I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Happy Friday!!

Because I promised W.C. Jack and Trée a little cleavage.....

Fuck Off and Die Thursday

Yes, everyone, it is once again time for Fuck Off & Die Thursday! I have had one hell of a week this week, horrible from start to finish, it will be hard to keep the list within reason, but, here goes:

  1. The woman at the register who raced to get in line ahead of me at Wal Mart yesterday. You know who you are, you had the full to the top shopping cart watching me, and my nearly empty shopping cart, as I headed toward an employee waving me in to her empty check out. You can just FO&D for sneaking in from the side and cutting me off. I should have just pushed my cart into the back of your ankles. Or, should I say, cankles.
  2. The people who thought up the ridiculous Sprite commercials. If I have to watch one more 'Limon' commercial I may just go postal.
  3. The people who flick their cigarettes on the ground by doorways. Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?? What the hell? I'd hate to see what your house looks like.
  4. People who waste my time in stupid meetings. Just because you show up 10 minutes late to your own meeting, it DOESN'T mean you are important, it just means you are unable to tell time. Just because you call a meeting it DOESN'T mean you are smart, you have to actually have substance to fill that time slot. Just because you are talking, it DOESN'T mean I am listening, if I don't answer, you have wasted my time and I have mentally moved on to something worth thinking about.

    Interested in joining the FO&D bandwagon? Go here.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Cleavage in the Workplace

Thanks to today's stylish trends, I have been afforded the wonderful experience of flashing my exposed cleavage to 9 people in today's production managers meeting.


Leave it to the production managers to notify me now, 6 hours after the incident, that you could totally see down my top when I bent over to pick my pen up from the floor.

A personality test like you have never taken before....

Go ahead, give it a shot! You won't be disappointed. :D

I have to say that, surprisingly, the results from my test were pretty accurate.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Tent Worms and Cleaning Spray

Warning: the following story is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 3 plants and several tent worms were killed in the process of this story.

One of the hanging baskets on my deck had been looking sparse for days. Feeding and watering it seemed to be doing no good, I absolutely couldn't figure it out.

Finally, I could take it no longer, I unhooked the hanging basked and set it on the porch, hoping to get a good look at what was keeping my basked from flourishing like the rest.

What I seen will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

The basket was literally crawling with tent worm catipillars! I shrunk back in horror and disgust, my only thoughts were to flee from terror. Throwing rational thought to the wind, I ran into the house and grabbed the first spray thing I could find, a bottle of clorox cleaner.

Like a mad woman I sprayed the hell out of the hanging basket, watching as one by one the worms fell, writhing in pain. Feeling some sort of twisted accomplishment, I hung the basket back up and forgot all about the incident.

Until this morning, that is, when I discovered the lifeless, leafless petunia twigs sticking out of my hanging basket.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Happy Friday!!

Where do I git me one a dem dare contraptions!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Welcome to the world Kidney Bean

One of my oldest and most special friends has given birth to her first child today. I'm teary eyed just thinking about it, actually. It seems like just yesterday we were just in Mr. Rhines' algebra class picking on Matt Enders, and now today we are both married, myself with two kids, and now her with her own.

It's scary, and happy, and just a whole bunch of things all rolled into one.

For anyone who is reading this, please say a special prayer for the two of them. The kidney bean is in ICU at the moment due to complications at birth, and Jessica is recovering from a c-section.

(I'll leave the details to be announced by Jessica when she is home safely from the hospital and all is well.)

Fuck Off and Die Thursday

(I've totally stolen this from :P Fuzzbox, please be sure to stop by and see his list for today as well.)

I loved this idea the minute I seen it, I couldn't resist jumping on the bandwagon myself. There are so many people out there who I would love to see FO&D, I'll have to restrain myself to keep the list short.

  1. The teeny bopper wenches at Dairy Queen! What the hell!! When I specifically order 3 LARGE monster cookie blizzards, I want 3 large monster cookie blizzards. Don't just hand me 1 large and 2 mediums and expect me not to say anything, and, for Gods sake, don't ever tell me that, because you were too busy chatting about your coworker behind her back, it was my fault for being unclear. How confusing could I have been?? "I would like 3 large monster cookie blizzards." She was not very friendly toward me when I offered to rephrase myself because I didn't realize she was learning disabled. (She is NOT learning disabled, I was just being a bitch.)
  2. My work place nemesis, just because.
  3. Lazy people who do a half assed job. I'm so sick and tired of cleaning up other peoples messes. I also am infuriated by the people who can and should work for a living but live off the state, or more appropriately, the people out there who do go to work everyday to earn a living. It angers me that I work everyday to pay my bills and have a good life only to have people who live off the state complain to me that they only got a couple thousand back from income taxes last year, they should have gotten more. What the hell?? Income tax money? They didn't even work!!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Raspberry Jelly Donuts and Boobs

There's just something in the air these days, every conversation seems to be focusing on bras and boobs. (Removing clothing has come up quite a few times as well.)

I've decided I need to keep an eye out on Jim, he's up to no good. For some unknown reason he showed up at my desk today with 3 jelly donuts, one for Helen, Julie, and I. Now, any other person in the plant I would have probably accepted the donut and not thought twice about it, but for Jim, not the case. Jim always has a reason for everything he does. Somewhere down the line, he'll be telling me "remember those jelly donuts I brought you the other day? Well, this is what I need....."

So, I'll bet your wondering what that has to do with boobs, aren't you. Well, let me tell you.

After the jelly donut delivery I was called away from my desk for a while, my prediction earlier about the stressful day, absolutely on the nose! It has been the day from hell, not only is corporate in house, one customer is doing a surveillance audit, the other is briefing us on their quarterly review.

When I returned to my desk the area was empty, just me and the jelly donut. I take a few bites, read an email or two, and reach for my water. As I'm putting the donut back up to take a third bite a piece of frosting falls from the top of the donut down the front of my shirt and lands inside my bra. Ack!! The last thing I want is some crusty piece of frosting melting into my chest.

Assuming that I'm still entirely alone in the area, I reach my hand right down the front of my shirt and pull out the frosting before any damage could be done.

That's when I see him, the maintenance guy, smiling at me from one of the doors to my new inspection area! Totally busted, I smile and ask him if he wants a piece of frosting. I wanted to die. Red faced and smiling, he passed Julie on her way into the area, where I also sat red faced and laughing my head off.

Garage Sales and Cloth Hubcaps

I can tell it's going to be a stressful day when the production managers meeting slides downhill after only mere minutes.

Today is one of those days.

30 seconds into the meeting we were all discussing garage sales and giant bra's. I couldn't stop laughing because, for once, Jim was right! I've never been to a garage sale that didn't have giant women's underclothing folded neatly on a table somewhere.

Now, just where exactly do you find stuff like that? And, if you have found it, why would you buy it?? I once went to a yard sale at a very petite elderly woman's house who had an entire table covered with the stuff. Not to mention, if you don't have any intentions on wearing it, what makes you think anyone else will?

As usual the production manager meeting ended up being the most immature 45 minutes of my entire day. It's amazing how many uses you can think of for a giant bra when a group of managers brainstorm! Everything from cloth hubcaps to parasails.

Monday, June 19, 2006

A Letter from Governer Granholm

A while back we had a chain mail circulating that contained a petition we could sign concerning the high gas prices, something that would eventually be sent off to the president to 'raise awareness'.....etc. Many of us went to the site and signed the petition. I'm not sure why I did, but, I did.

Several months have gone by since I signed this thing, so, when I received the below email, I was kind of surprised by it, I had forgotten all about the petition!

Unfortunately, this isn't the only thing I've started receiving in my work email. Since the day I received the below email, I have also started receiving emails from someone named surouy@hardcocks.com.

This does not make me happy!! Do you think it is possible the scoundrels in the government have sold my work email address to telemarketers??

All I can say is, what the hell?? If the intention is to keep people involved and active with matters of government, this is definitely what NOT to do.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mass Mail [SMTP:massmail@mailex.michigan.gov]
Sent: Thursday, June 15, 2006 3:39 PM
Subject: Governor's Message

Dear Friend:

Thank you for taking time to sign our online petition to lower gas prices and make your voice heard. As we promised when you signed the petition, I recently sent your name and the names of 275,000 of your fellow citizens to President Bush. Our collective efforts have not gone unnoticed. Fellow governors, members of Congress, and media from around the country have contacted us to learn more about your efforts.

Unfortunately, while our collective voice is inspiring others to join the effort, the Bush Administration and leaders controlling Congress are still not listening. Since we began speaking out, the nation's four largest oil companies have announced another quarter of record profits - over $20 billion in three months. Congressional leaders have voted down efforts to repeal the nearly $10 billion in tax breaks they gave big oil companies last year, and President Bush has refused to support a cap on outrageous oil profits.

Until our leaders in Washington are willing to listen, we will not sit quietly in Michigan. We are doing everything we can to protect your pocketbooks while still investing in things that matter most to your family: affordable insurance, quality schools, and safe communities. The 21st Century Jobs Fund will allow us to make investments that will enable Michigan to be a leader in developing alternative fuels and create jobs.

Already, we have:

nearly doubled the number of gas inspectors on the road to ensure that you aren't taken advantage of at the pump;

successfully prosecuted gas station owners who deliberately overcharge customers, including the largest prosecution in state history in Macomb County last year;

helped bring four new ethanol plants to Michigan which will help us reduce our dependence on foreign oil while bringing over 200 jobs and over $350 million in investment to the state;

increased funding for home heating assistance by $25 million;

proposed reducing the cost of auto and homeowners insurance by 20 percent.

Until our leaders in Washington are willing to listen, we must continue to raise our voices together. Continue to make your voice heard to your state legislators and your Congressional representatives. Ask them to join our call to the President to take action against rising prices. Ask them to stand with us.


Jennifer M. Granholm


For some ungodly reason I have evolved the need to pee everyday at 4:00 in the morning. I don't have a clue what has happened to me, or how I have evolved to become this way, but it totally ticks me off.

That and the one stray eyebrow hair that is now growing on my chin. (This rant I shall save for another day, however.)

So, this morning being no exception, I wake up at 4:00 crossing my legs hoping to make it to the bathroom. I hear Charlie milling around downstairs getting ready to leave for work, so I sneak into the bathroom, flipping on the light after I shut the door. I want to be able to go back to bed and fall asleep, if he knows I'm awake he'll come back upstairs and want to talk.

As embarrassing as it is to say, I have to say it anyway.

I glance into the mirror as I walk past it and my reflection literally scared the heck out of me. I was hideous. I could have been Medusa, I'm surprised I didn't turn to stone. With this miserable heat, I had decided to take a shower last night just before I went to bed. I put the air conditioner on high, and fell asleep with wet hair. It was very apparent this morning.

At the sound of my scream Charlie came running upstairs to see what was going on. "Oh my God I'm so ugly my own reflection scared the hell out of me," I told him. He just shook his head and went back downstairs, if he didn't think I was crazy before, I'm sure he does now. You would think after all this time he would have me figured out by now, but he doesn't.

Who knows, maybe one day he will. At least he didn't want to stick around and talk.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

The Visit with Hattie

I couldn't have been more shocked on Thursday when Zach called me at work to let me know that Hattie was at my house, she had just pulled into town from Tennessee. Apparently her dad was going to be going into the hospital on Friday to have a stint put in his heart and balloon angioplasty.

We ended up making plans for her to come on out to the house today to spend the day, I'm so glad she did. This is the first time I've seen my niece and nephew in 3 years, It was Christmas time 3 years ago that they were last in Michigan. I couldn't believe how thick their southern accents were! It's hard to believe that they ever lived here, it kind of cracks me up.

Naturally the conversation turned to my brother almost immediately. He had decided to leave Florida and move to Tennessee, this much I knew. What I didn't know, but Hattie filled me in on, was the fact that he showed up on their doorstep (that would be Hattie and her current HUSBAND) with nowhere to go and no money. Feeling sorry for him, Hattie's husband offered him a place to stay until he got back on his feet. Big mistake! Before they knew it, my Mother was down there as well, suddenly talking about moving to Tennessee.

I hate to say it, but I find it awfully hard to believe I am a part of that family. What is even more amazing is the fact that they treat me poorly because I refused to settle for a white trash life style and pulled myself up out of that cycle of life. It's sad, really.

What can I say, though. It's their loss.

After hearing what Hattie has been putting up with, Charlie and I decided to give Hattie the transaction number to claim the money that I had wired my brother. I still can't believe he never picked it up, or even called back to ask about it. At least by giving the money to Hattie I know she'll put it to good use for her family, which makes me feel good.

Friday, June 16, 2006

A day in the life of Sherri....

It was so hot at work today I thought I was going to die. What made it worse was the fact that we had to finish moving our filing cabinets and reference books and such to the new location.

I was absolutely miserable. Not to mention, Julie pinched my pinky finger between two sections of cubicle wall and I pinched the skin on my arm beneath a magnetic book end. Both were excruciating, but the skin under the bookend bruised immediately. When I screamed out from the pain, everyone laughed at me, then I couldn't get the stupid book end to lift up from the filing cabinet. To be honest, it really ticked me off.

"I've gotta get a drink, I'm parched," I fumed and turned to walk away.

"What the hell is parched??" Sherry exclaims, and they all laugh again.

At times I wish I could just act and be like everyone else. Or, better yet, why can't they be more like me?

"I'm thirsty," I replied as they all stood there looking at me.

"There, now that's better, I know what the hell that means. You use those God damn fancy words all the time, you're like one of those word of the day calendars." Laughter again from everyone as Sherry offered me a few doritos.

I smiled a fake smile and listened for a few minutes as they talked about some guy named Gary getting arrested because he was walking home drunk from somewhere. Everyone seemed appalled that he had been harassed by the cops and beat up before he was put in the drunk tank.

"They probably arrested him for public intoxication. He was probably being disorderly or something," this same thing had happened to my brother when he was 16, but I wasn't going to tell them that.

"Yeah, yeah, that's what he said! You know them cops, trumped up charges," I couldn't believe what I was hearing, did that really come out of Sherry's mouth??

"Didn't you just tell me last week that he came after you with a knife one time and cut up the linoleum in your kitchen?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but that was different, he was drunk," and she begins laughing.

I should probably be considering it a blessing that I'm not like them, but, sometimes it would be nice to just fit in somewhere. Then again, sometimes it's nice to just be me, an original, a one and only.

Unrelated side note: Anyone who has been following my blog will probably remember a past post that I had done about my brother disappearing from the face of the earth. I'll have a lot more to post tomorrow about the whole situation, but, I did want to mention he is no longer MIA. I spoke with his ex wife yesterday, and she and her new husband will be spending the day at my house tomorrow so I can visit with my niece and their kids. Kind of weird that the instant she blows into town she shows up at my house..... Actually, it kind of makes me feel good, anyway, I found out from her that my brother had shown up on their doorstep in Tennessee with nowhere to go. So, her new husband felt sorry for him and had offered him a place to stay. Strange situation.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Dingos and Crack Cream

One of the many curses I've been so fortunate to inherit from my family is my grandmother's sandpaper feet.

I can still remember perfectly the sound of velcro ripping as her feet made their way across the carpeted floor, silently cringing as the noise made my skin crawl.

In my quest to find the perfect foot cream, I was informed by one of my employees of a 'miracle cure' for rough dry feet, a product made by Sally Hansen called 18 Hour Cracked Foot Cream. Granted, the thought of putting something on my feet that goes by the name of 'crack cream' doesn't really give me warm fuzzies, but, hey, what the heck. I'll give it a shot, anything to avoid sandpaper feet.

So, Thomas and I stop at Wal Mart yesterday in search of this crack cream. I looked high, I looked low, I chased Thomas around for 10 minutes then decided to get help from someone who works there. (Shopping with a 3 year old who is NOT in a cart is a recipe for disaster, take my word for it.)

I bet you're wonder what all this has to do with dingos, don't you. :D

Here comes the connection.

After I finally found an employee who had a clue to the maddening lay out of the cosmetics department, she fell in love with Thomas, telling me he was absolutely the cutest thing she'd ever seen. She knelt down to his level and asked him his name.

His reply?

"The dingo ate my baby." I almost died!!

"It's from the Seinfeld commercial, the one where Elaine says 'the dingo ate your baby'," I'm certain this woman thought I was insane. I couldn't stop laughing. Why in the world he has decided to pick up a phrase like that escapes me!

I'm sure she'll forever remember us as 'The Crack Cream Woman' and 'Dingo Boy'.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

"Are you adopted?"

These were the words of Jason and his girlfriend this morning before first break. What a way to start a conversation!

Last night, apparently, the two of them discovered a girl who lives in my town who looks exactly like me, right down to the freckles and hairstyle. She had been hired to babysit for Jason's girlfriend, and the two of them have been mulling it over ever since.

For years now I've heard from people all over that I looked just like this woman. When I worked at Wal Mart, she worked at Ponderosa, customers would constantly ask me if I had a twin, or if that had been my second job. One couple had become so freaked out at the fact that 'I had just waited on them' the woman had begun to pray. (True story!)

Charlie has even seen this woman, in fact, he almost mistook her for me in line at BK one day. That is how much alike I look like this woman.

Now, up until this point, I didn't really think I would ever get the chance to see or meet up with this person, but it looks like luck is on my side. I may get to actually see this woman with my own eyes! Jason and Andrea are certain that I must have been adopted, and want me to meet this babysitter.

If I didn't know any better, I would say I've stumbled into my very own made for TV movie.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

What NOT to do at work...

Because the restrooms where I work are so terrible even the flies stay clear, I have an unhealthy fixation with the lysol cans that usually accompany each of the stalls. If I'm not standing in the midst of a toxic cloud of lysol, I can not use the stall, pure and simple. This doesn't always agree with everyone, as you can imagine.

Although I try to avoid them at all costs whenever possible, an occasional emergency does arise from time to time where I have no choice, I have to use the bathroom. Today being one of those days.

So, there I stand in the restroom stall with lysol in hand when the unimaginable happens. Somehow, for the life of me I can't understand why, I neglected to notice the sprayer was pointed in the direction of my face rather then away from my face.

"How could I have been so stupid?", I ask myself.

As you can pretty much surmise, I end up macing myself with the can of lysol and choking to the point of near unconsciousness, clinging on to the stall door so as not to lose my balance and direction. From a distance I hear a voice asking if I'm ok, but I'm unable to see a thing. Blinded and gagging, the voice leads me out of the stall to the sink where I rinse my face a few times with a little cool water.

I'm so embarrassed I could die.

Monday, June 12, 2006

You've been a bad boy!

I'm beginning to think Viagra man is really a dirty old man in disguise. (Who would have thought that???)

So, Viagra man shows up at my desk today to shoot the breeze. (One of the downfalls of being the most popular area in the building, people seem to gravitate toward us to brighten their day.) Trying to be the polite 'hostess with the mostest' I asked him how things were in his neck of the woods, how his customer was doing, and if there was anything he needed for us to do. Naturally, conversation turned in the direction of the Nitrogen shortage and how he was absolutely unable to believe that a company like ours would not have some sort of monitoring procedure in place to ensure this type of stuff would not happen.

Being my usual smart ass self, I stated 'Sure we do, you were supposed to be checking that, didn't anyone tell you? How could you let something like this happen?' Going right along with the joke, Viagra man then tells me 'I've been baaaad, you need to punish me' and flashes me an evil grin like I've never seen on him before! I almost died!!

Laughing like crazy, I was absolutely speechless, something that doesn't happen very often.

Of course, this is the man that told me the 'Dirty Al' story, catches my attention by saying 'Pssst Sailor, and carries around a pen advertising Viagra. Should I have expected any less?

This week at Otsego Place.....

  • Crazy Office Supply Julie has earned the name tenfold. Several of the production managers have asked me what's up with my best friend. I merely told them I had put in a good word for them as well. One of these days, I just KNOW I'm going to find some cryptic little note scrawled on a piece of stationery, warning me of my impending murder.
  • One of our engineering associates has abruptly quit his job, packed up himself and his daughter, and moved to Washington over the weekend. Apparently the whole plant heard before his boss, and wife, however. When the wife called the boss to inquire if her husband had showed up for work, the boss told her he may have called in sick. Yikes!! (It may interest everyone to know this little tidbit of information - Missing Engineering Associate was VERY close friends with Crazy Office Supply Julie. Hmmm.....)
  • It has been discovered that one of the floor associates has a restraining order out against Crazy Office Supply Julie. (Imagine that!) Because she has been told that she CAN NOT be within 50 ft of this individual, she has taken it upon herself to walk past her as often as possible. The woman in question with the restraining order? She's a 78 year old woman who has recently been the victim of a scandal and lost thousands of dollars in her daughters nasty divorce. It has also been discovered, the ex husbands first wife was the sister to a current employee, when she had discovered that he was cheating on her, she committed suicide. (Oh, the tangled webs we weave)
  • The new head cheese officially starts his day here, today. Such a wonderful day, all is well, everything running like a finely tuned machine..... Not!! First thing this morning our 11,000 gallon nitrogen tank runs completely out, shutting down the one line in the building that NEEDS to be running constantly. The one line in our building that has such an overwhelming demand that all resources and customers have been sacrificed to ensure it remains healthy. (Our speculations, we may have not paid the bill, therefore, no nitrogen is delivered.) To the new Director of Operations, welcome aboard , hope you enjoy the visit!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

10 Things that Made Me Wonder Today

  1. Why does Bill wear a long sleeved sweater in the middle of the summer? What is wrong with that man??
  2. I am being forced to move my inspection area, but everyone acts like it is my choice to do so. The IT guy today tells me there are no hook ups in the spot that has been created for my area, so it will be a lengthy and tedious move. Do I still want to? What the hell??? Of course I don't want to move, can I stay right where I am?
  3. After 3 weeks of constant pestering, the maintenance guys are finally hanging our department sign over the receiving department. Last week, when I told them we had cookies in the area, the maintenance guys were brushing the crumbs from their lips before I had even finished the invite.
  4. When a man has a perfectly fine, full head of hair, why in the heck would he shave it all off? And, if a bald man gets a sunburn on the top of his head, how painful is that, exactly? Does it hurt to blink?
  5. Helen. Need I say more?
  6. I had to give a member of my team a write up this week. I don't like to do that, it's the only one I've ever had to do. I wonder if I will feel horrible about it for the rest of my life.
  7. I wonder if the person who I gave the write up to even knows how terrible it made me feel to give.
  8. What is it about a nice smelling guy that is so irresistible? He could be ugly as sin but I would still find myself attracted to him.
  9. The comb over. WTF? We know you're bald, who do you think you're fooling? It's time for a come to Jesus, here, folks. You need to take notes from the people in #4 above.
  10. People who operate in slow motion. Does the day fly by for them?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I have kicked ass and taken names....

Have you ever wondered where the heck a phrase like that comes from? I don’t have a clue, but I sure like to use it.

Today has been another day from hell in the land of Sherri. Can I blame it on a full moon? Are we anywhere close to a lunar eclipse? All I can say is, GodDamn; I’m sick and tired of this shit!

From the minute I arrived at work today it has been an all out fight, tooth and nail, about everything. And, of course, a mile long string of emails has ensued that copy just about everyone in the plant. One second I have a receiver in tears crying because she has been literally eaten alive by the ‘bull pen’. Another second I have several members of the ‘bull pen’ tearing me up for standing my ground and forcing them to treat others with dignity and respect. Another second I have the upper echelon tearing up the ‘bull pen’ for not maintaining their professionalism and position.

Then there is the other issue, the issue that started everything out to begin with. The process that was not followed has been bungled into a giant snowball perched precariously on the edge of a cliff waiting to teeter off and flatten the town. I hate it when someone does a half-assed job at something and doesn’t give a rip. What the hell??? When I have to tell someone who makes twice my salary how to do his or her job it makes me VERY unhappy.

Unhappy enough to just kick their ass then take their name.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

My New Template

A million and one thanks go out to Pixie for this beautious new template!!!

Thanks Pixie!

Please be sure to stop by and check out her site for a spiffy new template of your own.

Eye Test

Sanity Returned

This has become my favorite part of the day. Early morning. No kids, no work problems, a good nights sleep, what couldn't be better?

The funny thing is, I was never a morning person. It would take me an hour just to wake up enough in the morning to be functional. I would sit in a groggy haze trying to shake the remnants of sleep from my mind. And that was at 11:00 in the morning.

I look back at those days and laugh, getting up early meant setting the alarm for 9:00!

Oh, how things have changed.....

Monday, June 05, 2006

Come back when I'm sane....... (it may be a long wait)

I don't think this day could have been any more chaotic than it was. I'm just so glad it's done!

I hate drama, today seemed to be the day that EVERYTHING hit the fan, swear to God. I had a no call no show this morning. The corporate commodities manager was on the phone with me twice asking that I support his plan, a plan in which I have to go against the upper echelon within my building, a very risky thing to do. I had receiving girls all working into a tizzy about parts not matching the AML and engineers signing off on them. I had Helen telling me, every 5 seconds, "I have a question." I had the Doc Control coordinator on the phone with me, in tears, about a work instruction that I had submitted for approval back in March that still wasn't completed.

All I can say is, thank God this day is done, and tomorrow is another day. Hopefully it won't be quite as hectic as today.

Boxers or Briefs?

I can't understand why the makers of women's underwear have such a fixation on men's underwear. It boggles my mind.

Last weekend I decided I need some new undies, so into town I went to do a little shopping. Everywhere I looked women's underwear made to look like men's underwear, complete with the little pee hole flap in the front. (Yeah, I'm sure there is a more appropriate name for that section, I just don't know what it is.)

What the heck??

Is that the new sexy? Does it turn a guy on to see his wife/girlfriend wearing faux men's briefs? I just don't understand. So, I decided to do a little experiment of my own.

Now, normally I stick to the silky, feminine types. Silky because they tend to fit better beneath your clothing and rarely ever ride up the crack of your butt. Feminine because, well, I just like the pretty ones.

So, last weekend I picked up 3 pair of the faux briefs, still wanting to look at least a tad feminine, I picked up varying colors of pink and light grey cotton. Believe it or not, I really like them! I wore the first pair today and they are super comfortable.

Which is probably a good thing.....

Helen is driving me insane this morning. She has continued to interrupt every single conversation I've had all morning. To top it off, she has just spent the last half hour telling me about some man who had to stop his chemotherapy because of the boils in his rectum and bladder area. Ugh!!! This is definitely information I didn't want to know.

Friday, June 02, 2006

What are your deadly sins??

Your Deadly Sins
Envy: 80%
Wrath: 80%
Pride: 40%
Sloth: 40%
Gluttony: 20%
Greed: 20%
Lust: 20%
Chance You'll Go to Hell: 43%
You will die a boring death. While dying, you will be jealous of those who die dramatic deaths.

(This stolen post possible because of WC Jack, make sure you stop by and check him out.)

Operation Fish Plant - Success

The stars have aligned, all is good in the land of Sherri. How perfect is it that today ends up being Joe's 40th birthday!

I arrive at work this morning with the putrid fish in a sandwich bag, complete with a slug that had been crawling on it. Deftly placing the fish in a static bag, I attach a post it note to the outside stating 'Happy Birthday Joe'.

Julie and I then sneak over to his unoccupied desk and place it in the second drawer, below the phone book. As far as I can tell, he has yet to discover his present.

Only one negative to the whole plan, every once in a while I get a whiff of the fish. Not good!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The War is ON!!

Joe has officially crossed the line, he now deserves the rotting fish in his drawer.

Nonchalantly, he strolls into my area, stands at my desk, has the nerve to say "How is Sherri today?", then throws a live cricket on my desk, cricket immediately jumping at me!!!

Here's my plan.....

My husband and son went fishing LAST weekend. Mind you, it has been really hot, and humid, and he ended up not cleaning all of the blue gills he brought home.

Guess where the new home for these rotting fish will be????

Joe's desk!

More details to come tomorrow, the day that I put my plan in action. One more day of fermenting can't hurt.

An Omen of the day before me?

Not sure how the rest of the sane world around me operates, but I view things as identifiers, omens, insights to the day ahead.

If I start the day with an excellent hair day, I'm sure to have an excellent day. If I poke my eye with my mascara wand, I'm certain to have a day full of constant surprise fiascoes. It never fails.

This morning started out ok, I woke up on time, had a clean towel for my shower, didn't have to wait for anything to come out of the dryer before I could get dressed. Then it happened, the Omen, the indicator of my day. Standing in my closet, getting dressed for the day, I reach for my deodorant and begin to apply.

(Yes, I'm fully aware of how crazy it sounds that I keep my deodorant on the closet shelf. It's just so easy to forget to put it on if it's in the bathroom. I don't like to put it on unless I'm already wearing my bra, and if I wait until I'm fully dressed I constantly forget to put it on.)

So, there I am, deodorant in mid application, when the solid portion of the deodorant falls out of the applicator and crumbles into the floor. Ugh!!!!

You know you have sunk to new lows when you find yourself salvaging deodorant crumbles from the floor to apply to your pits.

Sad, but true.

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