I was just thinking.....

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Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Candle Debacle

What do you get when you cross me, a Wal Mart pillar candle, and a pillar candle wall sconce?

You get a carpet soaked with candle wax, a fried hair dryer, and one very irate Sherri!

A few weeks ago I had held a Party Lite candle party to help out my friend Sandy. Oddly enough, even though I have very few people in attendance, I was able to wrangle up enough orders outside my party that I received $207 worth of free stuff.

I was in seventh heaven!

So, last night I decided to actually put my pillar wall sconces to use. Knowing full well that if the candles melted over I would have a mess on my hands, I decided to light the candles anyway and keep a very close eye on them.

Little did I know I would end up with the candle mess from hell.....

I lit the candles and started cleaning the living room, all the while glancing across the room now and then to make sure I didn't see anything amiss.

About 30 minutes after I had lit them I happened to notice a flash from the corner of my eye where the candles were lit.

To my horror, I discovered that one of the candles was apparently defective and the entire contents of the inside of the candle had melted out and dripped down the wall, collecting in the carpet.

I could have kicked myself!

Immediately blowing out both candles, I could not believe my eyes. While one candle barely had anything at all melted on it the other was a mere shell of a pillar candle.

Running upstairs and grabbing my blow dryer, I had remembered a trick that I heard once about getting candle wax out of stuff. Just place a paper towel over the spot and heat it, the wax would be drawn up into the paper towel.

So I did.

Only, as I'm sure you are all aware by now, my luck at the moment is localized to bad luck.

So, there I knelt, an inch of candle wax melted into the carpet before me, and a blow dryer heating up a paper towel in hopes of taking care of my disaster.

Now, I was certain I had seen the worst of it already, so it didn't even phase me when I had begun to smell a little smoke. I assumed it was the heat from the dryer cinging the paper towel.

It was not.

It was, in fact, the smell of the blow dryer burning up in my hands. 3 giant sparks and one electrical shock later I was sitting on the floor, paper towel stuck to candle wax embedded in the carpet before me, and a fried out blow dryer in my hand saying to myself, "I can't believe this is my life."

Somewhere, somehow, something has gone drastically wrong.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy is a diagnostic endoscopic procedure that visualises the upper part of the gastrointestinal tract up to the duodenum.

Believe it or not, this would be one of my recent vocabulary words from the Medical Terminology class that I'm taking.

And, yes, I am required to know how to SPELL and define this word.

Egads........

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter

I've come to realize that no matter how hard I try, or how much I want everything to work out, it never does.

I can safely say that this Easter was probably the worst Easter I've ever had.

Now, I know that Easter just isn't about gifts and candy, it's about the resurrection of Jesus.... etc, but it really hurts to not be able to do the gifts and candy.

This is the first year that I have ever had where I was unable to afford anything for my kids on easter. And, by anything, I mean ANYTHING. No candy, no toys, nothing.

I almost can't even live with myself because of it.

When I got up yesterday Charlie and the kids were already up. Zach had looked at me when I came down the stairs and asked if they really didn't get anything for Easter. I had to tell him yes, which broke my heart. I sat on the couch next to Thomas and Charlie decided to tell the kids he shot the Easter Bunny. What an ass, I could kill him pretty much most of the time.

Thomas asked me why the Easter Bunny didn't come to our house so I told him it was because we didn't have enough money to give to the Easter Bunny so he could get us goodies and toys. Like most kids, he looked at me quizzically and said ok.

I wanted to explain to the kids that it wouldn't be like this always, I wanted to tell them that I was 6 weeks behind on my unemployment checks but we had finally gotten it straightened out on Thursday, I wanted to tell them that I really wasn't a complete scum loser parent..... But I didn't.

Instead I reassured them that the Easter Bunny hadn't forgotten them, they were still going to get a visit, it just wouldn't be until this weekend. I felt like a complete lame ass.

And that was that. Not another word was said by either kid about Easter.

I have no idea if they felt hurt, or sad, or really didn't care.

And to be honest, I think I like it better that way.

I wish I could say this would be the end of the drama for the day, but it was not.

Like we do every year, Charlie, the kids, and I all dressed up and went down to Charlie's mom's house for Easter dinner. While I have absolutely no idea how it happened, we somehow managed to all pile out of the car and lock Hannah, along with the car keys, inside my car.

Personally, I think it was because the car is posessed.

So, needless to say, since I was already having the most terrible day, this only made things that much worse. Charlie and I were yelling at each other out in the drive way as I turned to head into the house and see if I could borrow a vehicle to go get my spare keys. Not realizing my mother-in-law's driveway was a complete sheet of ice, I fell flat on my back and totally wrenched my bad knee.

I was a crying, sobbing mess.

Thank God Hannah was asleep or she would have been screaming and crying locked up inside that car all by herself.

I sure hope things get better.

Monday, March 10, 2008

You know you're a redneck when....
















You come home from class and find your 5 year old wearing a Kohl's bag.
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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Aren't we just the cutest?

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I gave Hannah her first 'real' tub bath today. Yep, that's right, Hannah, her duckie, and a million bubbles in the big tub.

I don't think she knew what to make of it, at first. The look of terror in her eyes, the way she pulled her feet up tight to her body when I let them dangle in the water.....

So I ended up joining her. Such a funny little thing, she is. Completely amazed by the bubbles, after about the fifth time she reached for the bubbles only to discover she had nothing in her hands she gave out the angriest little scream.

I couldn't help but laugh, I think she might have her mother's temper.

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