Another Year Under the Belt

I can't believe it's the last day of the year already. 2005 went by way to quick, so many things happened, and didn't happen for that matter.

I think the one thing that stands out in my mind is the death of Rocky and his Mom. In a million years I wouldn't have guessed something like that happening. It seems so weird to drive by his house and see the driveway totally snowed in. Nobody lives there now, his daughter Lindsey inherited the house and probably almost everything else he owned.

I'm not really one to make new year's resolutions. I never stick to them. If I say I want to do something and hook a resolution to it, I'll be upset with myself for not following through. Instead, I'm going to make a list of things that I really need to work on, things that will improve me and yet be attainable.

• I want to spend more quality time with my family. I'm going to take vacation days to go to the beach. I'm going to watch Zach do stunts on his dirtbike. I'm going to stimulate Thomas's mind with thought provoking activity.
• I want to be less critical of myself. I know I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to a lot of different things. I need to work on accepting the fact that I'm not perfect.
• I want to improve my attitude toward certain things. I can be sarcastic at times. I can also be kind of sharp at times. Sometimes it's unintentional, sometimes it is. I need to work on becoming a better person and not letting other peoples actions get to me.
• I want to finish staining my deck! I've been working on it for years now! LOL (ok, ok, I know, this one sounds suspiciously like a resolution.)

Hope everyone out there has a safe and fun New Years Eve! I plan on staying home, cooking up tons of little finger foods and drinking rum and coke until Dick Clark drops the ball!

(I couldn't resist that one! LOL)

Nothing but tail

I awoke this morning with a candy wrapper stuck to my arm and Thomas peering down at me with a gummy mouse tail hanging out of his mouth.

Now, that was quite the sight to see!

My mother-in-law suddenly backed out of watching the kids today, last minute. Nothing like calling in on the last day of the month/quarter/year. Oh well, what can you do. I really don't think she understands the fact that I work, and by work I mean an actual job that requires my attendance. My other sisters-in-law kind of putz around doing crafts and things all day, only one of them works, and that job is merely a part time job at a jewelry store 3 days a week.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be able to just get up in the morning and have the whole day to do whatever the heck you wanted to do. I think I would get bored. I need to have activity to keep me going. I need to be able to use my brain. I need to have contact with other adults. I would definitely miss the feeling of accomplishment when I had achieved one of my goals.

What can I say?

Apparently I have a terrible blog. My apologies to all.

Just a little funny to end the day.

Update:

The computer guy just called me to tell me that he is unable to find anything at all wrong with my computer. Apparently he has hooked it up to several different monitors and restarted it several different times and had no problems what-so-ever.

I guess that's a good thing, right??

Today after work I'm bringing the monitor over to have him hook it up, just in case. It's funny, though, as I was sitting there talking to the guy, I suddenly wondered if he had probed through my entire computer and checked out all the stuff that I have on there. I've got some pretty personal stuff on there. Budgets, pictures, stories that I have started, did I mention pictures?? Yikes!

OMG!

I have caused an uprising in the front office! It all started when they hired the new engineer. The secretary had to shift around everyone's mailbox to fit him in, which left my mailbox on the floor practically. Mind you, there are 5 columns of mailboxes, I'm not the only one on the floor, there are 4 more individuals with mailboxes on the floor.

I discovered this yesterday while I was in the front office. I made jokes about it and told the secretary the director of operations wanted to switch mailboxes with me. (He was standing right next to me laughing!) It was funny! We laughed! Rick pretended he had a bad back and made creaking noises while pretending to get my mail out of my box!

Today I head into the office to drop off an attendance slip and my mailbox is gone. Nowhere to be found. I asked the secretary where my mailbox went. Apparently the executive secretary had come out and told the secretary to switch her mail box and mine because I made a big deal out of it. I just stared at the secretary as she was telling me this. It ticked me right off! I told her "I was just kidding!", I turned on my heal, and I headed out of the office. Not 30 seconds later, the executive secretary was at my desk telling me the secretary told her I stormed out of the office in a huff because she had moved my mailbox.

Now, by this time, I'm thinking, this is ridiculous. All of this attention over the location of a stupid mailbox. So, I tell her, I was joking around with Rick about the stupid mailbox, I don't care where it is, I don't even care if I have one. So, from this part of the conversation, she leaves the area angrier then hell at the secretary venting about 'no wonder everyone thinks I'm crazy when I have her back stabbing me all the fucking time".

Ugh!!!

Images

Have you ever seen or heard something terrible and the image stays with you? No matter how hard you try you just can't get it out of your thoughts?

I received an email this morning from one of my friends here at work and it just about made me cry. It basically consisted of a series of images of 'people with plenty' compared to 'people who go without'.

So, here I sit at work, very bothered by this email, for a million different reasons. I feel upset that people are suffering so much in the world. I feel guilty that I have things in life that they will never have. I feel sad that I can't change things. I feel happy that I'm not suffering the same fate as the people in the photos. And, I'm kind of angry at my friend for sending me this email and getting me all upset at work.

Sometimes it's hard to just get that image out of your mind.

A pole barn, a computer geek, and a windows error

Today on my lunch I decided to drop the tower off and have the computer guy take a peek at it. It hasn't been working properly for me, something about a windows system error, and I don't want to make the situation worse then it has to be.

I have to start by describing this place of business, it is literally a pole barn that was built behind a home around the corner from my house. You have to walk inside the garage area of the pole barn to get to the office door. Once you make it all the way in to the official office it has computer stuff sitting around on shelves, etc.

So, I arrive with the tower in tow and head up to the door. Now, the last time I was there a normal looking guy was working and I totally expected to see this guy when I stepped through the door. I was in for a shock. The guy behind the counter had most of his head shaved and the portion that wasn't was pulled into a ponytail on the top of his head. He had several huge studs pierced through the upper portion of his ear cartilage and different areas on his face pierced.

I pretended I didn't notice a thing and just started to explain to him the issues I've been having. Right away he knew exactly what was going on and began explaining to me what the problem was. I couldn't believe how smart and well versed he was. Talk about looks being deceiving! If I had listened to my initial instinct and ran like the wind I would have probably ended up paying someone else a fortune to fix the windows error.

In a way he really reminded me of a kid I went to school with. Matt Seucheck was a trencher with anarchist beliefs. I still remember the day, in Mr. Dutcher's world history class, he described to me how to build a bomb with a bic pen. I have to wonder whatever happened to Matt. Is he in prison? Did he become a priest? Is he a normal guy working a 9-5 job in suburbia? I guess I will never know.

Interesting fact, Matt was the first boy to ever call me on the phone. I was in second grade, and I've kept that totally secret until just now.

White Knuckled Arrival

OMG! The entire world was covered with a thin coat of ice this morning. Don't ask me how, but I made it to work in one piece and without any bumps or bruises. Miracle of miracles!

The production managers meeting was cut throat this morning. I can't recall hearing the word 'bitch' used so many times in one sitting in my entire life. When Jim had made the comment "Well, it certainly must be nice to have the production control manager following you around all day with a giant powder puff smacking your ass" I knew it was going to be an interesting day. Tensions are high this week, end of month, end of quarter, end of the year. We are all living and breathing revenue at the moment. I'll be glad when the week is through!

Note: I bought new lip gloss last night that smells fantastic! Smells good enough to eat, actually. For all of you women out there looking to try something new, Maybelline makes a lipgloss called 'Caramella'. It's definitely a must have.

Hmmmm...... This explains a lot!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes something like this:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all
been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How
about achieving 103%? What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass-kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get
you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass-kissing that will put you over the
top !!!!!!

Like a frog wearing pants.....

We spent quite a bit of time discussing elderly male fashion in today's production managers meeting. Apparently fleece throws, recliners, and sweat clothes have become all the rage! All the managers fathers are sporting them these days. (Except mine. I have no idea what he's sporting these days. I haven't seen him since I was 25. Plus, he's not quite as old as my coworkers fathers, this year he will be 53.)

What pray tell did they wear for the holidays? Let me share!

• Jim's dad wore brown polyester pants with an orange and green short sleeved plaid shirt, complete with bow tie and cane. Hanging gracefully with flair and style around his armpits, the brown polyester pants were just short enough to reveal the festive red and green Christmas tree socks. What woman can resist such a stylish man?
• Deb's dad had a walk on the wild side, mixing red and green plaid pants with a red and blue plaid shirt. Have fleece will travel for this man, he comes complete with a travel fleece throw. Just make sure you have the recliner!
• Keith's dad, I believe, chose the less is more option. Who needs to worry about what to wear? Sitting in the recliner wearing a t-shirt and underwear works just fine! Add a beer to the coaster and an occasional belch and he's happier then hell.

What did your father wear for Christmas?? Inquiring minds would love to know.

New Day, New Action

Ok, back to the Salt Mines. (Not exactly sure what that means, but my Grandpa used to say that all the time when it was time to get back to work.)

I'm actually glad to be back at work, to tell the truth, some not-so-pleasant things have happened over the course of the weekend. I'm sure, in time, I'll be able to speak about them, but today is not that day.

My kids had an excellent Christmas and loved everything they got. Thank God!! Zach is getting pretty hard to shop for, I have no idea what to get a kid that's not quite a 'child' and not quite a 'teen'. He ended up with 2 big gifts this year, a remote control snowmobile and a DVD player that you watch while you travel. (Naturally, he got all the socks, underwear, pants, shirts.......etc. stuff as well.) And Thomas, he was pretty easy to shop for. The only thing he wanted for Christmas were blocks. He absolutely loves those things. His favorite gift this year was the cowboy hat and cap guns. The only time they have left his body is when he was in the tub.

Christmas Day Funny: My fake tanned, breast implanted, blond sister-in-law was totally drunk at my mother-in-law's house when I dropped the kids off on Christmas day. In the 45 minutes that I was there, she spilled her drink twice, broke a mirror that was hanging on the wall, performed a mini strip tease to my other brother-in-law, and puked in the snow.

Holiday Bliss

I wish I could say I was feeling the holiday spirit right now, but I'm not. Every year it gets worse, I hate that other people have totally ruined Christmas for me.

Huge holiday fight number 3 happened today. I hate money. I hate what money does to people. I hate that people let money do these things to them. Charlie decided to tell me this morning that he's going to a parts store to buy parts for his jeep. On Christmas Eve he decides to put a couple of hundred dollars worth of fixes in his POC jeep. He has been telling me all week that he wants Roger to take a look at it, but nowhere in that context did he ever mention 'couple of hundred dollars'.

So, once again, I'm the bad guy. I've only got $256 cash in my purse. The rest of his paycheck and mine went toward bills, daycare, and Christmas presents. I didn't even go overboard on the Christmas presents part. I think the only thing I had left to pick up was stocking stuffers. Thanks to me, he says, his mother won't get a Christmas present this year. This totally pushed every last button I have, I could have killed him right on the spot. He planned on stopping at the Mossy Bog store to pick her something up. He probably still will, I'm not stupid. But the thing is, he didn't go out and shop for my Christmas present. In fact, he still doesn't know what he got me for Christmas this year. He was even a little pissed off at me for a while because I hadn't bought myself anything until Thursday.

After arguing for a bit, I went into the living room and started picking up the mess. I'm a cleaning fool when I'm ticked off. I guess it's a good thing because I live in a family of lazy pigs who do not clean up after themselves. Something else that infuriates me right to the core. As I was picking up a bunch of tiny little papers that were ripped up and shredded all over the floor Charlie says to me "Thanks for ruining my day." Ruining his day??

I have single handedly become responsible for every last thing that ever happens in my home. At the moment, it's just way too much for me. He's off in town shopping and doing whatever, like usual, and I'm stuck here with the kids and Zach's friend who stayed the night last night. All I can say is, it must be damn nice to just go do whatever you want whenever you want and not feel any responsibility at all for anything. I hope that one day he gets the privilege of experiencing what it is like to be me. And I hope he's miserable.

So, this post is dedicated to Charlie, the man who ruined Christmas 2005 for me.

Bad Dream

At 3:00 this morning I awoke from a horrible dream. I haven't been able to sleep since. Which, really sucks, I could have slept in this morning, I don't have to work today!

In the dream I was out on a boat with a ton of people. I had no idea who any of them were, we were trying to escape something terrible. There were about 15 of us all standing to the back of the boat by the engines staring off in the distance, watching for the 'terrible' thing. (I can no longer remember exactly what it was that we were fleeing.) The guy to the left of me just kept saying "It only gets worse from here".

That's when I woke up. I'm sure there was more to the dream, I just can't remember any of it anymore. (Maybe that's a good thing.)

I did manage to get most of my gift wrapping done this morning. That's a big plus. Last year I wrapped everything on Christmas Eve, it took me about 4 hours to get it all done.

Jessica is supposed to drop by today to do a little shopping at Kohl's, maybe we'll be doing a little maternity shopping to accommodate the Kidney Bean. I think it's so cute that she's so excited about becoming a mom. I remember when we were kids, all the stupid things we ever did, and I wonder if my kids (and hers) will have all of those same experiences with best friends of their own. I will never forget the time Jessica stayed the night at my house and we slept out in the camper. This camper was horrible! Mosquitoes were buzzing around everywhere so Jessica had sprayed some bug spray on a couple to kill them. Spray had landed on the lightbulb and it started to smoke. For some ungodly reason, we began talking about the possibility of an eyeball on the other side of a piece of tape that was stuck to the ceiling. And, trivial pursuit. We played trivial pursuit to keep us awake all night.

Well, I've ramble on long enough. Time to get my butt in gear and get the day going.

Just the Gang

Thought you all would like a peek at a few of the people I work with. (Yes, that is Helen with a bottle of wine.)

back row: Mary, Me, Dave, Julie, Audrey
front row: Helen, Sherry

Ugh!

Good thing I'm wearing jeans with a little stretch to them! By the end of the day, they are going to need to haul me out to my jeep with the fork lift!

So much food, it's everywhere. I love the last work day before Christmas! Such yummy snacks. Even as I sit here typing I notice I'm wearing crumbs on the front of my top from snacking out in the elk line. Good lord! I was standing there talking to the techs and not one of those guys told me I had crumbs all over the place!

I was surprised by a gift from everyone this morning. We all decided not to do a gift exchange, there is just too much going on and limited funds with everyone to have to worry about picking up gifts for work too. I arrive at work this morning and everyone gathers around my desk, including my boss. I assumed it was because Spicegirl was back here and we were giving her our gift to her. (gift card for Kohl's) When they brought out the huge box I was speechless. I thanked them all, then teasingly chastised them because we weren't supposed to worry about gifts. It was a gift basket full of candles, I love candles. Helen brought me in a cinnamon apple candle and asked me to open her little gift bag right away. She was so excited. Laura brought in some homemade orange cranberry bread. Ruth brought in buckeyes. Audrey brought a little box of chocolates in. Spicegirl gave me the cutest snowman ornament she bought at Call of the Wild. I even received Christmas cards from people I don't even work with. I haven't done a single work related thing today, I've been busy running around thanking everyone for their kindness and snacking on their munchies. I have to say, I'm a very lucky person, there are a lot of people out there who have touched my life in a positive way. I can't express how much I appreciate that.

The paperball war has even taken on a holiday flair. Today only, red and green paperballs are flying over the wall. My aim is impeccable these days, I managed to land another paperball in Joes coffee. LOL

And the box flew......

Slapping a box down on my desk, Mary exclaims "This part is critical, they need these things out on the floor right away!"

Irritated, I glance at the box and grumble "Well, it's just going to have to wait until after lunch." I fully intended on setting it aside until I felt like taking a look at them.

Naturally, Joe was listening in on the other side of the wall. "Sherri, I really need those CC parts in the prep area asap."

"Ok Joe, I guess I'll just skip my lunch, again, so you can get your parts!" Now I'm really irritated. The nerve of some people.

A minute or two pass and I decide to open the box and take a look at the components. One flap opened, I see a black rope like thing. Thinking to myself, what in the heck kind of part is this? I pull the second flap open and right before my eyes, a RAT. The scream echoed across the production floor, Helen nearly jumped out of her skin, the box flew, and I thought I was going to die. Peals of laughter came from all directions.

The scums!! They pranked me!

I am currently the talk of the plant. Even the Director of Operations came back to hear the story.

I have vowed my revenge! LOL

Thomas the Terrible

Present Central in my house is my walk-in bedroom closet. Everything under the sun is tucked away in there. Very sneaky on my part, my kids are always in my bedroom.

This morning while I was getting ready for work I heard the faint sounds of a fire engine coming from somewhere. Standing for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly it was that I was hearing, I peek out the bathroom door and see the light to my closet is on, and the mischievous little voice of Thomas yelling "It's Santa, Santa's here". He had found my stash!

I hurried into the bedroom just in time to see him going crazy looking in all the bags. It took every last ounce of strength I had just to tear him out of the closet. Kicking and screaming, I managed to get him downstairs, I had absolutely crushed his little soul. I have never in my life seen him cry so hard. I tried to tell him that the gifts in the closet were for Carter, that Santa would be back on Christmas day. Between gasping breaths he just keep saying "Not Carter, for Thomas."

He was still broken hearted when I dropped him off at daycare this morning. He says to Kathy as he climbs up on her lap, tears still in his eyes, "I can't like Santa Kathy."

Another holiday related tragedy at the Sanders'. Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

Fantastic Sales

The Christmas sales right now are out of this world. I'm so excited! I went to Old Navy to pick up a few things for the kids and made out like a bandit. I picked up 2 pairs of jeans, 2 sweatshirts, and a hat for Zachary. The damage? $56 - I almost couldn't believe my ears.

My heart of stone is beginning to warm! LOL

Things I learned today at work

• Never ask one of your employees to clarify anything that you happen to overhear. As I was walking past Audrey, I heard her say something about 'pitching something'. So, I innocently ask, what are you going to pitch? Her response, she's pitching her underwear because it's stuck up the crack of her ass. I laughed, told her how grateful I was that she shared that little tidbit of info, and tried to sneak away.
• When kidding around with your employees about their work habits, try not to get too in depth in conversation. You hear things that you absolutely don't want to know. I now know that the new woman, Sherry, is dating her old boss where she used to work. We all laughed and I started kidding around and told her I was married. She said "so is he." Yikes!
• When you wear a turtleneck to work, everyone assumes you are hiding a hickey. John says to me "Sherri, why the turtleneck?" I reply "It's cold outside." He laughs a sinister little laugh.
• It never ceases to amaze me the things Helen comes up with. Today I found out she loves Bruce Lee movies. Owns a million of them. She's a 65 year old great grandmother, for some reason I pictured her watching Disney movies.

Funny Moment of the Day: Joe peeks over the wall and tells John he needs him. John starts ripping his smock open and states "Sorry ladies, I'm outta here." All of us laughing, I offered to let John borrow my turtleneck, he might be needing it more then I do.

Bah Humbug

Have I mentioned how much of a Grinch I am? I wasn't always this way, I have somehow morphed into one over time. It's nights like tonight that slowly eroded away my Christmas spirit.

Overcrowded stores full of people looking for the 'last minute' gift. I couldn't get my cart down an isle to save my soul. It doesn't help that Charlie is such a crab, and rude, and so embarrassing. I can't believe I wanted him to go shopping with me, I must have lost my mind for a brief moment. After about the fifth "please don't embarrass me" I wanted to just kill him. He doesn't understand, of course, that it is not acceptable to say to man who is shopping "get your God damn cart out of the way asshole."

He is mad at me, right now as I type this, because I need to "lighten up" on things. I refused to shop with him anymore. I got in the jeep and asked where he wanted to go next. When he replied to me that he wanted to go to Mary's Tavern, I just gave up. What tiny little hope I had held out that I could somehow redeem the shopping experience was gone. He wasn't trying, why should I.

So, here I now sit, complaining in my blog. I feel like that's all I do these days.

Gotta love your coworkers

(email from one of the manufacturing engineers.)


anytime Cage Lady.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sherri Sanders
Sent: Monday, December 19, 2005 12:01 PM
To: John XXXXXXXX
Subject: RE: OLD PARTS

thanks Juan

-----Original Message-----
From: John XXXXXXXX
Sent: Monday, December 19, 2005 12:01 PM
To: Sherri Sanders
Subject: FW: OLD PARTS

Sherri,

Please scrap 1 part. and receive in.

thanks,
john

What's Your Superhero Name??

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Shimmer. Your Superpower is Kissing. Your Weakness is Sunlight. Your Weapon is Your Prototype Rusty. Your Mode of Transportation is Bullet Train.

What's" your Superhero Name?

The Magnificent 7

As the production managers departed the Huron Room this morning, Jim says to the group, "Ah, here come The Magnificent 7 to save the day."

Speaking on my own behalf, if I were in need of rescuing, the last thing I want to see coming to my aid is this group of production managers!

Hmmm.... makes me wonder, though. If I were a super hero, what would my name be?

I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer

When I was 9 years old I desperately wanted to grow up to become a Solid Gold Dancer. As I was commenting on lbseahag's blog this memory suddenly popped into clarity in my mind.

My younger brother, my best friend from down the road, and I were all sitting on the floor in front of our console TV watching Solid Gold. I was wearing a shiny, gold colored, dress that had been a Halloween costume. I always wore that dress when I watched Solid Gold. Shemiah was wearing a very flashy silver colored pants suit and my brother was wearing a pair of checkered shorts and a yellow and green tank top. As usual, during the commercial breaks, we would all try like crazy to imitate the dance moves and perform the acrobatic flips the dancers would so easily maneuver on stage.

On this particular day, the dancers had dazzled our eye with a neat little trick where one dancer would bend at the waist and put their hands though their legs, and an accompanying dancer would grab the hands and flip the dancer over. Completely positive that this would be the trick of all tricks, I bend down and reach through so Shemiah could grab my hands and expertly flip me to my feet.

1 twisted ankle, 1 rug burned spine, and 1 head injury later we decided that was the end of our Solid Gold Dancing career.

Nothing like a little Maxine on the holidays!

 

Mmmmm...... snack time!

 

Catching Snowflakes

I was in a rush yesterday, everything seemed to be going wrong. I hate those days. I broke my new wiperblade when I was trying to install it, I shut the sleeve of my Colombia jacket in the hood of the jeep when I closed it, and Charlie was such a crab. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind.

Then I looked over at Thomas, with his head back, and his tongue sticking out in the air, and I couldn't help but laugh. He was trying to catch snowflakes on his tongue and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. It even took my mind off the fact that I was stuck there with my sleeve caught until Charlie finally came back outside to see why we hadn't left.

What's that Lassie? The bridge is out ahead? Just make sure you don't touch the edges of that sign!

This is going to be a terrible day....

I can tell already. I've been up for about 30 minutes now and my kids are fighting with each other and my husband is a crab.

Hopefully I make it through the day.

"New Day, New Action"

(One of my favorite quotes from Julie, the new board inspector in my area)

It hasn't even been 24 hours since I was approached by my boss and asked if I would consider bringing on an employee in the receiving area that is returning from maternity leave. Let me emphasize the the part where I was asked if I would 'consider' this addition. I had told her yes, I need some help back here, we are taking on new challenges and I would definitely like to think about the acquisition.

Today one of my receivers approached me and said she would like to ask me a question. She started by telling me that I have always told them to feel free to come to me anytime they have a question or issue. Mentally I'm thinking, oh great, here it comes, what now. So, I tell her sure, no problem, I've got time, let's get it out in the open and discussed. (I have to say, I am very pleased that she felt she could come to me with an issue and felt comfortable enough that we could discuss it.)

Apparently, one of the buyers down in the bull pen had overheard a conversation mentioning the idea of this woman coming to work in the receiving department. She, in turn, told a person from the production floor what she had heard. Well, by the time it had made it back to this receiver, the rumor had changed to the effect that the woman would be coming back and working in the receiving department probably taking one of the receiving girls' positions. My jaw hit the floor!

First, I was pissed off because not only was this totally false information, news of this magnitude must come from me. I was not happy to find out that they heard first from a rumor and not from myself.

Second, the woman coming back to the area hasn't even made it past the 'consideration' stage. On top of that, nobody is losing their job nor are they going to be pushed out. We need a third receiver. It was an idea, nothing more, nothing less! We couldn't even pursue the option until she returns anyway.

Third, now my receiving girls are all upset because I didn't come to them with the news as soon as I heard it. I just told them point blank, when I know something is confirmed and set in stone I will let them know. Too many things change in this place to jump on every little thought and rumor. For all we know, this may never even materialize, and, if it does, they will be the first to know.

I absolutely hate rumors. One of my biggest pet peeves in this place. (Yes, I know, I have a million peeves.)

Highlights from today's production managers meeting

• The charity drive was a huge success!! Over 3000 items were collected, everything from kool aid to ketchup under the trees! We have decided to see if we can get the Herald Times to take a picture and do an article. Polar Bears ended up tying with the Elves with Attitude.
• It was decided that, if given a choice, Keith would eat a live cockroach over coconut.
• Jim confessed to the entire room how he had had such an adverse reaction to Chinese food one time he caused a man to pass out in the casino from the smell of his flatulent.
• I was classified as a 'girly girl' after recounting my tail of dissecting the starfish in biology class and how it grossed me out to this day just thinking about what it sounded like when the scissors crunched through the skin.
• A lengthy discussion ensued revolving around taxidermy and the best way to clean a skull. Bugs vs. Ants vs. Boiling.
• We ended the meeting with a few final stories revolving around constructing site nail gun accidents and the long term effects of becoming a pin cushion.

Something to Ponder

Ok, so, here's the scenario......

You're standing there talking to someone and you notice a fuzzy in their hair. Do you:

a) Pretend you don't notice a thing and continue on with the conversation
b) Pick the fuzzy our of their hair
c) Notify them of the fuzzy and let them pick it out themselves

I have to confess, I am one of those people that will pretend that I didn't see a thing. In fact, 9 times out of 10, I probably wouldn't notice it to begin with. Today while I was talking to Keith about the charity competition, without a second thought, he says "you've got a white fuzzy in your hair" and he pulls the fuzzy out. Which made me realize, if it were he with the fuzzy in his hair, I wouldn't have said a thing.

Holiday Luncheon

We had our holiday luncheon today and I ate way too much. I feel like I'm going to die. RH kept coming around our table and asking how everything was and insisting I go up for different things because 'I can't possibly be full yet'. I could kick his butt. If he wasn't the director of operations, I probably would.

I have to say, I had probably one of the best cookies I have ever eaten in my life. It was a chocolate cookie that kind of looked like a giant hershey's kiss. On the inside, peanut butter! Yummy! I'm going to have to look around and see if I can't find them at Gordon Foods or something. I asked one of the guys who was doing the set up from the catering company and he didn't have a clue.

Now comes the hard part, making it through the rest of the day in my uncomfortable miserable state.

*funny side note: Joe rode his snowmobile to work today and parked it out by the smoking hut. During our lunch, Jim hung a for sale sign on the snowmobile and left my work extension as the contact number. It was discovered when I received a call asking how much I was asking for the sled! LOL

Discussed in todays production managers meeting....

• the lasting popularity of Chia pets, and why you only see them advertised around the holidays.
• do-it-yourself small engine repair for Deb's snowblower.
• the striking similarity of my shoes and the shoes of a mod band Jim listened to in his youth.
• the transparent spider that descended from the ceiling and landed on the conference table. Jim claimed to have seen an evil glint in his eye as he headed toward me.
• the Twilight Zone movie where the earwig burrowed through the man's brain.
• tarantulas and their exploding abilities upon impact.
• here's a new one!! Rick and I discussed the missing components he was looking for yesterday, and, yes indeed, that was work related.

Words of Wisdom from my Grandma

I can vividly recall sitting on the counter top in the kitchen chatting with my Grandma as she cooked dinner. Everyday I did this. Not once did I ever pay any attention to what she was doing, ever. She would tell me constantly "You know Sherri, you're never going to find a man if you can't cook and keep a clean house!"

Of course, I would laugh, inwardly thinking to myself, what kind of guy is out there ogling my cooking abilities! I'm pretty sure the first thing on a guys mind when he sees a female isn't 'oh my God! Now that one looks like she can cook a pot roast!'

Why the trip down memory lane you may be asking? Today on my lunch I decided to run home and put a pot roast in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I took the roast out of the fridge and grossed out at the blood in the bottom of the container. I used a knife to lift it out of the container because I can't touch raw meat and grossed out when the roast made a splat sound in the crock pot. I opened a packet of onion soup mix, dumped it on the roast, and filled the crock pot with water.

This is the first time I've ever made a pot roast. Unsure if I have done it correctly or not, I decide to ask Julie how she cooks her roasts. She starts by telling me she browns it and a bunch of different stuff. Oops, I think to myself. I should have been paying attention to my Grandma when she was trying to teach me how to cook!

Hmmmm.......

RH visited with us this morning, third time he's been in the area this week. Kind of makes me wonder.......

I am completely disgusted by the receiving girls again. One of them came over with a package of assorted chocolates and cookies and stuff and set it on my desk. She says to me "These came in not addressed to anyone, Jill said before we could keep anything that wasn't addressed to anyone." I just kind of looked at her. People just don't send stuff for the heck of it, there is always some kind of recipient, come on! So I asked her to get the box they were sent in. In big letters:

Attention Purchasing Department

I stared in disbelief. "It says 'attention purchasing department' right there. What do you mean they aren't addressed to anyone? This is a gift from one of our suppliers to the purchasing department, we can't keep this!" She had no understanding of what I just said. She just stood there looking at me. "This is a gift from a supplier. Don't think for a second they just send this stuff, they are working an angle. 2 days from now that supplier is going to contact our buyer and confirm they received the gift. They want to butter us up to continue receiving our business."

"Oh, I suppose your right," she responds. She walks away and I can hear her telling Mary that I am 'making' her give it to the purchasing department. That comment ticked me right off.

Greedy Greedy Greedy people. I am disgusted.

About a half hour later Julie comes in with a piece of biscotti and asks me if I would like it. Audrey had complained to the purchasing department that I had forced her to give them the goodies so they gave her a box of biscotti. She wouldn't have even shared it if Julie hadn't seen her with the fancy box, she had thought it was a Christmas gift.

Memories of the Halloween Candy Incident coming back to me.......

Just a little funny for the day :D

Court Reports

I understand these are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead>people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

It completely amazes me.....

how Ozzy Osbourne can be such a complete wreck of a man in real life and be such a great showman and performer on stage. How in the heck does that happen??

I listened to one of his CD's this morning while I was getting ready for work, and it just blew me away that he is so clear and understood when performing.

It was an eye opening experience the first time I watched his MTV reality show. To date, I have yet to understand a single thing he has said.

What's a Christmas without a falling Christmas tree?

I've decided to keep a tally and see just how many times the tree will fall over this year.

This is documented as incident #1 

My Morning in 10 Seconds

1. Poked my eye with my mascara wand.
2. Watched as Hank (my oldest son's dog) snatched my muffin out of my hand on the way out the door.
3. Secretly laughed when the cocky new engineer guy dropped a million surface mount parts all over the floor.
4. Secretly lost my temper after my boss called and said she had to reschedule our meeting that I had prepared for all morning.
5. Missed out on the pizza party Joe's crew had so I could catch up on my work.
6. Laughed my butt off when Helen told Dave he missed a spot while shaving. Dave replied that he was growing a goatee.
7. Listened as Karen aka 'Barkey' told my new people all about how I got the nick name 'Lipgloss'.
8. Nearly sent an asthmatic to the ER because of my body lotion. (How's that for an ego boost!)
9. Became irritated with the truck driver who dropped off the janitorial supplies. When I seen him standing, I asked him if he needed his truck bill signed and held out my hand. He told me that Audrey usually signed them, so I told him that I was the manager of the department and that I also knew how to sign my name on the line. He suddenly changed his arrogant tune.
10. Came to the conclusion that I am not asking Helen about her family anymore. She gives out way too much information.

Just one big happy family

(as told to me by Helen)

When asked how her weekend was, Helen went into great detail telling me how enjoyable it was. She spent time with her great grandchildren, they went carolling with the church..... etc. I thought it was kind of cute, so I asked about the ages of her great grandchildren. That is when things began to pop out of the woodwork.

Apparently, Helen's son married the woman who used to live with Helen's husband's father. The great grandchildren? They are the offspring of Helen's father-in-law and her now daughter-in-law. I almost couldn't believe my ears as she went on with the tale.

It's a little scary, actually. I could almost hear the song from 'Deliverance' playing in the background as she spoke.

What's your fortune?

Your Fortune Is

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

Getting the Driveway Plowed

2nd time this season. Last year the plow guy ended up driving the front end loader down to scoop out the driveway.

Did I mention I hate snow??

This year he's keeping the front yard open too so we don't end up in the same condition we were in last year. At some point there just isn't anywhere to put the snow.

(My jeep sitting in the front yard while the plow guy plows.)

Hello Santa

Thomas and Santa, it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. When Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas, Thomas answered "What's Christmas?" Santa says "It's the day I come around and visit your home with goodies. Have you been good?" Thomas shrugs his shoulders, looks at me, smiles big, and says "Nope". At this point, we had attracted quite the audience. I couldn't help but laugh. "We need to go Santa, Mom wants to decorate the tree." He hopped off Santa's lap and away he went. 

Look what they have done!

My entire collection of magazines, oh, the humanity....... (resting hand on forehead, big sigh) I live with the disciples from hell.

The Results are In

What color underwear are you wearing?

13% of you are not wearing underwear
17% of you are wearing black
10% of you are wearing white
3% of you are wearing red
7% of you are wearing blue
7% of you are wearing pink
20% of you are wearing yellow
3% of you are wearing multi
20% of you are not listed

Thanks to everyone who participated in my online poll! Very eye opening! Those of you who have been 'going commando' were in the lead for quite a while. Side effect of a poll like this, it kind of gets you wondering who is out there wearing what. ;-)

In case you're wondering, I'm sporting black today.

Euro English

(Courstesy of Bill, he so enjoys messing with my mind! Hmmm.... with Business Managers like this, imagine what our customers think.)


Euro English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

CAR/PAR Class - Day 4

Final Day

It's definitely getting interesting in class today. I have the definite feeling of exclusion from Mr. Brownstar. He's been chosen as the facilitator of our class project, and the fact that I have stolen 2 of his key employees is really becoming apparent.

So far:

• He has selectively not heard any of my submissions for the brainstorming session.
• I have been publicly chastised for saying the word 'resources'. (Meanwhile, 2 other people were having sidebar conversations.)
• He has solicited information from every single person in the room but me.

I have decided to just finish out the remainder of the class quietly. His behavior has not gone unnoticed, btw. Phyllis and Sandy both commented to me about it. Oh well, what do you do, someone has to be the asshole, I prefer that it be him over me. :D

It's Back

Special thanks to Jessica and the Kidney Bean. :D

My home computer is working once again.

I've been tagged

(courtesy of W.C. Jack)

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1: Finish reading 'Anna Karenina'
2: Grow old
3: Travel across America
4: Visit Ireland
5: Own a sporty little convertible
6: Live on a lake
7: Finish school

7 things I can do well:
1. Write
2. Read a blue print
3. Work with people
4. Interior decorating
5. Shoot a gun
6. Drive
7. Create Halloween costumes

7 things I cannot do:
1: Vacuum without sucking up stuff that I shouldn't
2: Touch raw meat
3: Watch violent movies
4: Eat mushrooms
5: Talk openly about sex
6: Be around my mom
7: Be mean to someone without feeling bad

7 things that attract me to another person:
1: Smile
2: Intelligence
3: Nice teeth
4: Personality
5: Creativity
6: Nice smelling cologne
7: Kindness

7 things I say most often:
1: I don't think so.
2: Oh My God!
3: You obviously have me mistaken for someone who cares.
4: I said no!
5: Hey Scum.
6: Puh-lease!!
7: Just a sec.

3 screen names I have:
1: sweetums0001
2: receiving inspection goddess
3: casper

3 physical things I like about myself:
1: Smile
2: Baby hands
3: Hair

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
1: Ears
2: Big boobs
3: Feet

3 parts of my heritage:
1: Irish
2: German
3: American Indian

3 things that scare me:
1: Death
2: Bad dreams
3: Dimensia

3 of my everyday essentials:
1: Mt. Dew
2: Laughing
3: Friends

3 of my favorite musicians:
1: Johnny Cash
2: Bob Dylan
3: Lynyrd Skynyrd

3 of my favorite songs:
1: To Be Close to You (Bob Dylan)
2: Are You Gonna Go My Way (Lenny Kravitz)
3: Cecilia (Simon and Garfunkle)

3 things I want in a relationship:
1: Trust
2: Honesty
3: Commitment

3 lies:
1: I don't mind.
2: Sure, I have time.
3: I didn't even see it.

3 of my hobbies right now:
1: Writing.
2: Reading.
3: Photography.

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
1: Talk late into the night
2: Watch a movie
3: Share a special moment

3 careers I've considered doing:
1: Beautician
2: Teacher
3: Social Worker

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
1: Hawaii
2: Mexico
3: Australia

3 kid's names I like:
1: Wyatt
2: Emily
3: Hannah

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy:
1: I'm mechanically inclined.
2: I often say the wrong thing.
3: I'm handy around the house.

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical girl:
1: I won't leave the house without my hair done and make-up on.
2: I Can Be Sensitive
3: I Worry About My Weight

3 people I would like to see take this quiz:

I'm going to leave this up to my readers. :D
If you would like to take the quiz, I would love to see your answers.

It's Official

I'm missing my home computer. You have no idea how much fun I have sitting at night reading everyone's blogs and chatting with friends. Plus, I just discovered Literati! I've barely been able to learn how to play, and I haven't even won a game yet. (Due to extreme procrastination, I've said everyday this week that I need to drop it off to have it looked at, but that's as far as I've gotten.)

1 more day of class to go. I can't wait until it's done. For the first 4 hours of the day I sit in the training room trying to absorb as much information as possible, and the next 5 hours I try like crazy to catch up with everything that I couldn't do the first 4 hours of the day because I'm still expected to get 9 hours of work out. It's crazy and it's frustrating. The minute I left that training room I had people mobbed around my desk with complaints and 'issues' and emergencies. It's enough to drive you insane. But, being a respected member of management, you have to sit there and listen intently and work through each issue and problem until everyone has been taken care of.

Flip side of the coin...... does my manager do that kind of stuff? Nope. She's in the line of people waiting to gripe at me because she had a complaint that items were found in the receiving department that had not been received in but had been in house for 2 days. (Yikes! I'm crabby again.)

• Ok, I'm trying my best here. You've got me stuck in a class for a good portion of my day that I have already taken multiple times in the past.
• I'm still required to get the same amount of output in half the time.
• I'm stressed out.
• Did you bother to do any research before you decided to flex your authority?

Dancing Santas and Musical Wreaths

I have never before seen this much Christmas ornamentation on one person's desk. Helen completely takes the prize.

I arrived at work today to find her desk completely decked out with twinkle lights, gold garland, ornamental bulbs, a wreath that plays music and blinks, Christmas cards, and a dancing Santa. A dancing Santa! I will be spending the rest of my days until Christmas looking at the back side of a dancing Santa wiggling back and forth.

I feel like I've fallen into that Chevy Chase movie where he blacks out the neighborhood with his Christmas lights.



*The Elves with Attitude are catching up to the Polar Bears. Joe has sent out a pep talk email to secure more donations. I have offered the idea to have Jim dance for everyone in his gold speedo along with the dancing Santa. LOL

5 Things any man should know if they plan on being happily married

1. Never tell your wife what she is going to do on her lunch break at work. It is her lunch break, she earned it, let her eat her lunch. Do not call her up and tell her she has to do anything ever. Do not assume that she is expected to forfeit her break period to do some nonsense useless bullshit because you are too lazy to do it yourself.
2. Always sit down and eat a meal with your family when it is prepared. (This does not include huddling around a pizza box for 5 minutes while you grab out a few pieces.) When you don't give your family enough respect and consideration to at least share 45 minutes out of your day with them, they deserve better then you.
3. 'This is your job' is never an acceptable excuse to get out of anything. If your wife is expected to hold a full time job outside the house, nothing is ever just 'her job'. Do not look at her and say "What's for dinner?" Do not look at her and say "When are you going to clean up that mess?" Do not look at her and chastise her because there is a pile of laundry in a basket in the bathroom. You are just as capable of doing all that and more yourself.
4. If you see your wife running around the house trying to get ready for work in the morning, for God's sake, help her out! Don't stand back and say "Hey, I'm trying to watch the news here!"
5. Never, under any circumstance, take money out of your wife's purse or wallet and not tell her. It is never a good time to discover I don't have as much money as I thought I did, but it's horribly embarrassing to discover it when you are handing money to the cashier and you don't have enough.

Sorry folks, the list could be so much longer, but I don't have the time right now for more bullet points. (Yes, I'm crabby now. Just venting.)

CAR/PAR Class - Day 2

Even worse then day 1.

In today's class we have discussed farts in church, his fraudulent impersonation of one of his client's quality tech employees in a Chrysler audit, table dancing, Jackie's birthday, my ability to be easily amused, and why Jim C. told the instructor what Thomas's name was when I was asked. Apparently it became a part of his lesson plan to 'find the worms' in our CSI investigation. He was of the impression that Jim and I were married or something. This guy is on crack! 2 more days to go.........

The Most Embarrassing Thing that Happened to Me Today

I was trapped in the 2nd to last stall of the women's restroom for 20 minutes when the latch thing broke off in my hand. The maintenance guy had to come in and take the door off it's hinges. Even if I could crawl under the door, it would have to be a life or death situation to get my butt crawling on that disgusting tile.

Corrective & Preventive Action

(aka Sam Kennison 'In Your Face' action)

Today's problem: Why is Bubba's truck stuck?

Use the 5w2h approach to solve this calamity. Meanwhile, Mr. Instructor wisecracks and swears in the front of the class to get his point across. Although I found it humorous he somehow managed to get so worked up telling us about his wonderful achievements and his cardiovascular appointment yesterday that he ended up with sweat stains under his man boobs, I am not impressed in the least by the guy. In fact, I think he's too hung up on being 'cool' and 'funny'. It reminds me of the episode of King of the Hill where Hank Hill is forced to take traffic school.

Unfortunately for me, I was sitting at the table with the Business Analyst, Materials Process Control Coordinator, and the Production Control Manager. He picked on our table quite a bit. Lot's of funny jokes about the people without a clue. Naturally, he singled me out to have a hypothetical meeting with him where he yelled in my face and asked what my response would be. Another time he crumpled up money and threw it on the floor. I came away from this class wondering how in the heck someone like this becomes a licensed collegiate professor. We hired this guy from NCMC to perform this training.

Which, btw, has got to be about the 5th time I've been forced to take Corrective/Preventive Action training. Chinese Water Torture, pure and simple. Just pierce my ears with chopsticks and get it over with.

Thoughts from a 12 year old

• I like these old time bands (he says to me while I'm listening to a Nirvanna cd)
• Were you alive when they had record players? (he says to me during the new Hallmark Gold Crown commercial)
• Just write a check (he wants a snowmobile for Christmas, I told him I didn't have that kind of money)
• I'm not going to work. I'm just going to live here. (he says to me when I told him he needed to buckle down or he won't be able to find a good job.)
• What was it like to live without electricity? (good lord! How old does he think I am??)

I'm having a rough morning this morning. I'm stuck taking the Sam Kennison PG-13 version of Problem Solving 101. I'll be sure to post more on the class later. I think I would rather have my fingernails removed one by one then spend another minute in that horrible class.

How can one man be so irritating? The instructor is enought to drive me insane.

I know way too much!

Dave, Byron, and Viagra Man were just back here to discuss the drill guide on one of the customer prints.

The conversation had started out with Byron teasing Audrey about zeroing in on the source of the contamination on our circuit boards. She was eating Sour Cream and Onion potato chips, he claimed they believed it was coming from the vinegar and spices from her chips, not from the people at the board house in Taiwan. Somehow that conversation evolved into Viagra Man telling everyone about a 6ft Asian woman wearing heels and 2 huge white snakes. I thought I was going to die! Poor Byron! He's a very religious guy, I'm sure he was near heart failure. LOL

It's never a dull moment in this place. Now I'm left trying to figure out, are there really 6ft Asian people out there??

6 Things that shocked me today

1. Helen telling me she has 3 boyfriends! Sweet little 65 year old widowed Helen has 3 boyfriends!! "I don't flirt with them" she says..... LOL!
2. I have seen pictures of Dave dressed as Little Red Riding Hood with my own eyes! Absolutely hilarious. Cute shoes too! FYI - he admitted he wears a women's size 10 shoe. Hmmm.......
3. Julie asking the engineer about his Viagra pen. I stood motionless during the whole thing. Apparently, he has no idea how he ended up with the pen. (incredulous laughter now)
4. The amazing absorbency powers of cheepo Kleenexes. The engineer was a bit flustered after the pen incident, spilling his coffee everywhere.
5. The sight of Mr. Brownstar's butt crack when he bent down to pick up something from the floor. Yikes!
6. It is impossible to buy a single stamp at my post office.

Bah! Humbug!

I hate to admit it, but, I'm a Grinch. I hate Christmas time. I cringe thinking about it every year. It's the time of year that anything that could possibly go wrong, does. A time of over crowded shopping malls and stores, parking spots so far away your destination is a dot on the horizon, a time when I continuously worry about being able to make everyone happy.

I've brought in a few more items for the Charity competition at work. We are killing the Elves with Attitude. So far the Polar Bears have just under 300 items under the tree. (Enough items that they have had to rope off our Christmas tree.) The Elves, I think they are still under 100. I can't wait to see how much we accumulate by the 15th. :D

As an added boost of inspiration, Jim has volunteered to give the troops a pep talk in his gold speedo. Either they bring in donations, or he will show up in the speedo. LOL


Side note: My home computer has decided not to work all of a sudden. I'll try to keep up with everyone's blogs as much as possible throughout the work day, but I won't be able to do any posting or reading at night. Which really sucks. Hopefully it'll be an easy fix for the tech guy, I guess I'll find out when I drop it off.

I Can't Sleep

Ugh! It's 12:12am and I can't sleep! I hate it when I get this way.

I just love this cute little face!!

 

Just Fill in the Blank

(Ok, so, I'm not feeling horribly creative today. This looks like it could be fun though!)

This tidbit of online fun was brought to you by Damasta. (after all, I did steal the idea from her blog.) Just fill in the blanks, and leave your answers in the comments.


1. I _____ Sherri.

2. Sherri is _____.

3. If I were alone in a room with Sherri, I would _____.

4. I think Sherri should _____.

5. Sherri needs _____.

6. I want to _____ Sherri.

7. Someday Sherri will ___.

8. Sherri reminds me of _____.

9. Without Sherri _____.

10. My memories of Sherri are _____.

11. Sherri can be _____.

12. The worst thing about Sherri is _____.

13. The best thing about Sherri is _____.

14. I am _____ with Sherri.

15. One thing I would like to know about Sherri is _____.

16. Sherri should go and _____.

17. Sherri, _____ me.

Got my new Allure magazine......

And, of course, the first thing I did was open all of the perfume samples and sniff away. One scent that particularly caught my attention this month was a men's scent.

Men, you may want to pay special attention to this little tidbit of information. Giorgio Armani, Acqua Di Gio for men, smells fantastic! Seriously, I loved the sample. If you're wanting to catch the attention of a special someone, this is just the ticket! (alcohol-free deodorant stick $16, after shave lotion pour $46, cologne spray $45) Every woman loves a nice smelling man. (just don't get carried away)

Women, one scent I would avoid if possible, Donna Karan, Cashmere Mist. It smelled like scented toilet paper to me. Ugh! It's super expensive too. If I'm going to spend $85 on something it is not going to be so I can smell like charmin.

Ow! My Eye!

Have you ever laughed so hard your head hurt? It happens to me frequently. Today, however, is the first time I've ever incurred an eye injury from laughing.

As usual, Sandy, Julie, and I are talking about stuff that is totally not work related. It began with a harmless comment about our necessity of a playgirl calendar to keep track of which week we are currently in. It ended with a conversation about having 'the goatee', and I'm not talking about facial hair. LOL

So, here we are, all three of us giggling and laughing about such things that you don't want to know, and I poke my eye! Sandy throws her hand up while talking and it flies right into my eye! That's when I laughed so hard my head started to hurt. Now I have a watering eye and a headache that won't quit.

Thank God It's Friday!

I am so not in the mood to work!

I can't wait to get the heck out of here!

In this mornings production managers meeting I learned:

• Ed will eat maggots because they are high in protein
• People have been killed by eating live octopus
• You can buy a can of squid in it's own ink
• Everyone likes oysters but me
• Our conversations can be heard almost down the hall into the front office
• It is impossible to find a picture of a menacing elf

Dedicated to the Guy in the Green Work Truck

You know who you are...... You are the guy in the big green work truck who decided I was driving to slowly on the snow covered icy roads. You are the guy who passed me doing about 50, cut me off because an oncoming car was in the opposite lane, and left me freaking in a veritable white out.

I had my kids in the car asshole!! May you land yourself in the ditch and freeze your butt off!!

Viagra Man, Part II

"I'm Baaaaaaaack....." he says as he steps through the door to my area.

LOL! No, he didn't really do that! But, he was just back here, because, in his words, I am the 'symix Queen'. Yikes! He wanted me to show him how to execute a few searches and how to navigate around the computer a bit.

Now, what do you suppose I'm thinking the entire time I'm trying to show him some short cuts and tricks of the trade? I'm thinking about why in the heck is he still using that stupid pen!!!! And, why in the heck has he decided to make me his new best friend????

Grrrrrrrrrr.........

The company I work for has split the work force in half for a friendly competition of 'who can bring in the most food/hats/mittens/socks' for the charities in Gaylord.

The 2 battling sides:

Elves with Attitude vs. The Polar Bears

(Who in the heck picks a name like Polar Bear?? It sounds all cute and mushy, like a Coca Cola bear. Yikes! I have requested Joe change our name to Polar Bears on tequila)


So far:

Battle between the puny elves and the mighty polar bears - score 1 for the polar bears! We have 14 items under the tree and they have ZERO!

The Results are In

What is your favorite season?

26% of you have Spring fever
5% of you live for the Summer
37% of you love the Fall
32% of you prefer a Winter wonderland

Thanks to everyone who participated in my on line poll!! In case you're wondering, I love Fall myself.

Don't forget to check out this weeks poll, I've decided to shake things up a bit. :D