
  • August - Connie - Yet to be determined.
  • September - Carrie - Carrie will be running free, free of everything but soccer shoes that is.
  • October - Rick - Rick has graciously offered to pose suggestively in a back side baring thong for the 'Harvest Moon'. (I must mention Rick is a very large man.)
  • November - Ed - Ed sits inside his dogsled snugly nestled away in a speedo and bear skin coat.
  • December - Joe - Joe poses in a gold speedo and snowmobile helmet with one leg propped up on the snowmobile.

This should help to boost employee morale around here!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Leave it to Maxine......

I absolutely know the feeling today. I have spent the entire day in my pajamas, a little sick to my stomach, conserving energy by moving only when necessary.

Note to self: Do not eat cookies if you think you have the flu.

My 700th Post

Yeah, I can't believe I've posted that many entries myself! My original site counter is at 10,578 site views!

I've been wide awake since 5am this morning. In today's dream Thomas turned up missing. Only, in my dream, he wasn't my son, I was just helping the search party look for him. I was out in a boat with someone else when I seen a pair of hands floating in the water. I knew immediately they were his. That was when I woke up.

In my dreams my kids are never my kids. They always belong to someone else. I rarely ever even dream about them, it bothers me.

Must have been all those cookies I ate last night before bed.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

What do you do when it's 8:00 at night, nothing is on TV, and the kids are going stir crazy?? Why, make cookies of course!

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Little does he know, I did see him sneaking cookie dough out of the bowl and eating it!

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All right...... who's the wiseguy who took my picture in my pj's??

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How am I doing Mom?

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Say Cookies!!!!

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The Joys of Being a Parent

Don't they look so sweet?? Those are my boys, sitting side by side on Christmas morning, working together to open all of their gifts from Santa.

Too bad that peaceful contented brotherly bond only exists about 3 minutes a year!!

I still recall how smart I thought I was, having Thomas 8 years after Zachary was born. I was certain I had outsmarted the system. I wouldn't have to worry about kids fighting over things and sibling rivalry, there was way too much of an age difference.

I was so wrong!! I am here to say it only gets worse the bigger the age difference. The oldest one will forever resent the youngest one for taking away his parents undivided attention. And the youngest one, he will always be trying to foil the oldest ones plans, no matter what they might happen to be.

It still amazes me how my 11 year old and 3 year old find things they can fight over. 'Thomas is drinking pop Mom', 'Zach hit me', 'Thomas is getting into the cupboard', 'Zach took my toy'. It literally drives me insane!!

Yet, they can do such cute things, when nobody is looking, of course. Like, Thomas giving Zach the rest of his candy bar. Or, Zach putting Thomas on his lap so he can watch a DVD on his portable DVD player.

Being a parent is the most amazing thing. I'm amazed I haven't gone clinically insane, amazed my kids haven't killed each other yet, and amazed that I was able to create something so special to me. Posted by Picasa

Only at Wal Mart

  • can you encounter a million sales associates and not one of them is able to help you find what you are looking for.
  • will you be able to buy bread crumbs and dog treats in the same isle.
  • are you fought over by those crazy free sample people trying to sell you Total Corn Flakes and Dannon yogurt drinks.
  • can you buy a pack of cigarettes, a case of beer, an R rated DVD, and get carded for a can of whipped cream. Swear to God!!!
  • does the door greeter give you the evil eye when you step through the door.
  • do grown adults fight over the last dry shopping cart in the lobby.
  • can you get your hair cut, nails done, oil changed, pictures taken, and eat at Subway if you're hungry.
  • do I tell myself I'm never coming back, and I always do.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Funny for the day!

"You look like you just strolled in from the strip club."

One of my good friends was told this, this morning, upon arriving at work. The friend will remain nameless, and so will the production manager who said it.

I didn't quite know what to say to her. She was angry, of course, that someone would say something like that to her. I felt it was an inappropriate comment myself, but she really did look like she had just stopped in from a strip club.

Don't get me wrong, this person is my friend, whether she looks like a hoochie or not, she is still my friend. It bothers me that she never used to look like such a skank. She was a very classy and elegant woman, always took the time to ensure her appearance was tasteful. Not anymore. Now a days she comes in smelling like an ash tray that has been doused in cologne, tops that show more cleavage then Anna Nicole Smith, jeans so tight she has developed a bladder infection, and her make up always looks smeared.

Why the drastic change?? Last July she started seeing a new guy, a younger guy because she will only date younger men. This new boyfriend likes her to dress skanky and act slutty, in fact, he laughed and called her a 'Milf' one day. From that point on I couldn't stand him. It was apparent he only seen one thing in her, and it wasn't her charming personality and kind ways. I don't know what she sees in him, to be honest, I could never be with a guy who would tell her friend right in front of her that he "shaves his pubes". Yep, that is correct, he did tell me that little tidbit of information. I look at her, and she laughs, and says 'I don't know why..... It's not like I go down there at all......'

Red flags waving everywhere here!!! Ok, he's shaving down there for some reason, if not for you, then someone else! I had to walk away. I was not going to continue on with that conversation.

I feel troubled though. I want to tell her I feel she's headed down a path of self destruction, but it really isn't any of my business. She is my friend either way, I just want her to go back to the way she was. Such an internal conflict.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

10 Things that happened to me today

  1. A sock fell out of my sweater when I took my coat off at work today. A sock!! How did I not notice a sock was stuck to it while getting dressed???
  2. Laughed so hard I choked when Jim said he was going to beat Jeff until the pineapples flew off his hideous Hawaiian shirt.
  3. Walked past a man that not only reeked of Vick's but BO at the same time. Ack!!!!
  4. Had a conversation with Bill while I was standing in the doorway to the woman's restroom. What's wrong with this man?? Can't he see I have things to attend to??
  5. Spilled Mt. Dew all over myself when Jim nailed me in the eye with a paperball.
  6. Received an email from Dave that had little images of Chili Peppers all over it. This is his new method of letting me know when something is critical.
  7. Discovered there is a woman who lives near Julie who has birthed 16 children and is pregnant yet again.
  8. Talked with an engineer who's breath smelled like puke. I thought I was going to pass out. Yuck!
  9. Broke a nail so badly the tear is in the pink part of my nail bed. I can't even cut the nail, I have to wait for it to grow out before I can take care of the catch.
  10. Discussed septic tanks with Julie and Helen. Now, that's a conversation I don't want to have again!

Helen fact of the day:

Helen has 13 brothers and sisters, 9 step brothers and sisters, and 2 half brothers and sisters. That's 24 kids!! I was shocked!

Then she told me she belongs to a religion that is a branch from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

She belongs to a form of a Mormon religion.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Just shoot me and put me out of my misery

My head is aching, literally aching. It kind of feels like it's throbbing at my temples. I hate it when I get headaches like this. I just want to lay down somewhere and sleep. UGH!

I mentioned to the IT guy that I would like to rearrange the receiving department sometime this month. Within a half hour he was back in the department discussing possible lay outs. It hurts to even process rational thought.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The last time I saw her, gravel was pelting my bare legs as she sped away from me in the K-Mart parking lot in Grayling.

Today is my mom's 53rd birthday. I haven't spoken to my mother since June when she and I drove to Florida to be with my brother after Susan's death. That was absolutely the most horrible road trip I have ever taken in my entire life. Her car had no air conditioning, none what so ever. I literally thought I was dying at a couple of points. I become absolutely positively miserable when it is too hot. My face turns red, I get sick to my stomach, my eyes become blood shot, and I literally want to die.

Needless to say, my mother and I did not get along at all during this trip. In fact, she sent me a nice little letter with profanity written all over the outside of the envelope for all to see. I will never understand how I could come from someone like her.

I guess it just proves that anything is possible.

In Today's Production Managers Meeting

So many conversations, so many laughs. Not one of them even remotely related to work, yet they were so informative!

Jim went into a tangent about a woman he referred to as 'Harmonica Mary'. Apparently she had dated several of his friends when they were much younger, she was absolutely beautiful. She held some sort of spell over these guys, no matter how much the guys were warned they still dated her, all of them ending in disaster. She was an absolute psycho, much like Glen Close's character on 'Fatal Attraction'.

When the men would finally receive the wake-up call from their dream world and realize Mary was insane, it was too late. She was outside their apartment door at 3 am serenading them on the harmonica. Restraining orders and threatening police visits were no deterrent to 'Harmonica Mary'. She continued on until she happened across a new suitor to capture her attention.

That was when it hit me. It made perfect sense, it was a very possible situation. 'Harmonica Mary' had to of, at one time, found a man crazy enough to marry her and have children. Those children would have grown up and needed to work. I suddenly threw out on the table the idea that the exec. secretary had to be 'Harmonica Mary's' evil spawn. We were in fact dealing with 'Office Supply Julie', better watch out, or you'll wake up to a post it note on your forehead telling you she's going to kill you.

Monday, January 02, 2006

For the 9 millionth fricking time.....

I left my purse on the counter at the store! One of these days it's going to get ripped off! I can't believe I did it again today. Totally embarrassing, especially since I had to describe it to the store manager in order to get it back. Zachary just stood there, and when she brought it out to me, he said "yeah, that's it. I can't believe you forgot your purse again." I looked at him, kind of shocked. Then he says "Why don't you just get one with a big loop so you can wear it like a regular old person?" I wanted to laugh and kill him at the same time.

You know you're old when....... you're 11 year old tells you to act more like a regular old person.


Am I the only one out there creeped out by these things?

This morning I sat and watched a few PBS programs with Thomas and these things freaked me out. First of all, they don't talk. They hum and make weird noise. The narrator does all the talking. Second of all, they look weird. What's with the television in the stomach? How is that even close to being endearing. Third, and last, where is the plot to the show? What type of lesson is learned?

So, I sat there while he watched them, and he absolutely loves them. He laughed, he became excited, he kept pointing at the tv and saying "tubbies mom, tubbies". I felt as though I was missing out on something.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Years Eve 1988

Quite possibly the most memorable New Years Eve in my life.

My mom and stepdad were good friends with one of my stepdad's coworkers and his wife, we practically lived at their house on the weekends. Phil and his wife Kris were pretty hardcore alcoholics, but they were decent people. They had 3 kids, Dana, Cody, and Jamie. Dana was my age, Cody was my brothers age, and Jamie was 7.

On this particular New Years Eve, Phil and Kris and my mom and stepdad decided to ring in the new year at one of the bars in town, leaving us kids at Phil and Kris's to pretty much do as we wanted. I was the oldest, I was 14, and everyone in that house looked up to me for a good time. Superman was playing on TV and we were antsy with anticipation. I needed to come up with a plan.

I grabbed the donut sticks out of the cupboard and a bag of pretzels that we had brought over and asked Cody where his dads beer was. He ran out to their Jeep and brought it in the house. Dana started calling all of the neighbor kids to find out what they were up to. We were going to have our own party.

I wish I could remember some of the names of the kids who came. Most of them I never seen again after that night, but we sure had some fun. Dana and I ended up being the only girls there, I'm quite certain our parents would have killed us had they known. Nothing sexual happened, just some underaged beer drinking and lots of dirty jokes were told about 'the hairy root'.

I sit back now and think about how grown up I felt on that night, and how adult I thought we all were. To me, at that time, sitting around, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes was pretty much as grown up as you could be. I didn't know any different, I was raised by a chain smoking pill popping woman who had begun to drink too much and was slowly going out of control.

At midnight we sent everyone home and stacked the empties back in the cardboard and set it on the porch. Everyone was piled into Dana's tiny little bedroom when Phil and Kris got back. I could hear Phil talking about how he couldn't believe he and my stepdad had drank all that beer, it just didn't seem like they'd had that many. I couldn't stop laughing, anyone who knows me in real life knows how much I laugh. Phil popped his head in the door to ask us all if we'd had a good evening. We just laughed and shook our heads. If only they knew.

As he was walking away I heard him telling Kris how we were a great bunch of kids. All in all, he had it right on, we were good kids.

The Results are In

If you were a milkshake, what flavor would you be?

10% of you would be Chocolate
14% of you would be Vanilla
67% of you would be Strawberry
10% of you would be other

Hmmmm..... that's a lot of strawberries! If I were a milkshake, I would have to be chocolate because I love chocolate.

Thanks to everyone who participated in my online poll! Don't forget to check out this weeks poll.

Happy New Year

Hope you all had a safe and fun New Years celebration!

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