Third Times a Charm

Even as I sit here typing this, I can not believe I am actually pregnant. I'm pretty much horrified most of the time, to be honest. I think about mini vans and maternity clothes and I cringe.....

But, here I am, and, there isn't much I can do about it now, except, learn to accept it and move on.

Something I have discovered, this third time around, is that only 8 weeks into this thing I've already begun to outgrow my jeans. If you could see me now, you would see a grouchy looking woman sitting at a desk before her computer wearing a pink t-shirt and faded blue jeans with the button undone because she is no longer able to sit while her pants are still done up.

8 weeks!!!

What am I going to look like when I get to be full term????? Will I be the woman on the news who needs a fork lift to remove her from her home just to get her to the hospital to have a baby? Am I going to be so big I'll need one of those detested motorized carts just to pick up a loaf of bread at the grocery store?

I can see it now....

There I sit, ass cheeks hanging from each side of the seat of a motorized shopping cart, orthopedic shoes cutting into the skin of my cankles, speeding through Wal Mart knocking people out of my way to get to the pickles and ice cream, face twisted into a maniacal grin as I laugh insanely.

God help me!

As if they weren't already big enough......

With my newly discovered pregnancy I have also discovered some of the painful side effects.

The one foremost on my mind - sore boobies.

By sore I refer to as completely untouchable, so painful even a bra is unbearable. Let's not forget they've also INCREASED in size! As if that was even possible!

Interesting Sherri fact of the day:

I made myself a make-shift bib out of a napkin and wore it while I ate lunch today because I was afraid I would drop food onto my gi-normous chest while I ate today.

Ain't life grand??

It's Official

I've procured the test, urinated on the test strip, and cried over the results.

I'm pregnant.

I just pray to God this one is a girl.

It's 2:14 AM.....

Do you know what's on TV???

As luck would have it I absolutely can't sleep tonight. I've tried it all, reading, cleaning, lying in bed trying like hell to will myself to sleep... Nothing.

So, I get up and try to watch a little TV. What do you suppose I find?

Nothing but infomercials and porn.

Porn!!

I have a nearly 13 year old son... I had no idea they played these kinds of movies during the night!

Ugh!

Needless to say, since I am uninterested in infomercials and porn, here I sit, listlessly wasting away the nighttime hours in front of the computer.

I'm certain I'll be a zombie tomorrow at work.

A bottle of wine and a margarita later.....

I find myself sitting in front of the boob tube watching Sponge Bob Squarepants discussing Poop and scrubbing buns.

Have I lost my mind?

Yes, actually, I think perhaps I have.

I've been day dreaming the past few days, dreams of leaving everything behind and starting over from scratch somewhere. I'm certain this is just a fleeting thing, but I can't help but wish for it.

I just hope I come back to my senses soon.