I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What a day.....

I've accidentally put my bra on inside out today. How in the heck does someone do something like that?? Up until now, I didn't think it was even possible to NOT notice something so obvious!

Yet, it happens.

Just an indicator of how busy my mind is and how hurried I am most of the time. I need a vacation, a nice long tropical vacation, one full of margaritas and cabana boys.....

Dare to dream!

I was unable to remove the strawberry coolaid mustache from Thomas's upper lip this morning. He looks like a demented clown in a child's body. Poor little guy. If I'd thought about it this morning, I would have snapped a picture for all to see.

But, you know how that goes, I can't even manage to put my bra on correctly, what makes you think I would be able to operate a camera??

Hope your days are going well!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Is 32 old?

I sit here, and think to myself, I am not old. I don't feel old, I don't think I look old, how do you really know if you ARE old?

I was in the check out line at Kohl's today, my mind a million miles away, when one comment snapped me back to reality immediately. It left me speechless, actually.

"Remember when our Grandma's used to wear stuff like this?" the teeny bopper cashier was smiling at me, pointing out a top I had picked out.

"I don't recall my Grandmother ever wearing stuff like this." WTF?? Was she really telling me I was about to purchase and wear something my Grandmother would have worn?

"Well, you're probably right. Your Grandma was probably a million years older then mine," still smiling, still looking right at me.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.

"Probably not, my Grandmother was still wearing bones and furs with the other cave women," the lady behind me laughed, the check out girls smile immediately faded.

Which leaves me wondering, if I found myself single again, have I surpassed the desirable age limit for women? Am I now doomed to a life of solitaire with my 18 cats?

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Day After

Decidedly a million times worse then the actual day.....

Is it possible that I am still full from yesterday? What is it about Thanksgiving that it can completely turn someone into a never ending, bottomless pit for food?

And, why is it that everyone feels they need to feed you? Stopping in for a few minutes?? You've gotta try this turkey I baked... Oh, while your at it, have a few potatoes.... You'd might as well finish it off with a slice of pie....

Ok, people, seriously, when I say I'm full, I mean it. Do I literally have to pop all of the buttons on my clothes to get you to believe?

Hope you all had a Happy Turkey Day! (And, are just as miserable as I am.)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

How do you rank in respect to the 7 deadly sins?

Lust:Very High

Discover Your Sins - Click Here

Very eye opening, I must say.....

10 Incidents in my Horrible Morning

  1. I cried really hard, now my eyes are irritated and burning.
  2. Trying to mask the red eye syndrome, I decided to wear eye liner today. I look like a raccoon with bloodshot eyes.
  3. My favorite jeans are too tight. I've become a fat pig and it totally disgusts me.
  4. I'm wearing the jeans anyway.... Nothing like a fat pig with bloodshot raccoon eyes.
  5. The battery in my jeep died this morning.
  6. I shocked the hell out of my thumb when I tried to hook up the battery charger. I now have a black spot on my thumb nail and bloodshot raccoon eyes.
  7. The instant I arrived at work today I was ambushed at the door with issues.
  8. Parts were received in wrong, causing a totally lot recall of several assemblies. Helen had a question about an NCM. Jim wanted to know how many more boards he would have to inspect and remask because 'he didn't have any support for non production activities.'
  9. A) I want to kick the receivers ass who received the parts in incorrectly. B) I want to kick Helen's ass because she's too fricking stupid to look shit up on her own. C) Jim is not working on MY project, he is helping out Dave. Why am I always in the midst of all that shit!
  10. I just want to run away and never come back. I sure wish I could.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Happy Birthday Thomas!

4 years ago, at this precise moment in time, I held my little guy for the first time ever.

Life is passing me by way too fast...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Disaster Cupcakes and the Birthday Boy

We should all take a hint from the birthday boy! Nothing beats a good smile!

This is the reason I don't cook....

I have serious doubts these are even edible.

For some reason I had grand illusions of being the 'Betty Crocker' mom. Call it temporary insanity, if you will. Regardless, I had decided to make cupcakes for Thomas to bring to daycare tomorrow, a daycare birthday party, if you will.

Egads! What was I thinking.

At least 9 of them turned out. Posted by Picasa

Saturday, November 18, 2006

The Open Fly

The new guy Bob showed up at my desk yesterday to ask me if I'd watched Thursday night's episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'.

I hadn't, but, that's not really what this post is going to be about.

His enormous zipper was all the way down! I could see it all, and, it was NOT a pretty sight. There he stood, slightly bent, pants open as wide as they could possibly be, and I didn't say a word. I secretly wondered why in the heck couldn't he feel a draft down there? Or, did he know, and, he just wanted me to catch a good view?

I wanted to die.

You know, it would have been one thing if he were a toned up hottie. But, he's not. He's one of those guys who has a gut that is just about as big around as he is tall. And, that's quite a circumference, considering he is approximately 6'2. Plus, he actually buys his pants to fit his waist. Meaning, while they rest comfortably around his waist, the legs are so loose you could probably fit me, Julie, and Helen down each leg.


I'm certain my vision has been permanently impaired.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Beware the Ladies Bathroom

As in any facility that employs 250+ people, the restrooms become somewhat of a biohazzard by days end. Toxic smells, mysterious smears and splatters, drips on the floor at your feet scream out at you, calling you to beware.

Unfortunately nature has it's way of not caring.

Nature could give a rats ass whether or not you cringe at the sight of the pubic hair that has found itself attached to the toilet seat when you enter the stall. Nor does it care that the person in the next stall has let one rip so loudly your ears are ringing.

Today seems to have been a day where everything has come to a head in the ladies restroom. 2 toilets are out of commission (shit floating in water that is precariously teetering the brink of overflow), a stench that could scare buzzards from a meat wagon, and near cat fights over the 2 remaining 'usable' toilets have left the women on the production floor down right nasty.

I am disgusted.

This by-far outranks the disgust I feel over the dead mosquito that has been stuck to the wall in the last stall for 2 years. In fact, when they painted the bathroom last summer, they painted right over the mosquito carcass.

Lord have mercy on my over worked, under paid, miserable little soul.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Friend Bug

Have you ever crushed the very heart and soul of your child without knowing you have actually done so?

Thomas had found a bug last night and decided to befriend the thing. Little did I know, 10 minutes later, the two of them would be sitting side by side watching TV together.

Nor would I have least expected that I would unknowingly vacuum up 'Bug' while I was cleaning the living room.

I devastated him.

Recoiling in horror, Thomas backs all the way up to the TV and is literally torn apart, crying in devastation, screaming "My friend Bug! My friend Bug!"

Shutting the vacuum off, I ask him what is going on. I'm worried, I have no idea what the heck has just happened.

"You bacumed my friend Bug," he cried.

Then I knew what had happened. Feeling like a complete heel, nearly crying myself at how I had completely crushed his little soul, I took the vacuum bag out of the vacuum and dug through mess until I found the lifeless body of 'Bug'.

What a Mom won't do to make her kids happy again!

Thomas didn't seem phased by the fact that 'Bug' was no longer alive, thank God. The situation was already traumatic enough.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Did you know?

Acetone will dissolve a styrofoam cup quicker then you can count to ten?

I know that, now.

Staring at my nails as I arrive at my desk, I am once again berating myself for not removing the remnants of my last weeks manicure. Chipped and partially missing, the nail polish was beyond hideous. Thinking fast, I send a quick email to one of Sandy asking her to steal some acetone from the conformal coat room so I can remove my polish.

It pays to have friends amongst the production floor.

A few minutes go by and I see her coming, paper cup in hand, acetone dripping through the bottom.

"Oh My God Sherri! You'll never believe what happened! I have to tell you the story!" she is laughing like crazy, I can't help but laugh along with her even though I have no idea what she is laughing about.

"Oh My God! What happened?" In my mind I'm fully aware that we sound like teenagers, but, I can't help it, I'm lost in the moment. I grab some paper towel from the roll in our supply cabinet and set the leaking cup upon it, going right to work on removing the old polish.

"Ok, so, I grabbed a styrofoam cup from the front office and I sneak into the conformal coat room. I pour the acetone into the cup but it spilled a little, and I didn't want to wreck my nails, I only turned for a second to grab a paper towel, when I turned back the cup was gone!" her eyes were huge, we were both staring at her nails to make sure the polish was still ok.

"Oh My God! No way! Where did it go?" I couldn't stop laughing, I'm certain you could hear me all over the production floor.

"It dissolved into a big marshmellowy mess! I couldn't believe my eyes! I just left it there!" with this last confession, we both broke out in fresh peels of laughter.

"I've gotta wash my hands, look at my nails!" my fingertips were white, the skin dried out like old parchment paper.

It's never a dull moment around this place.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Give that man a toothbrush!

The new guy came back to chat with me this morning about last nights episode of 'Desperate Housewives'.

First, do guys actually watch 'Desperate Housewives'? I mean, isn't that a tad emasculating to them? I'm not talking he watched it to look at the hit chicks either, he watched it and completely understood the plot line!

So, back to the story. The new guy shows up to talk about last night's episode and his teeth were

Friday, November 03, 2006

How many people in the US have your name?

LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Half a vicodin and a 4 hour meeting later.....

I now sit, at my computer, listening to Simon and Garfunkel singing "I am a rock, I am an island...."

I should be writing a past due performance evaluation for one of my employees, but, I just don't feel like it. Instead, I think I shall partake in a little fact sharing session for my beloved blog readers.

Those of you out there who happen to read my blog and have unanswered questions about myself rattling around, drop me a comment and I will, to the best of my ability, put an end to your pondering.

For now, I shall leave you with this:
  • Thomas was a pirate for Halloween. He was sooooo cute, I wish the batteries in my digital camera hadn't died, I would have posted his picture for everyone to see. Zach, on the other hand, decided on the 11th hour that he was not going to go trick-or-treating. I was so bummed, it's just another sign that he's growing up on me, the little bugger.
  • The director of operations has corrected his hair dye malfunction, as of today, it has officially returned back to the greenish brown hue it had formerly been.
  • Helen's son will be getting out of prison in 2 months. She is ecstatic, however, for some reason, it makes me feel ill at ease to know that a man who nearly beat another man to death is back on the streets. (Hmmm..... I can't imagine why that would make me feel uneasy, can you?)
  • I really shouldn't have taken vicodin for my headache. I can't even concentrate on this blog entry long enough to finish it out..... Lesson to you all out there!
  • I'm not wearing any socks today because I didn't have any clean ones. We've got 8 inches of snow on the ground and I came to work sockless!
  • Lastly, I'm certain I'll read this entry later, and thing, OMG! What the hell was I thinking??

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

What's grosser then gross?

Eating an entire container of yogurt only to have the last bite contain something 'suspicious'.

Since I forgot my lunch today, and didn't feel like running all the way home to get anything, I decided to take my chances and live life on the edge by buy vending machine yogurt for lunch.

Big mistake!!

The very last bite I took contained something about the size and consistency of a grain of rice. I seriously thought I was going to gag when I felt it on my tongue, words can not describe how grossed out I felt at the mere thought that is was possibly a grub.


I'm grossing out again, just at the thought.

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