I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Embarrassing Moment #552

Never bring your kids out in public, it will always end horribly.

Thomas, Zachary, and I are all in the check out line at Wal Mart. As usual, the checker is racing along at a snails pace and a million people are milling around us waiting to be checked out. I am absolutely frazzled by my kids, the constant arguing and picking has not ended since the minute we all got into the jeep to head to Wal Mart.

At the point where Thomas yelled at the top of his lungs that Zachary was a dummy ass I lost it. All eyes upon us, I yell at them both to shut up and stop fighting, I didn't want to hear another word out of either of them.

The ten foot perimeter around us was suddenly quiet, even thought I didn't look up, I knew everyone and their brother were staring at us, undoubtedly wishing they were in another line.

After a few moments of silence, enough to make the whole situation very uncomfortable, Thomas breaks the silence.

"Mom..." His voice is hesitant, but he still calls out my name.

"Yes Thomas" Trying to be nice, my voice dripping with irritation.

"I farted." He smiles, I'm horrified, I know everyone can hear him.

"What do you say?" I'm trying to at least show we've got a little couth.

"PU" I can't believe my ears, did he really say that?? I give up and start to laugh.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

And I couldn't believe my eyes!

I was standing at Audrey's desk when he stepped through the dock door. With a look of stoned numbness, he stared about the receiving area and finally rested his sunglassed eyes upon me. Not knowing what else to do, I said 'Can I help you?'

He began his story about the Fed Ex guy committing the cardinal sin against truck drivers, first come first serve. I stood there, wondering what the heck this guy was on. Apparently the Fed Ex guy pulled up to the window even though he had been out there and in the midst of pulling up to the window.

I fake a look of mock horror and take the truck bill from him hoping he would just go about his business and drop whatever he had on the back of his truck off and leave.

Now, this guy had stated that he had delivered to our building before, and he seemed somewhat familiar, but he had absolutely no clue how to work our lift or open the gates. Finally giving up on getting them open, he took a running start and crashed through them, I could only stand by and watch as this guy made a complete ass out of himself. I look down at Audrey and laugh, I couldn't help it.

Audrey then tells me the Fed Ex guy had commented when he pulled up to the window that this guy was out in the parking lot taking a leak in the front of his truck.

I have seen a lot of stuff in my days as the manager of the receiving department, but this guy definitely sticks out as one of the most memorable, right up there with Bud Costello offering to show us the hot poker scar he had on his groin.


Inquiring minds want to know....

Just in case you were as curious as me.

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizers invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term " S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

(This little tidbit of interesting information forwarded to my by one of the business managers upon hearing me curse out loud.)

Monday, August 28, 2006

At War with the Spice Girl

Spice Girl has taken it upon herself to make my management skills a 'project' for her to work upon. Can you believe that?? I'm pissed right to the very core.

2 months ago I received a 98% on my performance evaluation, she had nothing buy good things to say about my performance. Today I may as well be scum of the earth.

I think what pisses me off most is this information is coming from one of the fakest, phoniest, plastic, preteen wannabes in the world.


This coming from the woman who, at this very moment, is walking around with several members of a customer executive team wearing a skin tight camouflage t-shirt with the word 'hottie' spelled across the chest in gold sparkles.


I have brought this issue up with one other manager that I work with, someone who I trust and respect. After first teasing me that I can't get along with any of the women I work with, he then told me exactly what I didn't want to hear.

Spice Girl is viewing me as a threat to her. She is absolutely someone who thrives on attention, someone who feels they must be the center of attention at all times. As long as I'm not stealing any of the limelight from her, I'm all set.

I now feel she has taken out a personal vendetta against me, she will tear me down before she is through. Not good, this is my boss. Also not good, several members of my team are telling me she is treating them the same way. It makes me angry that one person can have that much power over other peoples lives.

My advice to them was to keep on doing their best and don't let her beat them down. I know this is going to get much uglier before it gets any better.

Friday, August 25, 2006

A Sixth Grader Named David

I dreamed of a kid I haven't even thought of in years, his name was David and he sat 2 desks ahead of me in one of my 6th grade classes.

What I'm about to tell you is something most people do not know, I rarely speak of the time that my mother was married to Mark and how our life was when we lived in Frederick. It brings back bad memories that I would just love to forget forever.

For 3 months I had attended the Grayling Middle School, the 3 most miserable months of my entire life. I didn't know a soul in my new school, my homelife was not any better. I was quiet, extremely quiet, and for this reason my teachers had all grown to like me, always trying to pull me out of my shell.

One teacher in particular had caught my attention. She was an English teacher, and for the life of me, I can't remember her name. She was young and hip and her students had all gained such great respect for her, myself included.

It was in her particular class that David sat 2 desks ahead of me. David was poor, and dirty, and always a trouble maker. To this day I can see his greasy hair and blue vest in my mind, even back then I had known he was most assuredly poor.

The class had been working quietly on a project one day when the teacher had called upon me to deliver a note to the guidance counselor on the third floor. She had emphasized that I not read the note, that I merely deliver and return to class. I agreed that I would not read the note, but I did not keep my word.

As soon as I left the landing on the second floor I carefully unfolded the note and began to decipher the 3 sentences scratched on the paper.

You've got to do something about David, his smell is making me sick. Get him out of my class.

I still remember stopping right in my tracks. For some odd reason I felt sad and hurt. I had felt horrible for David because I now knew something bad. I had lost respect for the teacher, how would I ever be able to return back to class??

As I had promised, I dropped off the note and returned back to class. I hadn't been in my seat for more then a minute when the guidance counselor arrived asking to meat with David.

Everyone had assumed he had gotten into trouble again, but I knew the truth.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Waste of Good Oxygen

Sometimes I could just thump people, I swear to God.

One of my receivers approached me today with an issue. Apparently several receipts of a certain component have been received where the supplier has sent us way more then what they should have, causing a huge count discrepancy on the floor.

So, I say to her, why aren't we catching these discrepancies when we verify the counts? Silence. She doesn't say a word. I'm staring at 4 packing slips and I see that 4 different people have opened the packages and verified the counts, not a one had spotted the discrepancies. Which tells me, they are NOT doing their job, nothing is being counted, they aren't even looking at the listed quantities on the manufacturer labels!

I'm so ticked off at the moment I could just scream.

I begin to tell the receiver the actions I want her to take. She's not liking what I have to say and continually buts in. Finally I stop her in mid sentence and calmly state "Audrey, you are not listening to me. You have to listen to what I'm saying in order to fix this situation."

Can you believe she had the nerve to continue on with her pathetic ramblings??

I sat there and stared right at her until she was done. I stood up, told her I was going to take a look at what was on the floor, and advised her that what I was telling her needed to be done would be done. I don't like to be this way, but sometimes you have to be.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Homemade Gifts with Heart

Now what man wouldn't just LOVE to get one of these hand crocheted delights from one of their sweeties??

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Watch my back....

Believe it or not, I have ticked off someone who works where I work to the point of becoming sullen and angry, totally ignoring my very existence.

I know what you're thinking... How could someone as sweet and kind and wonderful as ME be able to invoke such behavior in a person?? (Ok, you can stop rolling your eyes now.)

So, here's the story. About 4 or 5 months ago this guy came back to get my approval to do a miscellaneous receipt of inventory for the machine tech's. Being my usual smart ass self, I teased him for a few minutes and then told the receiving girls to go ahead and process what he needed.

That little bit of teasing was all it took to turn this guy into a sullen disgruntled man who may possibly be plotting his revenge against me.

I had told Julie about it months ago, but she was certain I was just imagining things. That is, until today. The depressed psychopath comes into the inspection department and sits down in Julie's chair. Julie says Hi, he says Hi back. I say 'what's up?' and he says Hi to Julie once again. He totally ignored me! Julie shoots me a weird look, then asks if there is something we can help him with.

I couldn't believe it. I'm a manager for God's sake, I don't normally throw that phrase around, but damn! I deserve a little respect!

Julie was in shock.

It is still beside me how I could have angered this guy this much to be such an ass to me. I mean, I don't even know him! I teased him for maybe a few minutes most, and really, I was just kidding around with him and giving him a hard time like I do to everyone.

Julie's Theories

  • He has a bad temper and flies off the handle at the slightest inclination.
  • He had a crush on me and I made him feel like a jackass.
  • He's a homicidal maniac and just needed an outlet for his madness.

Let's just hope it's not the last theory.

Happy Tuesday!!

This is just too darn cute!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Dungbeetle Softball

I am pleased to announce that I have lived to tell you all about the softball game!

I almost died when I arrived at the game and discovered that Rick had decided to make me catcher. The one position I had not practiced in at practice is the one position they put me in.


But, for someone who has never played softball in her life, I did ok! I'm just so relieved to have the whole thing behind me now! I was quite embarrassed at some of the people who were out in the stands, though. There my kids sit next to people who were bad mouthing myself and the other members of our team. 2 women, I have not found out who they are yet, had been complaining about how I threw and hit like a girl.

Too bad it's not Thursday, because they could really fuck off and die!

I told Zach 'of course I throw and hit like a girl, I am one.' He just laughed. But I did tell him that this was a good lesson for him, just because you don't normally do stuff doesn't mean that you shouldn't at least try it. And, when you do try, you have to be able to take the competition and criticism that comes along with it.

As much as it pains me to admit, we ended up losing the game in the 9th inning with the other team at 2 outs. Up until that point we had been winning by 3 points, not bad for a team who has only practiced together twice in their life.

I am still unsure what happened, but from what I could see, the person playing first base left his post to chase after the ball so nobody was covering the plate. The first base man ended up getting the ball and it all went to hell from there. Believe it or not, with that screw up, they scored 2 points. 2 batters later a series of overthrows and clumsiness allowed 2 more batters in, winning the game.

But we gave it our all, and that's all that matters.

End score was 14 Dungbeetles - 15 Employees.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Office Gremlins

My friend was back today while I cleaned offices. So bizarre, I can't say for sure if I'm actually seeing what I'm seeing, but, I know something is there.

I was cleaning the big conference room when I seen something black float past the door. I can't even explain it by saying I was looking at it through the corner of my eye because I was looking right in the direction of the door. My eyes were looking at the table as I was wiping it down but I know I seen something pass by the doorway.

For a good minute I stood there, cleaner in one hand, rag in the other, trying to decide if I should bolt or continue on cleaning. In the end I talked myself into finishing the job so I wouldn't have to go back tomorrow.

I know this all sounds like I'm crazy, but I know I'm not imagining this stuff.

In other news: The office has picked up a new resident of some kind. He's a John Wayne buff, apparently, everything in his office from the calendar on the wall to the coffee cup he drinks from has John Wayne on it. I couldn't help but laugh when I seen his picture. (Or so I presume it is a picture of him and his wife.) I totally expected the JWB to be in his 70's or so, but judging by the picture on his desk, he can't be a day over 25, probably right out of college.

The Health Food Fanatic has once again stashed a huge box of Apple Jacks beneath his desk behind the mega power drinks. I can't help but like the guy, nonetheless. Something I've noticed each week as I clean his office, he has 4 photos of his wife in various parts of his office. Each week all 4 photo frames are completely covered in fingerprints, I can't help but find that endearing. I can picture him sitting in his office gazing lovingly at photos of his wife. I know, I'm a sap, but that's what I picture.

The Fat Ass Receptionist spilled her coffee on her desk this week, then hid the mess under her phone, probably too lazy to clean it up. Perhaps she was too stuffed from all the take out food she eats for lunch everyday?? I hate to say it, but, I don't even know this woman and I get feelings of disgust the instant I start cleaning up her work space. Ack!

Interesting observation - for two weeks in a row the bathroom by the front door has had saw dust all over the toilet tank and seat. What the hell?? I'm still wondering about this one. (Yes, in case your wondering, I DO have to clean the bathrooms and scrub toilets. Thank God for rubber gloves!)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Can you hear that sizzle??

It's coming from my eyesockets, the place my once beautiful blue eyes used to reside. I'm going to miss them now that they've been burned from my eyesockets by the emotionally scarring scene I witnessed today.....

It was a morning like every other morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, I was met outside the building at my car by disgruntled employees...... (Yeah, I REALLY need to evaluate why I continue to work here.)

So, I'm in transit to the front door with Mary in tow, listening against my will as she tells me, AGAIN, for the millionth time about her chronic sinus pain, while I silently cry out about my chronic ear pain, when IT happened. The life scarring events that I'm about to reveal.

Seeing that I'm outside the building talking to Mary, Helen comes my way to ask me a question. The day is slightly breezy, but not enough to actually say it is windy. Helen is all dressed up, complete with a flower circle in her hair and a sheer and flowing skirt. (In case you're wondering, she's headed to a Banjo Picker concert this afternoon to fulfill her groupie duties.)

Seeing Helen, and my chance to escape the chronic ear pain, I head toward Helen to see what was up.

Unfortunately, I was completely unprepared for what was up!

A gust of wind blew Helen's skirt up around her armpits exposing much more of Helen than I had ever intended to see in my entire life.

The horror!!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Everyone participating on the managers softball team had their pictures taken today with black stuff below their eyes and a sneer on their face.

I already know I'm going to die of embarrassment when they post them on the cafeteria windows.


note: It is not viewed as mean and nasty when you ask for a mirror to place black stuff below your eyes. (This I discovered this morning.) Also, be cautious of other members of the team placing the black stuff below your eyes. (This lesson I ALSO learned this morning.)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tips for the Male Readers

What NOT to do during a romantic evening in.

Things that Shocked Me Today

  1. The contact machine bursting into flames as I walked past it on my way to the production managers meeting.
  2. One of the most popular guys in high school grew up to be the heating and cooling guy who is moving the furnace located right above the receiving department. He is now dirty, pot bellied, and covered in facial hair.
  3. One of my employees approaching me today to ask about my experiences with the psychic lady who lives near me. How did she know I've been to see her??
  4. Helen sliding her chair back away from her desk, staring intently at the heating and cooling guys, then whistling and sighing about their "big muscles".
  5. Dave becoming jealous and upset at Deb because she was 'distracting the construction worker guys'. Yikes!! He was irate and jealous.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Prepared for a shitstorm?

Scene: Julie and I are sitting at our desks commenting on the unearthly stench radiating out of the machinist room.

  • Me - Is it just me? Or, does Fred smell like he's rotting from the inside out. Good Lord, I walked past his room this morning and I broke out in a nauseous sweat.
  • Julie - I'm telling you, I think that man shits his pants.
  • Me - Do you think he wears a diaper?
  • Julie - Could be, girlfriend. Who in the hell would want to sit around in a pile of shit all day?
  • Me - It's just not normal.
  • Julie - You said it, girlfriend. Jeez, I feel like I'm on an episode of 'Sienfeld'.
  • Me - We could make millions. {Laughter from both.}

Fred was especially stinky today, my theory is too many boiled dinners being consumed by a 78 year old digestive track. Ack!!

How can someone be soooo rank that your nose hairs curl and act like nothing is going on?? Or, does he even know this smell is coming from HIM?? Could he be secretly assuming it is coming from other people??

Sunday, August 13, 2006

More Strangeness Afoot

I somehow mustered the courage to return to the offices this morning and finish my cleaning, all the craziness of last night behind me, thankfully.

At least, I had thought.

I arrive to everything exactly as I had left it. The cleaning supplies in a harried mess in the entrance way corner, one small bag of trash waiting to be placed in the dumpster. A small sense of security washed over me in the normalness of it all, I just knew I had been imagining things last night, alone at night in an empty office area could probably do that to anyone.

Which, if you think about that, that in itself was odd. Very odd indeed...

I have never been entirely alone in those offices. During my training period, I had Maryanne with me, and when I didn't, invariably somebody always showed up to put in a little extra time.

Naturally, I pick back up this morning where I left off. I can't explain how this stuff happens to me, yet it seems to happen every time. Last week it was the ripped trash bag completely dousing me in it's contents, this week it was the shower head going out of control as I attempted to fill the mop bucket with water. Normally, I can prop the shower head on the bucket and continue to clean the bathroom as it fills. Not today. Today it decided to fall inside the bucket and literally spray the entire room from every angle. It took me forever to wipe down all of the walls.

Have I mentioned I hate this job???

Once I had completely and thoroughly soaked myself from head to toe filling the mop bucket it was time to do the floors. This is the part of the job I do like the most, this is the part where I know I'm almost done. So, I vacuum the carpets and mop the bathrooms and tile knowing I'll soon be done and everything went normal.

As usual, the last thing I always do is ensure the trash has been completely taken to the dumpster and all lights shut off. This is where the weirdness begins, AGAIN! I grab the keys from the receptionist desk for the compactor and take the last remaining bag out of the entrance way and head outside to the compactor. Nothing out of the ordinary, I unlock it, toss in the garbage, and let it run it's cycle.

On my return to the office door I find that my key will not let me in! I'm literally locked out! For at least 10 minutes I try to get back in, twisting the knob this way, pushing the door that way, nothing! Freaking out, I call Maryanne and let her know that I'm locked out and can't get back in.

No answer. She's at church.

So, I decide to go to Wal Mart and pick up a few things waiting for her to get back with me. (Thankfully she did!) I agree to meet her at the office building and we head up to the door. It still wouldn't open, or so we thought. As she backed off the door the thing popped right open. Right before my eyes the thing popped right open and she commented that someone needs to look at the door, it may be sticking.

OMG!! The door handle has to be in the upright position (this can only be achieved if you are holding the door handle) in order for the door to open. What the hell? Sticking? Sticking to what??

With Maryanne and her husband, I entered the building once again and take the last 5 minutes to hastily put the keys back on the receptionists desk and make one final walk through with them. I did not mention any of the craziness that I had experienced.

I am pleased to announce that I got rave reviews from Maryanne, she is very pleased with my work. She was actually a little glad that she got the chance to walk through with me so we could go over everything one on one, kind of like a performance evaluation.

Like a scene out of a B rated horror flick.....

My second job has begun to scare me. I can't even begin to understand what happened last night, it's all just too bizarre. Part of me is certain it was just my over active imagination, the other part KNOWS what she heard.

It all started out normal enough. I had cleaned most of the offices and had maybe 6 more to go when I began to hear footsteps. No big deal, it's not the first time somebody has shown up to put a little work in while I've been cleaning, so I blew it off and decided I would eventually meet up with them at some point in my round.

I had made my way into the Health Food Fanatic's office when I ran out of trash can liners. Thinking this to be the perfect time to see who was in, I took the long way around and walked past each of the offices to see who was in.


The place was completely empty with the exception of my now freaked out self. Trying to talk myself into imagining the whole situation, I continued on cleaning the Health Food Fanatic's office and moved on to the Clean Freak. That is when the whistling started. From off in a distance I could hear someone whistling!

By now I was panicked! I left the office and once again circled the entire section of offices looking for the whistler.


At this point, I had decided enough was enough and I was outta there. Heading back to the far corner of the offices I systematically began turning the lights off in the offices, making my way back to the front door. As I made my way through I noticed it looked awfully light in a section that I had just been through, a section that DID NOT have any lights on before, a section that I never turn the lights on in.

In returning back to that section I see one light had been flicked on!

Let me tell you, I couldn't get out of those offices fast enough!! I have no idea what happened, or if in fact someone else WAS there while I was there, but it has scared the hell right out of me!

I'm actually scared to go back and finish up today.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Governor Granholm Scandal

In a past post I had griped about the fact that I felt the Governor had distributed my email address without my consent, now I have proof.

Copied below is an email I just received spelling out the entire scheme. Another wonderful use for my misappropriated tax dollars stolen from my paycheck.

-----Original Message-----
From: Saulius 'Saul' Anuzis [SMTP:GasPetition@migop.org]
Sent: Thursday, August 10, 2006 9:13 AM
To: ssanders@xxxxxxx.com
Subject: Outraged about gas? You should be.

Dear Neighbor:

I hope you are as outraged as I am that I got your email address. You recently signed an on-line petition organized by Governor Jennifer Granholm because you were concerned about high gas prices, as we all are.

Unfortunately, instead of taking your message to Washington, Governor Granholm took your email address over to her campaign headquarters, and you started getting emails from the Granholm campaign.The fact is, your privacy was violated by Governor Granholm, who gave your personal email address to political organizations.

In addition to your email address, they also have your phone number and home address. Don't be too surprised when you start receiving Granholm campaign phone calls and literature in the mail.If you did not intend for your information to be abused in this way, please contact the Governor and tell her so.

You can reach her at:

Governor Jennifer M. Granholm
P.O. Box 30013
Lansing, Michigan 48909
PHONE: (517) 373-3400
PHONE: (517) 335-7858 -
Constituent ServicesFAX: (517) 335-6863

Rest assured, unless you have signed on to receive emails from the Michigan Republican Party, this is the last you will hear from us. Unfortunately, we cannot make the same guarantee about Governor Granholm, or any other organization that she has given your information to.

Thank you for participating in the process. I hope the fact that you have been exploited by the Governor in this way doesn't dampen your willingness to participate once again in the future.Respectfully yours,Saulius "Saul" AnuzisChairman, Michigan Republican Party

Paid for by the Michigan Republican State Committee with regulated funds.

The Case of the Missing Cheesecake

Only ONE piece of cheesecake remained in the fridge last night, this last piece had been claimed by ME. I had yet to eat a piece and was certainly not going to buy an entire cheesecake and NOT have a piece, especially when cheesecake is my absolute favorite thing in the world.

It was announced to everyone that this last piece of cheesecake was mine, any thieves would find themselves without hands if they so much as touched it.

This morning it is gone from the fridge, no evidence of it's existence whatsoever, not even a speck from the oreo cookie crust.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I'm Back

Thanks to Ben, I now have the above image haunting me. Maybe it's a good thing, it has certainly given me back the urge to put the fingers to the keyboard and document the insane situations that plague my daily life.

Last night was our first 'Dungbeetle' softball practice.

Words can not convey the sights to have been seen.

For some reason I had gotten the preconceived notion that my children might like to see their Mom out there hustling her butt in a softball practice, I couldn't have been more mistaken!! It was a nightmare. From across the field I could hear them fighting, Zach and Thomas both yelling "Mom, make him stop". From behind me I could hear Zach yelling "Mom, are you done yet?" in his sarcastic pre-teen voice. From the corner of my eye I could see Thomas wandering into the field to stand by me. Definitely the las time I bring them to a practice!

Highlights of the Practice
  • Pretty Boy Ed getting hit in the groin during his stint as catcher.
  • Getting stung by a bee twice while I covered center field.
  • Listened in horror as Ed yelled out to everyone that after practice we need to "visit Sherri's old skinny dipping creek".
  • Laughed uncontrollably at Ed's embarrassment as he realized he had said this in front of my kids.
  • Hitting the ball far enough into the field that I was able to make it to base.
  • Watching Keith slide into 3rd base in a pair of shorts.
  • Returning to work today basically ok while Keith has road rash on his legs, Joe is visiting the chiropractor after work, Ed has an irrational fear of balls flying between his legs, Carrie's arm is sore to the touch, and Deb feels like she has been steam rolled.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Taking a Break From Blog World

My heart just isn't into it at the moment. It's hard to be witty and funny when you just don't feel witty and funny, I'll be sure to keep up with the blogs of those of you who I regularly read.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Guy They Call Jug

One of the offices I clean contains an occupant that everyone calls Jug. I have not yet figured that one out, he doesn't look like a jug, I'm not quite sure how a jug acts, so I can't say he acts like one, but they call him that nonetheless.

It's kind of funny, actually. It seems that Jug has lost all ties to any identity that he was before he became Jug. Even the name plate above his door bares the name 'JUG'.

I have taken on the solemn goal to discover what Jug's real identity is.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Happy Friday!

(Hmmmm.... material for a new desktop picture??)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

(Special thanks to nevadagirl)

As if it couldn't get any worse.....

I have just been informed that our production managers softball team will be called The Dungbeetles.

What the hell??

In my worst nightmare I wouldn't want to be associated with a dungbeetle. I'm totally grossed out by this.

As if that wasn't bad enough, everyone on the team gets a cool nickname except me. I'm The Giggler! What the heck is that?? It sounds like some sort of mutant super villain.

So I googled 'the giggler' and came up with this. I'm horrified! 'The Giggler' goes around and puts poo on the shoe of parents who have disciplined their children. Ack!!!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Company Picnic

It has been announced that we will be having a company picnic this year. Already the production managers are planning to challenge the company softball team. I'm freaked out by this, I can't play softball to save my life. In fact, I vividly remember Mr. Russnell rolling the softball on the ground in 8th grade gym class just so I could hit the ball.

This is bad.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Ask Dr. Joe

(Go here for your personal evaluation.)

Personally, I find it troubling that I even consider taking such advice from someone with such shifty eyes!

Here's the scoop fellow bloggers. I have taken this photo on the sly, literally hiding from view behind shelves and boxes to snap this, in hopes that someone out there may be able to photoshop this into something I can use.

Here is my request:

This is the man responsible for my current irrational fear of flying insects. It has gone way beyond the June bug, for it seems that I now scream out in fear at my desk at just the glimpse of an insect through the corner of my eye. I am that traumatized by the June Bugs! So, for all of you creative people out there who happen to have a skill with digital images, send me your creative genius! I would love to see how you could photoshop this picture into something funny and ingenious, just drop me the photo in my email, all pictures will be posted in future blog entries. My only request is that the pictures be tasteful and rated G.

Thanks in advance to everyone who chooses to participate!

Important Update:

Somehow a praying mantis found it's way inside the top drawer of my desk today. Imagine that! Out of nowhere a bright green preying mantis just appearing out of thin air, and Joe asks me how I liked my 'little buddy'. I may just plaster every single picture I receive all over his materials area.

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