The Legend of JW - Part 2

On February 1st I posted a little something about a guy I referred to as JW. My husband had spent the evening with him and a few other guys at a bar getting rowdy.

Well, looks like JW was up to his old tricks that night as well. Julie has just shown me a local news paper with his name listed in the police blotter section, arrested for drunk driving. Imagine that!

I'm surprised I haven't heard the scoop from my husband yet, I'm sure there will be some sort of heroic twist added somehow. This guy is such a letch.

The Natives are Restless

The production managers meeting didn't go too well today. It's not a good sign when one of the production managers picks up and leaves the meeting on a huff. We are supposed to be a team, unified in our task to achieve company requirements and expectations. I'm certain there is just too much stress at the moment, today being end of month and everything. It always gets hectic at end of month.

If I were RB, I would definitely be watching my back though, he is likely to end up boiling in a stew pot over an open fire, restless natives dancing around him in a circle, poking their spears at him.

The New Look

I really liked this photo, in fact, I changed it to my profile image.

Deciding to try it out, I commented on Jessica's blog to see how it looked, and I looked HORRIBLE!! My face was entirely pinched up, I appeared to have been sucking on a lemon. It looked so bad, she was horrified for me! I'm fairly certain the comments are still there, if you're in for a good laugh. LOL

On an unrelated side note: While handing me a molassas cookie, Mary proceeds to tell me how she had just blown her nose so hard stuff flew out of her tear ducts and hit her glasses. I don't really know what's worse, handing me a cookie with the hands that held the tissue she was using, or the fact that stuff flew out of her tear duct and landed on her glasses. Needless to say, I did NOT eat the cookie.

On yet another unrelated side note: Bill has just paged me to call his extension. Rather then merely say 'Sherri Sanders please call....' over the loud speaker, he chose to say 'Sherri sanders, stickwoman extrordinair, please call....', I thought I was going to die when I heard that!

Aging Baby Boomer Songs

(List forwarded in an email from a coworker)

Some of the artists of the ‘60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to
accommodate aging baby boomers.

They include:

1. The Bee Gees -- How can you mend a broken hip

2. Herman’s Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a lovely walker

3. Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I was havin’ a flash.

4. Ringo Starr -- I get by with a little help from Depends

5. Roberta Flack -- The first time, ever I forgot your face

6. Johnny Nash -- I can’t see clearly now

7. Paul Simon -- Fifty ways to lose your liver

Just a Day

It's been a heck of a day already.

Last night I let Thomas have some chocolate pudding and a little glass full of coke before he went up to take his bath. A seemingly innocent gesture on my part, little did I know what consequences it held! After his bath he ran into my room and started jumping on the bed, not a good thing. After about the 7th bounce he threw up all over, not just once, but 3 times. Ack!!

Nothing like doing laundry until 11:30 at night so I will have some clean blankets on my bed.

Today starts out just as bad. I get in the jeep to start it up, dead battery. Yesterday when Zach brought in the groceries he didn't shut the back door tight enough and the interior light was on all day and all night. (The back door has never been the same since the rear end collision. You have to literally slam it shut in order for it to close tightly.) This has got to be the millionth time this has happened now. Guess what that means! I have to drive Charlie's nasty disgusting jeep to drop the kids off and go to work. It is by far the most horrible vehicle in the parking lot. You just can't miss the plexi glass back window, the back seat full of gas cans and fishing buckets, the passenger door with duct tape holding the window up, heck, I can't believe how well this thing runs, it looks like it's about to just collapse.

It's a sad day here at work. Last weekend there was an accident near my house that killed a 15 year old boy and his drivers ed teacher. I just found out this morning that several people who work here were in some way shape or form related to the victims. Apparently the boy was the only child of a single mother, she is absolutely devastated. The instructor..... he was a special ed teacher for a neighboring town, married with 2 young children.

From what I understand, the boy was driving a Taurus and had veered into oncoming traffic, hitting a van head on. Nobody knows why it happened, but most feel it was from inexperience driving on the slushy roads. It's just such a sad tragedy.

Aren't they beautious?

I love bracelets! Just about as much as I love shoes!

Today while I was in Wal Mart I happend to see these through the corner of my eye, and I had to have them. They will go perfectly with my orange crinkle shirt!

As I was leaving the store, my bracelets set off the theft alarm. (Yeah, now that's totally embarrassing.) I smiled at the old guy who was at the entrance and held out my receipt. Apparently this happens all the time, he immediately asked if I had any CD's, electronic devices, or jewelry in my bags. So, I pulled out the bracelet to let the guy scan it. Sure enough, it was the bracelet that had set off the alarm. Looking the receipt over, the guy looks at me and laughs, "Would this be considered a bangle?" Poor guy, he was totally bewildered.

For the chicks out there: I rented the movie In Her Shoes this weekend and I absolutely loved it. It's a story about 2 sisters and their up and down relationship and sisterly bond. Definitely just the right mix of comedy, drama, and romance. It made me wish I had a sister. 

The Weather Forecast for Today

Hello folks, Sherri Sanders here with the up-to-the-minute blogger weather update.

In today's weather the Gaylord viewing area is expected to see a light dusting of snow with an occasional uprise or flurry.

Please be sure to take time and leave a little early if you do plan on traveling, the slippery snow covered roads do pose a hazzard.

Let's check in with Blake on Sports...

Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

I sure hope so.... I just woke up from a 4 hour nap!

Because of end of month and need for revenue the whole plant was put on a mandatory Saturday this week, to make up for the snow day last Friday. Ugh!! Nothing like spending your Saturday at work for free, it would be different if I got overtime or something.

So, there I was, at 4:30 in the morning trekking off to work in a half zombied state. It should be a sin to force someone to work that early, that's one thing I hate most about working Saturdays, you have to start at 5am. I hadn't even slept long enough to get morning breath yet. Heck, my eyes weren't even crusted all the way shut yet when the alarm went off. I felt cheated.

I was bummed right out when I got to work and found our servers were still crashed. That meant, no blogging, and no reading other blogs. I was devastated. LOL

I did get a ton of stuff accomplished, so, that was a good thing. I also learned that, if left to sit, the acetone in the conformal coat room will eat through a paper coffee cup. Yikes!

I could hear my pillow calling my name as I drove home from work today, jeez I was tired. I don't think I was home 2 minutes before I went back to bed. I don't know what it is, but, if I don't get a certain amount of sleep, I just feel like crap. Head hurts, body aches, irritable.

I did happen to see one very interesting thing as I was driving home. One of the (widowed) employees where I work lives down the road a few miles from me, I pass her house everyday. Today, however, I happen to see one of our very married engineers shoveling out her driveway. Hmmmm.....

On an unrelated side note: Our very own engineer Shawn has taken the bronze in curling, which is an amazing feat for him. Apparently this is the first time America has ever medaled in curling. Congratulations Shawn.

Stuff that makes you go hmmmm.......

Just how dirty does a sailor have to be to become widely known by other sailors as Dirty Al?

No offense to any sailors out there, but, come on, the one thing that goes hand in hand with sailors is lude, crude behavior. For instance, when a person uses profanity constantly, they are described as 'cursing like a sailor'.

Just before I left work today Viagra Man was recounting a tale from when he was in the Navy that revolved around a man named 'Dirty Al'. Swear to God. I assumed he was talking about his hygiene and asked why he was allowed to be so unkempt, I was under the impression the military was very strict about dress and behavior.

I have never seen this guy laugh so hard in my life! He then explained 'Dirty Al' was the proverbial dirty old man. You name it, he's done it, he's a sailor after all.

Good Lord!

The Luncheon was a Success

I have to say, it is kind of odd to be sharing luncheons with my work place nemesis all the time. She and I may not exactly be friends, but our employees have no idea.

One thing I can say about my departments, they are quite a bunch. Loud, funny, jovial, I may have my gripes, but they are mostly a great bunch to work with. It's amazing to see them when they are relaxed and having a good time, you never quite know just what is going to pop out of the woodwork.

Just to add a little excitement to the lunch, I decided to order a cake that read "In Honor of Dave's Last Day". (Dave being the SQE) I also made sure to place a nice white box on the conference table next to his cake.

Just to clear things up for everyone, it is not Dave's last day.

Without a hitch, the plan fell perfectly into place. At 11:30 I was paged to the front office to pay for the food, Stephanie and I carried everything to the conference room, and we all assembled waiting for Dave's arrival.

Dave shows up, takes a look at the cake, sees the box, and says "Is there something I don't know about??"

So funny!

Today's Menu

BBQ Chicken Pizza

Chicken Parmazetti Pizza

Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza

Bacon and Pepperoni Pizza

Pepperoni Pizza

Ham Pizza

Yellow Cake with White Cream Frosting

Mt. Dew, Pepsi, Coke, Diet Pepsi

Woman's Perfect Breakfast

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

They are Driving Me Crazy

I've had a non stop string of people at my desk this morning. All of them wanting to chat about meaningless nonsense and stupid crap.

It's driving me crazy! I have stuff to do! That pizza luncheon isn't going to plan itself!

To top it off, Sandy came back here and we did our nails again, only, this time, we did Helen's too. What was I thinking??

Yeah, it's definitely time to put my nose to the grindstone. It's just so tough to do....

Because I'm in the mood for a little Ozzy tonight

Ozzy Osbourne - No More Tears


Provided by VideoCodes4U.com

(must press play to listen)

Quite possibly the most disgusting thing you will ever hear me say

All I can say is, some people have no shame. I've witnessed disgusting before, but this really takes the cake.

(The identity of this coworker shall remain anonymous even though I know he could care less whether I mentioned it or not.)

Anonymous and I are standing near my desk talking about tomorrows luncheon that I'm supposed to be putting together. (Wish me luck, I haven't even started. I plan on winging it, it's always worked in the past.) After a brief lull in conversation, anonymous passes gas, very loudly, and laughs. Staring in horror, I can't believe what has just happened. Grossed out, I walk away, leaving him standing at my desk.

Unfortunately, the story gets worse.

Several minutes later, I return to my desk and find Dave milling around, looking at a print on the cart near my desk. Looking up at me, he says "Mmmm.... smells like someone's cooking beans back here, was Joe eating at his desk again?"

I thought I was going to die. Not only could I not stop laughing, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth either.

Not a whole lot to say today

I'm feeling 100% better.

But, I've got nothing to say. No humor, no wit, no charm. Just blah. And a pile of work to do because I went home sick yesterday.

Hope you all have an excellent day.

For the inquiring mind

This is a can of Vernors. It's ginger ale, something I drink when I'm not feeling to swell.

It's Alive......

Like the dedicated employee that I am, I got up and went to work this morning.

That only lasted about 45 minutes. After my first frantic trip to the restroom, I decided work was not the place for me. I feel sorry for the girl who was applying makeup at the sink when I ran through. Hearing another woman throw up is not the way I want to start my day.

So, I went home, chatted a bit, then went back to bed. I think I may have weathered the storm, the stomach cramps are now gone and I have successfully kept down a can of vernors.

Next step, solid food.

It's 11:46, I'm wide awake....

and not feeling well.

I had a very bad headache all day today, now it has turned into muscle ache and upset stomach. I'm pretty sure I have finally come down with whatever it was that Thomas had last week. This really sucks. I really hate to throw up.

And, there is absolutely nothing on TV. I happen to be unfortunate enough to live far enough out of town that I can't get cable TV so I only get 3 TV stations, all of which are currently running those stupid talk-show infomercials.

For God's sake, there are a million people out there who work a second shift job, the least they could do is put a little quality programming on for them when they get off work. That was one of my biggest gripes when I worked on second shift. I would get off at 12:30, get home, and there would be nothing but home shopping network on TV. All night.

Which brings me hear, to my blog, whining about not feeling well, griping about nothing on TV, seriously considering whether or not I should try to drink another can of pop, I'm thirsty, I might be able to keep this one down.

Which brings up another gripe of mine. Why is it that when I'm sick, I suffer alone. But, when anyone else is sick, I'm forced to hold vigil with them until they are feeling better? It's not fair.

And the award for scum mom of the century goes too.....

Sherri Sanders, for her inability to chew gum and pick her son up from school at the same time.

Scene: I am sitting at my daycare ladies house, writing out a check.

Me: Do you know what the date is today?

Kathy: Um, Tuesday, the 21st.

Me: Oh My God!! I was supposed to pick Zach up at 4:00! What time is it??

Kathy: {looking at me with raised eyebrows} 4:15

Me: {panicking} Oh My God! I've gotta go!

Speeding away from Kathy's house, I curse myself for forgetting, again! Poor kid, he might develop a complex over this. Pulling into the parking lot at the school, I see Zach waiting for me at the door.

Me: Hey, kid, guess what I did....

Zach: You forgot and picked Thomas up first again. Mrs. Wright wants us to wait until she sees you.

Me: {horribly embarrassed} Ok, did she say why?

Zach: She just wants to make sure I don't leave with a stranger.

A burgundy car pulls up and parks next to me. It's Zach's switch teacher, Mrs. Wright.

Me: Hi there... {getting out of Jeep} sorry I'm late. I totally spaced out the intermurials.

Mrs. Wright: No problem, I've been there myself.

Me: Thanks for staying with Zach, I appreciate it. {Zach and Thomas are now out of the Jeep, standing next to me.}

Cell phone rings, 2 weeks ago Julie and I were having fun and downloaded 'Afternoon Delight' as my ring. Mrs. Wright gives me an odd look as she hears it go off. Glancing down, I see that it is Kathy.

Me: Hello

Kathy: Did you forget something? {laughter}

Me: I don't think so

Kathy: Well, on your way back through, you may want to pick up your purse.

Me: Oh my God, I forgot my purse!

Thomas: Oh crap, damn it.

Ready to crawl into a hole and die, I throw my hands up in the air and laugh. "This has been a bad day" I say, thankfully, Mrs. Wright laughs with me. Yikes!

10 things I did today that I probably shouldn't have

1. Get out of bed.
2. Consume a million hershey's kisses for breakfast.
3. Offer my assistance on a project that Mr. Brownstar is working.
4. Remove my nail polish with the acetone in the conformal coat room.
5. Paint my nails while sitting at my desk.
6. Chat with an hourly employee while painting my nails.
7. Resist the urge to strangle the irritating truck driver who never brushes his teeth.
8. Wore a turtle neck sweater. It's fricking hot in here!
9. Drank 2 bottles of water. Now I have to use the restroom with the dead fly carcass that has been stuck to the wall for 2 years.
10. Offer to put together a pizza luncheon for my departments and the RMA department. What was I thinking???

My Mother-in-Law is a geriatric Bo Derek

9 years ago my father-in-law passed away leaving my mother-in-law in an absolute state of loss. They were high school sweethearts married right out of school, had 5 kids together, enjoyed a very active life. When he died it was as if part of her died with him.

It was when Janet's good friend from school became a widow that she finally began to live her life again. The two women were close to begin with, now even more so with the death of their husbands in common. They began taking cruises all over the world, just to experience the most out of life, sometimes regretting they didn't take the time when their spouses were still alive. In fact, just recently, they just got back from a 2 week Caribbean Cruise.

This being her second day back, she invited us all down to her house for dinner tonight. Imagine my surprise when she answered the door with her beaded up braided hair. Apparently she and Percy had paid a woman on the beach to braid their hair on one of their ports. I could just picture her and Percy running across the beach in their butt hider bathing suits, beaded hair flowing about them. (Ugh, I know, bad visual. But, to be honest, she doesn't look a day over 50.)

For the next hour she showed me photos of her trip. Such gorgeous places she stopped! I was envious. I had to laugh as she pulled out a picture every now and then where she was posing with a street vendor, or a waiter on the ship, or a couple of men she happened across at a bus stop, she even had a picture of her with a couple of island police men. She looked like she was having such a good time.

On my list of things I want to do before I die, I'm adding take a cruise. Even if I have to take it by myself, I'm going to take a cruise.

My Word Cloud

If you made a word cloud out of existing words on your blog, what would it look like?

If people had to describe your blog by what words were on your word cloud,
what would they say?

If you had to pick your favorite word from MY word cloud,
what would it be?

Special thanks to Damasta for allowing me to steal her idea. Make your own here.

And the stick man lives.....

Last week this was forwarded to me in an email.

I can't help it, I laughed my ass off, and then forwarded it on to other unsuspecting individuals. Yes, sick and twisted, I know.

One of the individuals I happened to pass it along to was a former boss of mine, a tall skinny guy.

He opens the email, then calls me and asks "So, what are you trying to tell me, I'm a stick man?"


I reply "Well, if you are, then you're the last of your kind."

"You know what that means, don't you?" he asks.

Being every much the smart ass I am, I reply "Hmmmm.... that you're not getting any??" after which, I laughed until my sides hurt.

This has become a running joke between the two of us. Every time I see him now I greet him with 'hey stickman', for which he replies 'hey trouble'.

So today I pass him in the main isle and greet him "Hey Stickman, what are you up to?"

For which he replies "Oh, just out trying to light some fires."

Do you have a special musical talent??

Now, these guys have talent.

Hmmm... I'll bet the warm up exercises are interesting.

Have you ever cried during a movie?

Odd as it may sound, I happen to be one of those people who rarely shed a tear during a movie. It's not that I'm unemotional, because, I really am an emotional person. My feelings are easily hurt, I tend to be over sensitive, and I cry.

I just don't cry during movies. What really fascinated me about this subject, this morning, is that every single male manager in the production managers meeting admitted to getting teary eyed over a movie. I was kind of shocked, actually, that they would admit to something like that.

Naturally, they all claimed to wear body armor at work and check their emotions at the door, but, is that really something you can do? It's almost impossible for me to do that.

And, I'm the one who has 'calloused' tear ducts.

(Yes, when I admitted that I rarely cry during a movie, I was accused of having calloused tear ducts. LOL)

Good Morning Everyone

Sherri here, taking you on a brief tour of her snowy prison. Are there any questions before our first stop on the tour? Ok then, be sure to bundle up, it's a tad bit chilly outside. 

A balmy 3 degrees out this morning, folks. Looks like we're in the midst of a heatwave.... Sunscreen and sunglasse are available at the gift shop, located directly to the left of the souvenir axes.

My husband's jeep burried in the snow from the blizzard's aftermath. Believe it or not, it has only been parked in this spot for 2 days. Hopefully we won't be in need of a quick get away.

My poor little hobo....

Perhaps he could take refuge in one of the snow forts Zachary has built in the snow hills in front of the house? 

The snow hills in front of my house.... Have I mentioned how much I hate snow??

For the first year in quite a few, the snow has reached the top of my mailbox.

(Yes, as embarrassing as it might be, that is my fishing lure mailbox.) 

And this concludes our tour for today folks, hope you all enjoyed your peek at my snow bound life. Thank God I only have 2 more months of this to endure. 

I Just Love this Song

What better way to spend a 1 degree, blizzarding misery of a day, then watching movies, I say.

We ended up renting The Dukes of Hazzard even though I heard it wasn't all that great.

When I was a kid, I loved The Dukes of Hazzard. Many hours were spent with my brother and I and the neighbor kids from across the street, Dixie and Craig, pretending we were redneck 'relation' of the Dukes. Craig had an absolute uncanny impression of the General Lee, he had that horn blast down pat.

Zachary and Thomas loved the movie, then again, they have never watched any of the original episodes. I hate to say it, but, even though I was warned, I was still disappointed in the movie. Maybe it's just me, but, it just wasn't up to par.

I do like the original Nancy Sinatra version better, unfortunately, the only version they had on this site was the Jessica Simpson remake, I would have loved to post both versions. (Must press play to listen)

Jessica Simpson - These Boots Are Made For Walki...


Provided by VideoCodes4U.com

I've grown up to be the worlds most embarrassing mom....

Scene: Zach, Tony, Thomas sitting in back seat. Tony and Zach are telling me about how much fun they had the night before. I'm in the front seat driving, I notice Tony's voice seems a bit odd.

Me: Tony, are you feeling ok?

Tony: Yes.

Me: Your voice sounds funny, are you sure.

Tony: {turning red, looking out window} Yeah, I'm ok.

Me: {Realizing that I have just embarrassed the heck out of a preteen boy because his voice is changing} Oh my God.

Zach: What?

Me: What are we having for lunch? {Trying like heck to change the subject as quickly as possible.}

Thomas: Are you sick Tony? {Situation much worse than I had imagined. A three year old can say the same phrase over and over for hours.}

Me: Thomas, what are we having for lunch? How about pizza?

Thomas: {Big smile, crisis situation past} Pizza.... Pizza.... Pizza....

Me: Ok, pizza it is.

Yes, folks, I have morphed into every kids worst nightmare, the clueless mom who draws attention to everything. I had such high hopes that I would end up the cool young mom!!!

Cheney Jokes

Ok, I can't resist. I happened upon this site and it totally cracked me up.

"Kind of a sad study out today that single women over the age of 35 are more likely to be shot by the vice president than to find a husband." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." --David Letterman

"Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." --Jon Stewart

"The Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78- year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Wittington's face." --"Daily Show" correspondent Rob Corddry

"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." --Jay Leno

"Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!" --Jay Leno

"This is a great story. You've got the Vice President, a shotgun, a bunch of rich guys hunting tiny little birds. The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if he shot Michael Jackson." --Jimmy Kimmel

What a Day for a Snow Day

Yes, folks, I have the day off today, our entire plant closed down due to inclement weather.

Believe it or not, they even announced our plant closing on the radio and on the little blue bar that scrolls across the bottom of the TV screen with the school closings.

Special thanks to Jessica for alerting me to that tidbit of information last night, I had no idea our closing would be so important that it would require viewing coverage. The sarcasm and teasing, I could have done without, though, Jessica. LOL!

Seriously, when the decision was made yesterday, we were literally in the midst of a blizzard. Several inches of accumulation had already fallen and more then half the plant was preparing for the worst, already scheduling inclement weather time for today. I was amongst those individuals. When I had gone home for lunch and my road was still not plowed from the day before, and already beginning to drift shut, I was preparing for the worst.

As always, that little twist of irony, it's not even snowing out right now. And, my road is totally plowed. I'm even considering going to town with Thomas and doing a little shopping.

For everyone out there working their tails off (Jessica), sucks to be you! :D
For the rest of you guys, hope you're having an excellent day!

And the award for Manager of the Year goes to.....

Sherri Sanders, for her willingness to play Helen's new cd, burned especially for her by The Banjo Picker.

(Dear God, someone please save me!!!)

Cupcakes anyone??

http://media.putfile.com/Doughboy-Accident

So cute I had to post!

I'm Grossing Out

Certain things just totally disgust me.

Hearing people eat is one of them. It's like hearing nails on a chalkboard, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

I'm currently sitting across from Helen, who is very noisily sucking on a sucker. I literally want to ram the thing down her throat, I'm so grossed out. She keeps pulling it out of her mouth, noisily, and looking at it, and putting it back in. Over and over, and it's clicking on her teeth too.

Ack!!! Make it stop!!!

My Fellow Coworker

It's not very often a person can say they have an Olympic contender working for the same corporation they do.

I originally wasn't even going to post anything about this, it gives away the company I work for. But, this guy really deserves some credit. All week we have all been following his status, even though we don't work in the same plant, or even in the same state, he is still our coworker.

Good Luck Shawn.

Good Morning Folks, and Happy Valentines Day!

It is once again time for America's favorite past time......

What was I thinking???

Last night my husband and I decided to go out and celebrate our anniversary/valentines day with a nice meal and a few drinks. Seemingly harmless to the normal couple, recipe for disaster for us. LOL!

I started the evening with a strawberry margarita. Yummy!! I love those damn things, normally can't stop at one, last night was no exception. So, on the second strawberry margarita we placed our orders for dinner, and I ordered yet another strawberry margarita.

Feeling good, feeling happy, feeling relaxed, good food in my stomach, I ordered a fourth strawberry margarita. Now, this fourth margarita was the actual turning point from 'feeling good' to 'feeling drunk'. And what do you suppose my 'feeling drunk' self wanted to do last night after we finished our meal??

Why, shop at Wal Mart because "OMG!! We have to pick up some toilet paper, we don't have any toilet paper!!" (Yes, unfortunately, those are my exact words that I exclaimed as we drove past Wal Mart. And, no, we did not need to make the emergency trip to Wal Mart.)

As you all can pretty much guess, I made a complete ass out of myself at Wal Mart. There's just nothing like laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing, conversing with absolute strangers, and touching one on one moments over a roll of toilet paper.

Ugh!!! All I can say is, thank God for repressed memory!

In Today's Production Managers Meeting

• A 'first bra' experience was revealed to the group. You know things have gotten too personal between a group of coworkers when you can comfortably reveal the personal reflections of your first bra.
• It was revealed that only one of us has a tattoo, that person not being me. I was asked to disrobe and prove to the group I, in fact, do not have any body art.
• I have realized that I, too, am old. I actually started a sentence with "Kids today......". Better start stocking up on the support hose now.
• The action item for today was for each of us to come up with an intensely personal revelation to share with the group tomorrow. Hmmmm..... should I share the accidental flashing episode that happened at the Christmas party 4 years ago??

Death of a Friend

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

-Harriet Beecher Stowe, Author


My husband and I went to a fund raising benefit, earlier today, for a friend of his that is dying of cancer. Donny wasn't there when we first got there, Donny being the friend who has cancer, everyone was milling around, chatting, and mingling. Spirits seemed to be pretty high, lot's of old friends getting a chance to catch up on old times.

Shortly after they began serving the food, Donny and his wife arrived, the whole hall fell quite. It was sad, and touching, and just plain awe inspiring to see him. Although my husband has seen him recently, I had not, and I was not expecting to see the frail slip of a man who passed through those doors. It scared me.

Death scares me. My palms sweat, my heart beats fast, an overwhelming urge to flee comes over me, I can't help it. I stayed with the kids at the table while Charlie went up and shook his hand, give him a hug, and shared what will probably be the last few words they get a chance to exchange.

When I was 20 I experienced 9 deaths over the course of a year and a half. I firmly believe this is where my irrational fear of death started, I've never gotten over the grief I experienced. One of the final deaths being that of my father-in-law. He was such a good man, always had a kind word for everyone, always took care of his family, always treated me well. We had spent so much time at my husbands parents house that I got to see first hand as this strong kind man suffered and died before my eyes.

Something, if given a choice, I never want to see again. I can't help it.

Just because.....

Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way


Provided by VideoCodes4U.com

I absolutely love this song, I always have. When I hear this song I still picture my 18 year old self, sitting on a bean bag in my first apartment, staring at an ancient color TV propped up on milk crates, using a fork to change the channels because, if you did it just right, the knob would sit half way between 2 different channels and we could watch HBO.

Prelude to an Anniversary

This is my husband and I on our wedding day, 4 years ago, in the Shalimar Wedding Chapel, Las Vegas. I can't believe we will have been married for 4 years on Tuesday.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend, I'll be spending mine on good old Fletcher's Pond, ice fishing. Ack!!

At least he's decided to make it a weekend, instead of actually spending the day on our anniversary fishing. 

All in a days work

Lucky me, I get to witness first hand as one of my employees is confronted by her ex husband in the parking lot. It doesn't help that he comes driving up in a Hummer H3, and she's sitting out there in a tiny little Saturn.

The more horrible part, the ex husband is here to eat lunch with his fiancé, who happens to be the ex best friend of the scorned ex wife.

Leave the ball of sunshine at the door, it's time for a shit storm.

Don't you just love a meeting that starts out with this phrase?? Only good things to come! Wish I had brought my umbrella.....

It's going to be a tough day today. Not enough sleep last night. Bitchy employees. I'm on my second Mt. Dew already, and it's only 9:21. I have it under good authority that Joe is going to somehow try to sabotage my computer. I've got everyone watching my desk like a hawk, you think maybe he's a little upset about the snow piles?? LOL

Today is Chinese food Friday and I have the perfect prank to pull. I have removed the regular fortune from a fortune cookie and replaced it with a paper that said "That wasn't chicken".

Too funny!! Maybe it's the lack of sleep..... or the 2 Mt. Dews I've already had this morning..... I can't wait to see the persons face who ends up with this cookie.

Ugh!!

Yeah, it's 10:44 pm, I'm wide awake with a sick kid who has just thrown up in my bed, on the couch, and now on the carpet next to my feet. Not a good night!

Things that make me go hmmmm......

(This post possible because of the wonderful people at McDonald's. Word of caution to anyone planning on frequenting the Gaylord McDonald's, eat at own risk.)

• Eating McDonald's for lunch even though I spent a good 20 minutes chatting about how unhappy I am with my weight gain.
• Placing a cashier at the window who is incapable of simple mathematics. God forbid you, at the last minute, say "Oh, I've got 18 cents, hang on", if she's already punched in the total, you'll be there forever while she gets the manager to help her count back change.
• People handling food with band aids on their hands. That's just plain wrong.....
• Opening your double cheeseburger box to find an unceremonious mess awaiting you. Do they really put any effort into this? Or, is it a game, see who can make this damn thing from 20 feet.
• 5 people cleaning the lobby while one girl tends register during the lunch rush. Maybe if they were behind the counter they would have the combined math skills to count back change??
• No clean tables in the lobby even though there are 5 people supposedly cleaning it.

Implied Intelligence

Have you ever crossed your legs while sitting for so long your foot fell asleep?

That would be be me, today, in the production managers meeting, listening as the plant manager discussed overtime needs, etc. At first you don't even realize what's happening. A slight tingly sensation at best. It's when you get up to walk away that it hits you.

Foot dragging, half dead, coma inducing tingles that run up the length of your leg. Not pretty! 'How did I let this happen??' you ask yourself. 'OMG! How embarrassing!' you scold yourself as you explain to everyone how your foot has fallen asleep, you are not experiencing the beginning symptoms of some kind of a stroke.

Please tell me I'm not the only person out there that ends up doing this kind of stuff.....

Stir Crazy

What is it about snow that makes me go stir crazy? I feel like that guy from 'The Shining', before I know it, I'm going to be cruising around my house in a half crazed state from snow bound dementia. Better hide the axes!

I just can't wait for summer. I want to be able to sit out on my porch, and plant flowers, and attempt to finish staining my deck. This might just be the year I finally complete that project! Just being able to sit in the sun for a while would do me a world of good. I've so got the winter time blah's.

It's just so depressing to look out the window and see so much snow. Maybe it's just the shortened days, maybe I just need one of those light things people in northern climates use to stave off depression during their extended periods of darkness.

The Great Gas War

The new Glens Gas Stop in town has totally sent the other gas stations in a tail spin. From the minute it opened it's doors, it has literally been all out war.

For the first time since more then a year ago, gas was lowered to $1.99 a gallon this morning. Cars were lined up down the middle of main street waiting their chance for reasonable gas. The amazing thing was, even thought the other gas stations had followed suit, people were still waiting to stop at Glens. Retribution, I suppose, for the years and years that Johnson has monopolized the gas prices here in town. If it weren't for the Glens Gas Stop, which is independently owned by Spartan, Johnson would have continued to gouge us with gas prices that were out of sight.

We actually spent quite a bit of time talking about this at the production managers meeting this morning. Funny how something so basic as gasoline can have such a huge impact on your life. The higher the gas prices, the more things cost, the less you drive, the more you worry about how fuel efficient your vehicle is. 2 years ago I didn't even know we bought oil and barrels. Today, I can tell you the cost of a barrel on an almost daily basis.

On a somewhat related side note: While I was at the gas station this morning, getting my $1.99 gas, I witnessed a man lift his shirt, pull belly button lint from his stomach, stare at it, pull his shirt back down, then look at me and smile. I'm sure he mistook my stare of disgust for a gaze of admiration. LOL

All about shoes

Last Saturday, as promised, I took Zachary in to get a new pair of Heelys. Apparently, at the moment, they are all the rage. Who would have thought a tennis shoe with a wheel in the sole would be that popular??

The amazing part of shopping with a preteen kid is just how expensive everything is. Naturally, they can't pick something cheap to lust after, it has to be the most expensive thing in the store. I find it amazing that I myself bought 3 pairs of shoes that day, the sum total of all 3 pairs combined didn't even cost a third of that one pair I bought for Zach. Yikes!

I also discovered my 11 year old son has a mans size 9 foot. Can you imagine that? His feet are bigger then his dads feet by a whole size.

I'm Here!

Holy cow the roads are bad! I made it to work without a problem though. More then half the plant has called in, it's an absolute skeleton crew out there. Only 2 other managers, beside myself, are here yet.

Blast from the Past

Guns N Roses - November Rain


Provided by VideoCodes4U.com

In 1991, this was one of my absolute favorite songs!! I can still remember sitting at my friend Krystyn's house, watching MTV for hours on end, laughing at her brother Terry as he attempted to play the guitar. Yeah, nice I was not! :D

My grandmother did not understand my love of Guns 'N Roses. The first time she caught a glimpse of them on TV she said to me "Now, why in the heck would you girls want to watch a bunch of long haired hippy beach combers jumping around??" She rolled her eyes, threw her hands up in the air, and left the room. Oh how Krystyn and I laughed at how uncool she was. My poor grandma!

(must press play to listen)

Sidenote: I've been spammed like crazy for the past few days, sorry folks, I've had to turn on the word verification again.

The Results are in

Are you happy with the way your life has turned out?

83% of you aren't exactly where you wanted to be, but things could be much worse.
17% of you would start all over from scratch.



I did notice that not one single person was perfectly content with things just the way they are. Perhaps it just goes to show you that even the most picture perfect people and lives aren't always what they seem. In case your wondering, I was among the 83% that believed things could be much worse.

Thanks to everyone who participated in my on line poll! Don't forget to check out this weeks question.

Caught in the act of getting along!

 

Such Handsome Men!!

 

Woe be the people without health insurance

I have come to believe the doctor's offices and the health insurance companies have a conspiracy going.

I received a bill in the mail from the Evil Dr. Rau last week. Apparently there was some sort of mix up with the health insurance company and the doctor's office, the doctor's office did not receive payment for their services. On the bill it stated the health insurance company was requesting more information.

No big deal, my husband contacted the health insurance company, gave them the information they needed, and payment was sent to Dr. Rau.

Here's where the conspiracy comes in.......

• The bill I received from Dr. Rau was for $853.32.
• The confirmation notice I received from the health insurance company was for $352.32.

This is a difference of $501!! Someone please explain to me why the health insurance company only has to pay $352.32, while, if it were the patients responsibility, the patient would have to pay $853.32. That's totally insane!

Ever wonder.....

• Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
• Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
• Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
• Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
• Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
• Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
• If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Champaign Wishes, Caviar Dreams

This morning I found out my husband has made big plans for our upcoming 4 year anniversary. Such a grandiose and suave guy, he is. He's decided to bring me along to an ice fishing tournament with him.

I laughed out loud, I thought he was joking. I hurt his feelings, he was telling the truth. So, there I sit, thinking to myself, what in the heck kind of anniversary is that?? Freezing my butt off sitting on a 5 gallon bucket watching him pull fish from a hole in the ice. Is he on crack??

Trying to spare his feelings, I told him, as long as you take me out to eat someplace nice, that's all that matters to me. I'll ice fish with you. Now he's all excited again, telling me about how disappointed his friends were that he was taking me instead of them.

I'm not sure how to feel about that, actually. I mean, ice fishing on an anniversary??

The Legend of JW

(Name withheld to protect identity)

JW is the type of man every woman has been warned about. Womanizing, rough and tough, gold blinding you in the sunlight, this man sends up red flags everywhere. He's also one man you never forget once you have met him. Coming from Miami Florida, he is the absolute stereo type right down to the tanned leather skin and flashy Hawaiian shirts. I cringe thinking about the time he sat with Charlie and I at the bar and told me all about his lingerie businesses and how much money there is in sex.

Why is it that the most derelict of men are perceived to be idols by other men? I'll never get it. My husband falls into the category of men that live vicariously through men like JW. It disturbs me a little.

Last night, like usual, my husband is late getting home from work. It was around 9:00 when he walked through the door, grinning, already beginning to tell me tales of JW. He had spent the last several hours with his boss, one of his coworkers, and JW at some bar getting rowdy, apparently.

So, here I am, feeling like crap, sitting at the counter, listening to my husband as he recounts the tale of JW and the gun fight he was in at some seedy location in Miami. JW is hiding behind a dumpster, 2 men are in a car, both shooting at each other. JW runs out of bullets, his gun clicks, and one of the men from the car get out and start walking toward him, probably in route to kill him. Little does he know JW has put 2 more bullets in his gun, JW raises the gun and shoots him in the head. He killed a man!

I was horrified! My husband is sitting here smiling and telling me this story of a gun fight and killing, and he is portraying this guy like he's some kind of hero. In my mind, I know he was in a seedy section of Miami for probably only one reason, and that would be drugs of some kind. I don't know any details, nor can I actually state that as fact, but it is something I strongly feel.

Hero, JW is not.