I was just thinking.....

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How was my day? Let me tell you....

Friday, December 29, 2006

What do you get when you cross a napping mother, my boys, and my new printer/scanner/copier/fax machine?

You get pictures of their butts, faces, hands, and hair.

Yes, I assure you, this is a true story, the contents of this blog post have not been altered in any way.

After having lunch with Jessica this afternoon I decided to lay down and take a nap. My only expectation from Thomas and Zachary was that they be good and stay out of mischief.

Imagine my surprise, just now, as I sat down at my desk and discovered 9 pages of body parts tucked under the keyboard.

Like I'm NOT going to notice??

I can't help but smile, at least when they're up to no good they get along well.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!!

So, here I am, 3:50 am, Christmas morning, posting on my blog. What brings me here, you ask?

Let me tell you.

Like a good Mom, I continue to feed my little guy the speel about Santa, and how he comes on Christmas Eve. In order to perpetuate this belief, I am forced to wait until Christmas Eve to put anything under the tree.

I'll be glad when he no longer believes....

After skillfully putting Thomas to sleep (and falling asleep myself in the process), I stumble down the stairs at 12:30 and set to wrapping gifts. It's amazing how much stuff a person can hide around the house! From every nook and cranny I pulled something, finally ending up with a pile in the center of my living room that I thought I would never get wrapped.

I did, however, manage to wrap it all, and it only took me 3 and a half hours. Excellent timing, I might add.

There I sat, wrapping away, tape stuck to everything in sight, with 'Carrie' playing in the background on the late night movie.

Yes, that is correct, tonight of all nights the late night movie playing on channel 45 is Stephen King's 'Carrie'.

Is there anyone else out there who sees this to be a bit odd??

At least I have survived the night, and the gifts are wrapped. Hope you all have a merry Christmas!!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Happy Friday!!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Do you smell gravy?

For 20 minutes I had thought to myself "I smell gravy, where is it coming from?"

Imagine my horror when I look down and see a big gravy spot on my left boob! I had dripped a spot of gravy when I was eating my TV dinner for lunch, and there it sat, for all the world to see!

Julie never said a word!

This smock has a curse on it, I'm certain. Since the moment I took it out of the bag, I've worn Mt. Dew, tripped over my own feet in the middle of a presentation, and now worn gravy for all the world to see.

Damn this place for making me wear a smock at work!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Did I really say that?

Last weekend, while exiting the Wal Mart, I told the jack ass who was ringing the Salvation Army bell to get the damn thing out of my face before I fling it across the parking lot.

Good Lord.... I'm certain I'm going to hell for this one.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Interesting Helen Fact #544

Helen was a hussy in her day.

With beaming pride and a smile from ear to ear, I sat and listened as Helen explained to me the circumstances of her 'love at first sight' encounter with her husband.

Helen was 19, engaged to a 35 year old, and 1 month pregnant with the baby of a 52 year old neighbor.

When she had been stopped by her future husband during a case of misidentification, she STILL chose to go out with him on a date regardless of the previous mentioned conditions.

3 weeks later, they were married.

Am I the only one out there who finds this story completely disturbing??

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Tag.... You're it!

I've been tagged by the Icelandic Goddess Terry to reveal 6 weird things about myself. Now, this should be interesting!

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the '6 weird things about you.' People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

1. I am fixated by teeth. While I may have a hard time describing the hair color or eye color of someone whom I have just met, I will always, without a doubt, be able to describe their teeth in great detail.

2. I am unable to touch raw meat. I make hamburger patties with spoons, gross out at the sight of chicken skin, and cringe when I poke a raw steak with a fork.

3. The fingernail on my right index finger is permanently stunted from typing, one fingered, on a manual typewriter when I was in 7th grade.

4. I have baby hands. When I was in 10th grade my basic comp teacher announced it to the class. One other odd thing about my hands, my fingers bend backwards way more then they should.

5. I can wiggle my ears.

6. I love to eat sandwiches comprised of 2 pieces of white bread, french onion chip dip spread thick on each slice, bbq potato chips with a slice of thick cut bologna in the center. Yum! Yum!

Now, who shall I tag?? Anyone who would like to play! Just drop me a line to let me know you've posted!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Embarrassing moment # 672

I have spit an entire mouth full of pop, including my gum, all over myself, in front of everyone.

I want to die.

Julie and Dave were sitting right across from me as I took a drink of my Mt. Dew. From the depths of my soul, I can't understand what came over me, but, the instant this pop hit my throat it just came spewing out..... Everywhere!

I turned my back to everyone, Thank God.... as the pop flew out so did my gum!

Tears rolled down my cheek as I began to cough and choke the instant the pop had exited the opening.

In the background I could hear Dave asking me if I was ok, and Julie telling Dave to hand me a tissue. You would think I could collect myself. Instead, I begin to choke and laugh at the same time!

Oh Good God, it couldn't possibly get worse.

It does.

By now, I'm literally drenched with pop. I have big wet spots on my boobs and one leg. God forbid, isn't it bad enough I've got boobs like Dolly Parton?? Let's just throw a big wet spot on top of them!!

So here comes Pat, right in the midst of it all.... Nothing like adding insult to injury. Now I have to explain the whole situation to someone who didn't have the opportunity to get the free show!

I want to die.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Ms. Saturday

After more then a year, I've been requested to take out my Ms. Saturday sash and crown and head in to work for a few minutes.

Imagine that!

Apparently, critical parts were delivered today, parts the production floor needed or they would be line down, parts that I would have to receive in and inspect before they could be sent to the floor.

I learned one very important thing.

I've forgotten how to use the bander. For the life of me, I can't understand how, I've used it a million times, yet, there I was. Floundering in front of the thing, talking to myself, chastising myself for being an idiot.

David B, of all people, happened to be walking by and showed me the error of my ways. David being the most cynical and company hating employee in the plant, the one employee who despises management most.

Needless to say, I probably gave him yet another reason to believe how inept the management team is, they can't even operate a bander.

Oh, well. What happens.... happens.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Happy Friday!!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Out of the mouths of babes.....

Scene: Thomas and I are arriving at daycare, approximately 7:10 am.

  • Thomas {smiling in excitement} I know what's the matter! {His little voice is bursting with pride.}
  • Me {puzzled expression on my face} What do you mean? What's the matter?
  • Thomas {I'm holding Thomas's hands as I help him out of the back seat of the jeep.} I know why your heart is sad.
  • Me {shocked by Thomas's statement} Why do you think my heart is sad?
  • Thomas {staring up at me, speculating in his own little 4 year old way} Your heart is sad because we need to get Christmas. When can we put up Christmas?
  • Me {stunned for a moment, not quite sure what to say} We can decorate this weekend, how does that sound?
  • Thomas {running ahead} Ok, I want to fix your heart, Mom.

I'm completely amazed by Thomas, to be quite honest. For such a little guy to be so perceptive, and to worry about such things, boggles my mind. I can't help but feel guilty that I've been displaying a behavior that has worried him, I didn't even realize I was. I guess I'm not as good at hiding things as I thought I was.

Regardless, I was so touched by him this morning, I sure do love that little bugger.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Starbucks Coffee Scandal

Today was Joe's last day of work, believe it or not, I'm sad to see him go. I think I may even miss the insects flying over the wall at me.....

He had tears in his eyes when I had to leave today. I had paged him to his desk, blue teddy bear in hand. When he rounded the corner I explained to him that I didn't want to leave without first wishing him luck and telling him good bye. I handed him the bear and told him to keep a good eye on him, and, he'd better keep him on his new desk because he loved to be seen.

That was when it happened. His eyes were moist, and all he could do was smile. We hugged for about the 7th time that day, and I had to go. I was about to cry, myself.

Damn him!

I hate when friends leave, I've seen so many people come and go over the years. It never gets any easier.

Alas, there ends the chapter in my life where I had been terrorized by Joe.

Now, for the Starbucks Coffee Scandal.

I stopped at Starbucks this morning to pick up a few things for Joe as a good luck/going away gift. Julie, Helen, and I had all pitched in so the gift would be from US, the 'thugs'.

The instant I arrived at work this morning Mary yells over at me and asks if the coffee was for her. I wanted to shoot her. Not only were we mere feet from Joe's desk, I wouldn't buy her coffee if my life depended on it. The whole BK thing that happened a few months ago have really tainted me on that subject.

So, in a hushed tone, I say 'no, the coffee is for Joe, I picked up a little something for him as a departure gift.' I left it at that and hurried to my desk.

Not wanting the coffee to get cold, I had Helen page Joe to the area while I showed the girls what I had picked up.

-A gift card for $10 at Starbucks
-A bag of house blend ground coffee
-One of the metal coffee cups that have been all the rage around the place
-And, of course, a large cup of fresh, hot coffee

Mary was at my desk before the phone even hit the cradle from Helen's page. I wanted to absolutely choke her.

What the hell??

Joe heads through the door, because we had paged him there, with Audrey hot on his heels. Now I had 2 of them in there! I could have choked them both.

The gift was NOT from them! What were they doing there.

So, I tell Joe 'The Thugs' and I had picked up a little something for him as a going away gift, I hoped he would like everything.

He was touched, you could see it. Smiling big, he looked at me, I don't think he was able to talk actually. Walking over to me, he tells me to stand up and gives me a bear hug. Then I was unable to talk, I was just so happy he liked everything.

Then he proceeded to thank everyone, AUDREY and MARY included. I wanted to choke them. In no way were they a part of it!!! Yet, there they were, taking all the credit.

Joe left the area none the wiser, I wasn't about to say anything about it. I looked at Helen, and I looked at Julie the instant Mary and Audrey left the area and I told them we knew the truth and that was all that mattered.

I sound like a scathing bitch, I realize, but I don't care.

Mary and Audrey weren't close to Joe like Helen, Julie, and I were. They can just kiss my ass.

Before I had a chance to even finish my thought Mary had appeared back at my desk with a handful of cash. Apparently they had decided to take up a quick collection for Joe's gift.

Not only did I NOT ASK for a collection, I didn't want them to be a part of it on purpose. Here they are, throwing cash at me so they can say they are.

It just burns me right up!

Some people have nerve.... What a completely tasteless and low class thing to do.

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